Should I stop

Own_My_Own

Gigglepig wrote: »

I would continue sending cards and presents to the niece, the falling out had nothing to do with her and in time she may see and appreciate the effort.

But the gifts he bought were returned to Amazon. So she may not have even seen them. Or may have decided, after hearing what her family have said, she didn't want them.

arbroath_lass

SimonSays wrote: »

Years ago me and my family fell out. I was accused of stealing money. I didn't had proof where I was but my family was hearing none of it. Even my own gran cut me off.

I was homeless. I got back on my feet and every year I've sent them a christmas card and I send my neice a cheque for her birthday and christmas. Although last year I sent her some toys from amazon but I got a refund notice from amazon saying they were returned to sender.

Should I stop sending them a card and move on and in 13 years time send my neice a letter explaining whats gone on.

I know they still live there. Ive seen my parents come out of their house when Ive been near and my brother is still at the same address still.

I'm not at all sure this is good advice but could you try knocking on your brother's door with the card and gifts? It's harder to be ignored face to face and might make your brother think a little. At least then you'd know.

meritaten

I think you should try to keep contact with niece too. though I doubt if anything you send reaches her. when she is old enough and you can contact her directly, she may appreciate that you TRIED to keep in touch.
Did they cash cheques btw? if they did then they will have a hard time explaining why they cut you off?

*Louise*

I also wondered if they had cashed the cheques?

ineed

I know how you feel to a certain extent, I cut some family members out of my life (best decision I ever made though). I personally would stop sending gifts, it's an exercise in futility if they're just going to return them (although I too wonder if they cashed the cheques). Your niece may not have even known about them. In years to come as she gets older you could try getting in contact with her and explaining the situation, these days finding someone is relatively easy with social networking etc.

Kayalana99

SimonSays wrote: »

Years ago me and my family fell out. I was accused of stealing money. I didn't had proof where I was but my family was hearing none of it. Even my own gran cut me off.

I was homeless. I got back on my feet and every year I've sent them a christmas card and I send my neice a cheque for her birthday and christmas. Although last year I sent her some toys from amazon but I got a refund notice from amazon saying they were returned to sender.

Should I stop sending them a card and move on and in 13 years time send my neice a letter explaining whats gone on.

I know they still live there. Ive seen my parents come out of their house when Ive been near and my brother is still at the same address still.

Does she cash the cheques?

You make out like the amazon gifts were rejected because you sent them...but that doesn't make sense how do they know it was from you? Most people accept a parcel don't look at it properly till its inside, but at same time unless you wrote your name on front? (It had your name on it not your nieces?) how did they know it was from you?

To me it sounds like they don't live their anymore?

SimonSays

No cheques were ever cashed. I guess they were thrown away burnt or if my brother was lazy and threw them into a box somewhere.

My niece is only 5 so she wouldn't have sent them back. It would have been my brother.

In a way, I hope my brother was lazy and put the cards in a box and my niece finds them and asks, but in another way, I don't as poison will be set in.

pops5588

I cut my father out of my life and am not able to see my half-sister because of this. I have no doubt that she will either grow up believing I am a terrible person or that I do not exist. Any cards that I have ever sent have been put in the bin. I gave up, and have resigned myself to the fact that if she ever wants to find me and ask me any questions about what happened, I will be as honest with her as I can. But you have to move on and get on with your life you can only prepare for the future. She may or may not try to find you herself. Just be ready in case that happens. You've done all you can.

tanith

I would continue to write cards to your niece but keep them yourself in a box , then if ever she comes looking for you you will have something to show that you never forgot her.

lavalamp

I think you should continue to send cards at Christmas and birthdays. Just because they have cut you out doesn't mean that one day things won't be healed. Something may happen one day that will mean they want to reach out to you and the fact that you still try to keep in touch will help with that.

I really hope that one day you can be reunited with your family - it must be tough at Christmas to not have them around. There are so many people out there who have lost their family and will never have the chance to spend Christmas with them again - we should all learn to forgive and forget because one day it will be too late.