Should I stop

seven-day-weekend

I too would continue to send cards at Christmas and send cheques to the niece. If at a later date she wishes contact with you, then you can show her all the cheque stubs to prove to her that you never forgot her.

*Louise*

Even though I know they weren't cashed, I would still send cheques and cards for your neice but probably would stop one's to anyone else

SimonSays

I guess I could keep the cards for my niece. What are the chances of her knowing about me and seeking me out?

Adrenalina

It's going to be tricky to try to show that you're open to a reconciliation without looking like you're stalking them... It's a really tough call, deciding to cut off family members. Your family probably just want to forget anything ever happened, and you sending cards keeps reminding them of a really tough time for everyone. Only you know how likely it is that they might relent. Chances are, they think they are protecting your niece from a "bad influence". A few cards won't change their minds. So it's more about what you think you get or don't get from continuing to try. Good luck either way. I hope you can build your own loving family unit and put the past behind you.

gwynlas

I would be inclined to continue as this puts you in a higher moral position plus it serves to remind them that you are out there. Not only that but for the price of a few cards and stamps you are asserting that you are still part of the family which might be important down the line should one of them die. Rather than send cheques that aren't cashed perhaps give the money in your nieces to a charity that acknowledges donations.

meritaten

ok - you obviously care about your niece so why not open a bank or savings account for her when she comes of age? or buy a half sovereign or something each year to keep for her? keep sending the cards at Christmas and on her birthday. keep signing them - with love Uncle.....................
because one day she is going to open those that are addressed to her.

nickj_2

you could always send them a card which says that although you don't seem to care about me , i care about you , life's too short .

atrixblue.-MFR-.

setup a PO account and put all the money you send at birthdays and Christmas etc in there instead of forwarding money hoping it reaches her then when the time comes and you need to make a will leave her sole beneficiary to the account, with the statements, you would write a little letter saying how things transpired for you, how you and the family got cut off how sent money and presents to her but when the presents were sent back for refund you decided that setting up an account would benefit her more and that you didn't cut her off you just applied the money to the account for her rather than her not get use of it or see it.


as for family, if their not willing its no use you trying.

SimonSays

Sorry for reading and not posting, I bumped into someone that goes to the same social club as my family. He is part of my proof if you get me. He told me my grandad died 3 months ago. He had an old number for me so he couldn't tell me. So I guess I have been well and truly cut off. So I am doing the same.

As for my niece. I have the cash in a savings account earning her some interest. As for the will thats a great idea. I can look to do that and I can keep sending her a card. Just upsetting that I sent her presents from amazon and they were returned for refund.

I've really done nothing wrong, I'm being punished as if I've robbed a bank.

bagpussbear

I think you should stop sending cards - although it's admirable you are sending to your niece, I suspect they are ripped up and she never even knows they came. Continuing to send them won't change this.

I'm on the other end of the situation, I had to cut my brother out of my life (for very very good reason) and he continued to send my son cards which to be honest I found offensive - if I didn't want anything to do with him, no way would I allow my child to. They were ripped and binned. I suspect that's how your family feel - they could have banked your money, but feel that strongly they don't want it.

I know it's not fair as you did nothing wrong and I think your family have been harsh by not giving you a fair hearing at least, but I really don't think anything is to be gained by sending anything any more.

Hopefully in the future things will change, and others have suggested about opening an account and putting money away for her in the future, I like that idea.