does it get easier??

bluebag

Short answer NO. that's why most of us are on here! It gets different and interesting though.

I still have nowt really, but got rid of the debt. I do have a lovely DH. I have a roof, enough food, and at the moment our health isn't too bad.

So I look at what I have got, not what I haven't and really it is good.

[Deleted User]

Don't forget Christmas is just a Wednesday in the middle of the week,nothing magical or expensive needs to be got.Would you buy a turkey for next Wednesdays mid week meal No of course you wouldn't .When I was growing up in the 1940s we had a past its best Chicken from the garden that my Dad killed or if we were unlucky enough to not have an available chook Mum would buy one from the local market where they hung up by their feet swaying gently in the breeze and not that far from a kerosene lamp.Taken home she would 'draw ' its innards and then my two brothers and I would pluck it and she would go over the stubbly bits with a candle burning them off to get rid of them(No one wants feathers for Christmas dinner :))
I think I was 23 before I ever tasted a turkey(never been that impressed by them even now)Folk had a chicken on Christmas Day as a treat once a year.I go to my Dds for christmas and I'm happy with whatever she produces ,but if I was cooking for myself I would be just as happy with a small clucker or even pork/lamb chops .Its still just a day in mid-week and nothing to get worked up over.The shops shut for one day yet you'd think they were shut for a month the amount of shopping that gets hauled home.Most of which will probably end up binned unfortunately.I take any left over home and stuff my DD wants shot of I will happily take home and use up in January Last Christmas I came home with 6 months virtually supply of pickles,jars of chutney,and god knows what else as my eldest DD had overspent (she's daft like that :)) I was happy to help her out and it all got eaten eventually I hate the thought of anything being wasted at all.

maman

I really hope it will get better for OP but it won't just happen by magic with the passing of time. Many of you have posted that it's her LBM. That may be the case if she's lying awake thinking about it. I do hope so.

I realise that many people are really up against it on low wages and high rents but it can get better with a great deal of persistence and effort.

I'm assuming from the cooking comment that perhaps OP is buying ready meals/take aways and wasting money that way. There's plenty of advice on here about meal planning/cooking/shopping. Just ask.

If OP has debts, one assumes they've been buying things they can't afford.

I'd advise two things to get you started:

• keeping a spending diary of every penny you spend and then analysing where you can save.
• talk to your DH and get him on board otherwise he could undo all your good work

ILoveEoin

thank you for been so supportive, I really did just want an moan but more I tossed and turned during the night I really do need to pull up my socks it just getting hubby on board as I am so soft on him and buy anything because he wants it! were in massive debt and nothing to show for it, don't own our on home, wee have 1999 wee car that worthless but means everything to us. I need to be able to say no and not feel better and give in!

I love the wee story bout sofa, it so true why do I need new sofa that I am still paying for and actually not that keen on! I really rather have bogof story to tell ppl

I didn't no bout youtube and cooking, I will be checking them out:) we do have a lot of takeaways here are simple meals like spuds and meat. I love to be able to cook, bake I have requested Jackie o cookbook and have received it.

were luck enough that hubby working and I am temping in office at min so we have enough to pay bills just debt not goin down it just still at the same level:(

my bank always overdrawn, I need sort this out! 2014 goin be my year if I try xx


thank you each and one

bluebag

You might try giving yourself and your OH a weekly spending amount. That way you both have something and it may help you to budget.

BitterAndTwisted

Angel, your Number One New Year's Resolution is to get your husband on board. Without you both pulling in the same direction you will get nowhere.

Any time he tells you he wants X and you don't have the money in the bank to pay for it, ask him how much longer that debt added to your others is going to take to pay off.

Honestly, I think you should pay a visit to the Debt Free Wannabe part of the forum and have a good read there. There are any number of ways to get to grips with paying debts off but the very first things are a determination to face reality and the understanding that current spending patterns are unsustainable and have to change. Hair shirts and deprivation do not have to be part of the plan.

bluebag

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Angel, your Number One New Year's Resolution is to get your husband on board. Without you both pulling in the same direction you will get nowhere.

Any time he tells you he wants X and you don't have the money in the bank to pay for it, ask him how much longer that debt added to your others is going to take to pay off.

Honestly, I think you should pay a visit to the Debt Free Wannabe part of the forum and have a good read there. There are any number of ways to get to grips with paying debts off but the very first things are a determination to face reality and the understanding that current spending patterns are unsustainable and have to change. Hair shirts and deprivation do not have to be part of the plan.

This ^ is really good advice. If you are saving and making economies and he is spending and undoing all your hard work ( or the other way round) it can cause a shed load of resentment.

pollypenny

I'd like to say it does get easier, but frankly we had to count every penny up until our younger child graduated.

Part of the problem was that we moved for them to go to a good school and the interest rate shot up under Thatcher. Then OH had promotion to his dream job, but stopped working shifts and lost the allowance.

However, we had some great times, including cheap holidays camping in France on municipal sites. We loved Christmas without going overboard, although the kids always had their big present plus lots of little ones from family etc.

The key is working together.

Btw: I still wear pyjamas and socks and put a throw on top of the duvet for weight. OH is tight with the heating.

maman

bluebag wrote: »

This ^ is really good advice. If you are saving and making economies and he is spending and undoing all your hard work ( or the other way round) it can cause a shed load of resentment.

Totally agree. I understand you being soft on him but you're his wife not his mum and he really has to come on board with you to tackle the debts together. Time for your DH to stop being an ostrich, but then it's so easy to give an ostrich a kick up the proverbial! :rotfl:

If you go to the DFW board, you could post your SOA and then you'd get loads of advice on how you might be able to cut back spending to attack those debts.

Good Luck.

maman

pollypenny wrote: »

Btw: I still wear pyjamas and socks and put a throw on top of the duvet for weight. OH is tight with the heating.

Fortunately our home is well insulated with the exception of single glazed windows (need to look into secondary) so our heating goes a long way. I don't do the socks and pyjamas but I LOVE my electric blanket and only need the throw when it's below freezing for days on end.

All these little savings add up.