How often do your children see their father?

Kimitatsu

Bestthingsinlifearefree wrote: »

How sad these threads are.

We have become a society of weekend dads, kids who don't know who their dads even are, dads who won't take responsibility for their children, mums who move from partner to partner etc etc

what a mess and it is always the children who suffer.

Not having a go at any one. I just think every child deserves a loving mum and dad. Some of us adults should take a bit more responsibility about our choices in life to make sure this happens.

I think thats a bit generalist - not all of us do that :rolleyes:

I split up form my ex when my boys were 2 and 5 weeks (well to be more precise he came home packed a bag and left) things were never right from the beginning. He would see them every other weekend and now he sees them every six weeks, but doesnt bother to call inbetween at all

It upsets my eldest son a lot and I have tried to talk to my ex about it, but he doesnt want to know, now that he has a successful business, new girlfriend etc.

I have a new partner (been together six years now) but I would not let him meet my kids until we had been dating for over 6 months, and it was my DS that wanted to meet him! But yes I do agree that children should have 2 loving parents whether they live together or not, and it is ultimately them who suffers in the long run. My boys are lucky that they adore my new partner to them he is their real dad.

Bucksliz - hang on in there, you will always be your daughters mum whoever else comes along.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

There is always hope. I am sure that many of these children from brocken homes will grow up with the determined vow to do things different and make sure they bring their children into the world with 2 loving married parents.

So their children don't have to endure what they suffered the merry go-round of absent fathers, "new" mummies and daddies, being passed around from house to house at weekends, being used as pawns in bitter separations as parents try to score points etc etc

Not having a go but just feel as a society we have seriously lost our way in regard to our children and our responsibilities as adults.

argonaut1

My son has been staying at his dad's every alternate weekend (Friday night until Sunday night) and one evening a week since he was five and he still does this now he is eighteen. He also has him for a couple of weeks in the summer holidays. He is a top Dad and has never let our son down and consequently they enjoy a very good relationship. We decided when we split up that our son would always come first and our own personal feelings about each other would be set aside. I do realise, however that this is just not possible for everyone. I hope the OP can come to a similar arrangement with her ex as she definitely deserves some time to herself and has no need to feel guilty for wanting this.

black-saturn

Mine havn't seen their father for about 6 years and don't want to either. It's not for the want of trying. They really don't want to and I'm not going to make them do something they don't want to do. He has never challenged this or taken me to court over it.

I think the OP should ask if it's possible to have the children on the odd weekend and see what he says then slowly build up. You don't have to tell him why you need the time. Just say they will benefit from being there or something like that.

choccyface2006

My ex has our girls every other weekend and my partner has his that weekend too so we have every other week on our own and the weeks when we have all the kids, we can do something all together. We also take all the children away for a fortnight in the summer and have then for about a week during Christmas holidays.

This works really well for us and the children, Your ex really should have your children overnight, they will enjoy spending time with their dad and you will feel refreshed. As much as we love them, its nice (& healthy) to have some time apart and in the company of other adults!

Sarah xx

Elle00

Oh it just hacks me right off when people with little or no experience of these matters get out the kleenex and dramatically state "oh but it's the kids I feel sorry for..."

Why? My son hasn't got a sodding clue who is Father is for starters. My son is happy, healthy, contented, loved and well provided for. Kids like my son who have little or no experience of a two parent family will never know any different. My god, most parents that split are not interested in scoring points off the other parent over doing what is best for their child so even where the kids are old enough to know it isn't usually an issue. Where do some of you get your "statistics" from?

As for "all the new Mommies and Daddies" quip, my blood is just boiling. We're all bed-hopping sl**s are we?

It's nearly always the bad few that get remembered and used as examples isn't it? And nearly ALWAYS the Mothers that get kicked when they're down I note, no-one says anything to the absent Fathers do they? No, they just carry on their friendships and social activities with them like they're sound blokes who're being cruelly kept from their beloved children... Oh but on the other hand, people always seem to have sympathy for resident Fathers whilst being totally repulsed by absent Mothers. What a double standard. Some of the posts on here are a prime example of what is wrong with society and it's got nothing to do with a happy child being bought up by a loving single parent.

Where both parents share parental responsibility (and they nearly always do if both are on the birth cert) they also automatically share the right to co-parent their child or children. When a parent chooses to leave the family home and does not automatically take joint custody or start a court process to obtain it - THAT IS THEIR CHOICE TO LEAVE THEIR KIDS SO THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO WHINGE WHEN THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT LATER ON.

Having kids is a lifetime commitment not a flaming hobby that revolves around NRP's wanting to live a single life and still play at being a parent when it suits them. Why on earth do so many people just assume it is the PWC's responsibility to bend over backwards to accommodate the NRP's demands? Ohhh but the kiddies lose out if you don't do as you're told and be totally and unquestionably flexible to their demands...

Well how about considering the fact that in doing so it is setting a very bad example for the child or children and offering them a chaotic, confusing and unstable upbringing to boot? And in my personal case, it is not even safe for my child to do what the NRP has asked. Three times I've backed down over safety concerns and three times I've been proven right to have had my concerns. That's just three times when I've backed down over an issue, it doesn't include all the times I've naively had faith of my own accord in trying to do what I used to believe was right for my child.

Argh this just makes me so flaming angry :mad: Who the hell are some people to stick their nose in and judge everyone with the same sweeping statements? And to make such weak comments as that they feel sorry for the poor kiddies... It just beggars belief anyone would be so damn insensitive.

My child does not need anyone's pity and I suspect the OP and a lot of other lone parents may well feel the same.

Oh and update on my own situation; not heard from Dad in a month now and it wouldn't take this long for him to send a solicitor's letter through if he actually wanted to see his son rather than just keep trying to screw with my head. Funnily enough, child maintanence did not arrive last month in my account either. Just as well my DS has a Mum that loves him and is able to provide for him eh?

ben500

Who started this bunny boiler procession then?

Elle00

ben500 wrote: »

Who started this bunny boiler procession then?

You don't actually know what a bunny boiler is do you? :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Look it up, I'm the exact opposite.

bucksliz

I have decided to let this rest until after the summer holidays. I have written to ex to tell him which days we will be away during the hols (I work in a school and therefore get 6 weeks off too!) and have TOLD him that he will have our children to stay every other weekend from September, he just needs to let me know which weekend he wants this to start.

I am sorry that I have started a thread which has caused arguments and controversy, I just knew there would be like-minded people out there who would listen (read!)