'Same sex"' betrayal - diff to opposite sex or not?

lillie_put

I can not of think of anything to help you or that would take the hurt and pain you are feeling away for you
I really wish I could
I am so sorry you are going through all of this
sending you (((((((((( big HUGS ))))))))))
here if you want to chat xxxxx

paulineb_2

Do you want to stay with him, I'll go back and look at your first post because something I read made me have a few thoughts.

paulineb_2

This

Several weeks ago I found out he had met another man from an iPhone application. He met him and did sexual things with him on various occasions. I can't understand it. He says "men are easier thsn women, you can lead the conversation into a sexual manner without the flowers and wine" (his words not mine)


You have a 4 kids, the youngest being 1 years old.

Good grief. My first thought is run for the hills and dont look back

Second and third, same.

Goldiegirl

paulineb wrote: »

This

Several weeks ago I found out he had met another man from an iPhone application. He met him and did sexual things with him on various occasions. I can't understand it. He says "men are easier thsn women, you can lead the conversation into a sexual manner without the flowers and wine" (his words not mine)


You have a 4 kids, the youngest being 1 years old.

Good grief. My first thought is run for the hills and dont look back

Second and third, same.

Yes, agreed.


It was the comment "men are easier thsn women, you can lead the conversation into a sexual manner without the flowers and wine"


This guy just wants to get his thrills as easily as possible and it probably doesn't matter who is supplying the thrill, as long as he gets his rocks off. He apparently doesn't care who he uses for this purpose


I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a person who had this attitude.


I don't think the sex of the people he uses is the issue, I think his attitude stinks

AndyPK

On the plus side it just sounds like sex. I assume he hasn't said he loves the man.

Maybe you don't have sex enough? Or maybe he likes men.

paulineb_2

Not having sex enough isnt a good enough excuse to go off shagging someone else.

Maybe he does like men, but if he does, he should come clean and leave his wife to get on with her life and find someone else who wont cheat on her.

dancingfairy

I think you both need to do some deep soul searching. He needs to decide what he wants -does he want to be married to you and faithful or not?
You need to decide whether you think you can forgive him.
I think you might benefit from some counselling both together, but also more importantly for you. You need to decide what you want and get your thoughts in order. You sound very beaten down (understandably) and some time to talk it through might help you see the wood for the trees.
No one on here can tell you what to do. Some relationships can recover from cheating, others can't.
df

dandelionclock30

This is the first time hes been caught, not the first time hes done it.
I dont know any gay or bi men who are faithfull to women, sorry I just dont. It might be theoretically possible, but in reality I very much doubt it.
I think he shown you what he wants and thats to go with men. If you think he will now be faithfull to you for everymore then thats delusional.

busiscoming2

Cheating is cheating regardless of the gender of the other person.

I actually think it is sad that he has never been able to confide in you his need for male company and I say that without intending to blame you in any way OP.

I think you have to sit down and have a frank discussion with him about his sexuality and only then will you know the full story and begin to make a decision as to whether you want to try again or part company.

pollypenny

To be blunt, the guy sounds like a creep!

OP, you have a baby and he's behaving like that! No better than a rutting goat.