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Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People
Comments
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neverdespairgirl wrote: »The place confusion does happen to people of all ages, particularly if they are more familiar with one than the other being mentioned. When I was a pupil, I was advised to take great care ensuring I went to the right one of Clerkenwell / Camberwell, or Brentford / Brentwood, for example.
Of course. But with dementia it's different. Suppose you had told somebody that your friend from Hertford was coming to visit you in London.
Normal person: That's a long way to come just for the day, isn't it? It's almost into Wales.
You: No, you're thinking of Hereford. My friend is from Hertford.
Normal person: Oh, yes, of course. That's not very far at all, then.
Person with dementia: That's a long way to come just for the day, isn't it? It's almost into Wales.
You: No, you're thinking of Hereford. My friend is from Hertford.
Person with dementia: Yes, but why are they coming such a long distance? And the M4 can have very heavy traffic sometimes.lostinrates wrote: »I'm rather concerned you think I sound saintly over it. It means I'm not giving fair representation at all. Frankly I think I'm being fairly vile at times.
Most of us wouldn't agree to have a parent living with us even if they weren't suffering from the problems that RP has, and if we did find ourselves in that situation, we'd be tearing our hair out in response to much lesser frustrations than you are describing. You are still giving your hospitality to RP despite everything. This is saintly. To do it without having angry, frustrated, helpless, end-of-tether feelings wouldn't be saintly, it would be insanity.neverdespairgirl wrote: »LIR, anyone would be vile sometimes! All that leaving cupboards open, leaving gas burners on, would drive anyone up the wall.
My darling Mama said something which really helped when Isaac was a baby, and was screaming 24 hours a day because of as-yet-undiagnosed reflux. It was absolutely insanely impossible to deal with. She said that sometimes being a good mother meant managing not to chuck the baby out of the nearest window.
She's right; and sounds like dealing with RP is sometimes similar.
What NDG said.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
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lostinrates wrote: »Its n.o.t. M.y. R.e.m.i.t.. If it were a sub 18 child or a pet it would be. I find boundaries hard and also find it difficult that RP buys products I find ethically difficult (and then taunts me with them ) but its a free world and I'm using that as my mantra a lot ATM. Because I want that right too.
Well, yes and no. It's a free world and RP is an adult. RP should therefore have the freedom to spend their own money as they see fit and buy things according to their own ethics not yours. However, if RP wants to live in your house, then taunting you with the purchases is not acceptable. You say you want the same rights as NP, but when you visited me I didn't see any sign of your wanting the right to be rude, ungrateful or inconsiderate to me in my home.
Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
I may have dropped a ball at work. I got appraisal feedback from one of my direct reports this morning which said "I only realised that chewmylegoff was my manager when I was asked to fill this appraisal feedback in". To be fair, he has only been here 6 weeks and I've been on holiday for three of them, but still...0
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Well, yes and no. It's a free world and RP is an adult. RP should therefore have the freedom to spend their own money as they see fit and buy things according to their own ethics not yours. However, if RP wants to live in your house, then taunting you with the purchases is not acceptable. You say you want the same rights as NP, but when you visited me I didn't see any sign of your wanting the right to be rude, ungrateful or inconsiderate to me in my home.
I suect , frankly, its good for me to have my head pulled out of my posterior over such things as mr kilplings pies. I don't have to eat them after all.
I'll also say that I think living with so done who is misophonic is diffucult. I dislike being in the room when RP is eating and I think that's difficult for both of us. I manage to control my misophonia in ALL social situations. but for some reason i find the noise of my family, particularly my parents, the hardest to deal with. i am sure this is inpatience rather than true misophonia or anything else, but rather sheer intolerance. I have on occasion stood from the kitchen table and taken my plate to the dinning room barely excusing myself or vice versa. RP cannot help it because of the sinus problems but I find myself saying with intolerance....' Have you tried taking smaller mouthfuls?' Which is shocking ly rude of me.
:o.
I know RP used to find some noice and habits difficult too, so the plus side is mispphonia might be something one day you DO grow out of!0 -
On completely unrelated news I've finally got round to joining the donor register.
It's actually easily done online from http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/how_to_become_a_donor/ .
10 years ago, facing an emergency op, I offered my organs (should I no longer require them) to the Junior Doctor who was getting my consent to the procedure. He responded scornfully that they would not be of a good quality for transplant. I got into a negotiation, eventually persuading him my corneas might be of use.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »The place confusion does happen to people of all ages, particularly if they are more familiar with one than the other being mentioned.
Not making light of the difficulties of NPs, but this reminds me of the tale a couple of years ago when some female celebrity or pop star got into a taxi in N London and asked for Stamford Bridge.
Taxi driver plugs details into satnav, and off they set.
Four hours later they reach their destination. Yep, Stamford Bridge N Yorks, not Stamford Bridge the Chelsea FC stadium. You do wonder why the passenger didn't ask sooner why it was taking so long to get to the football ... :cool:0 -
:rotfl:chewmylegoff wrote: »I may have dropped a ball at work. I got appraisal feedback from one of my direct reports this morning which said "I only realised that chewmylegoff was my manager when I was asked to fill this appraisal feedback in". To be fair, he has only been here 6 weeks and I've been on holiday for three of them, but still...
Were you not involved in his appointment?
Over half our staff do not think their appraisal helps them, and a third of them said it leaves them feeling their work has no value.
I had my appraisal today, I agree with the first statement, but not the latter.
Top qualities in my 360degree feedback...Courage, critical thinking. You see them in overdrive though. Not pretty.0 -
Not making light of the difficulties of NPs, but this reminds me of the tale a couple of years ago when some female celebrity or pop star got into a taxi in N London and asked for Stamford Bridge.
Taxi driver plugs details into satnav, and off they set.
Four hours later they reach their destination. Yep, Stamford Bridge N Yorks, not Stamford Bridge the Chelsea FC stadium. You do wonder why the passenger didn't ask sooner why it was taking so long to get to the football ... :cool:
That reminds me of the story from the 70s of the American who tried to take a taxi cab to the Tutankhamun exhibition and ended up in Tooting Common.Please stay safe in the sun and learn the A-E of melanoma: A = asymmetry, B = irregular borders, C= different colours, D= diameter, larger than 6mm, E = evolving, is your mole changing? Most moles are not cancerous, any doubts, please check next time you visit your GP.
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Difficult reading some recent posts. It must be hard being with people with alz and I want to offer support. It must be like a pressure cooker. I also want empathy for the victims of this, it is not their choice. I would worry they are vulnerable, and that the hardships of caring for them could bring out the bully in any of us.
There is not much inspection that looks for elder abuse (emotional/financial/rough handling) that goes on in private homes rather than in care homes. I hope I find my way into a home before it is too much of burden for my loved ones.0 -
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