Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

liltdiddylilt

Yes we should. So many people jumped on certain bandwagons and then did not even bother to donate to the cause it was championing this year.

Thanks for thinking I am a lovely person. I think I try to be but come up far shorter than others. And to clarify my post in case anyone is thinking anything. I have absolutely no problem with people who have a genuine need for benefits. People whose circumstances beyond their control have landed them in that unfortunate yet very fortunate I suppose in a way, position more than deserve everything they get and so much more. It just gets on my nerves when I am one of only 3 people in a building of 19 flats that goes out to work. And the collective in the building just complain and smoke and drink and buy furniture I cannot afford. Lets not go there. I just meant to say I don't tar everyone with the same brush!]

And boo hiss indeed to HMRC. I have to ring their payments line and give over my bank details for them to take the money. Sigh. NPower better hurry up and pay me back is all I can say!

Hugs guys. Am off to eat rice pudding, and watch people earn an extortionate amount of money for either kicking a ball around, or reporting on said ball kicking. The world is a mad place.

giblet1979

Awww Lilty - your post near breaks my heart. You ARE such a lovely person; that shines through on your diary. You work hard, have a lovely daughter, and experience difficulties that you don't deserve. There is a lot of sadness in our world, but there is no need to feel guilty when you keep those less fortunate in your heart, but try to make such a good life for your family (with very little help....Grrr...just caught up with HIM and the phone incident while reading back on what I've missed).
Hopefully it's helpful to share on here, but please don't feel bad or sad about such things, and know we all love you, plus you NEED a new laptop when you can, as how else can we all keep in touch. It's a public service on your part really
Apologies if I've written gibberish (ha...no pun intended...that explains it!)

Gib x

apple_muncher

I echo what everyone has written so eloquently, and am sending you lots of hugs.

I'm so fortunate not to have ever needed to claim benefits and therefore deal with the system. And like you, I just cannot watch Remenerance events - they make me howl like a baby over the stupidity of war and the consequences of it, and the pointless loss of life. And how I can do nothing about it all.

So I shall be donating to foodbanks - probably via CAP - as I am aware I have so much and am so blessed.

Take care Lilty - you've a lot on your newly-straightened shoulders.

xx

supersaver1000

Oh Lilty, poor you, sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. You are such a tower of strength to everyone - on here and in real life. You are doing so well and coping with a little un, your visit home and working too. Sometimes it all feels a little bit too much, but I hope you've had a good nights rest and feel a little stronger today.

It is so not fair that there are children hungry, cold and unhappy when there is so much in this world. I'd like to take all the children and wrap them up, feed them and love them, but we can't, we can only do our best for our family and then extend that when we can. But d'you know I always think the little things will somehow become big things. You know DD has her job now in a shop and she was telling me about rude people that come in and don't respond when she says hello and how it makes her and the others feel, but then she says how good it feels when someone takes the time to ask how they are or talks to them. A bit of kindness costs nothing does it and can be passed on quite easily and that good feeling radiates, so it becomes more than our single act.

I'm waffling now, but I hope you feel better today. You've done quite a lot lately too, I always feel a bit down after a trip up north to the family, can't explain it. I just want to corale my whole family and look after them too. Hope you can take it easy today and take good care of Lilty for a change. It looks like its going to be a sunny one here - put your wellies on and go puddle splashing or something like that.

Take care, catch up later. SS1K

Eager_Elephant

Re HMRC - each time you ring to report a change you get a new award notice. If you check each award notice that was sent after you reported something this will tell you whether they think you may have an Overpayment at the end of the year. It should be on the award notice before they list the payments due to you.


Sometimes I think the helpline don't have a clue and just say the minimum they can get away with - hence blaming it all on you for reporting changes. I can't see how an increase of £30pm would give you an OP unless they input it from the beginning of the financial year (and you only told them 6mths in) - you can earn an extra £2500 before it affects your Tax Credits.


Have a look at the award notices and shout if you want any help with them.


I am sorry you are feeling down in the dumps - life isn't fair sometimes and as you say if you don't watch the news you don't know it's going on.


I actually work with people in dire straits and have to assess for food parcels and fuel vouchers - it is really interesting and unfortunately some people needing food parcels are the cause of their own problems.
I recently had this discussion with MiT - Trussell Trust ( one of the biggest food bank organisations in the country) are going to give out debt/budgeting advice to people who need food parcels. In Suffolk we already do this, most of the people who need food parcels have had some kind of problem either with benefits, banks or creditors. if we did not sort the underlying issue then they would be back time and time again for help. Most of the time people don't realise where they can go for help and so have struggled on for months, sometimes years and then they pluck up the courage to approach us for a food parcel (I do mean pluck up the courage, a lot of people are genuinely humiliated by having to ask for help) but sometimes that crisis is what is needed to bring them to the attention of agencies like us who can help them.


I know you have your daughter but wondered if you could volunteer for a local advice agency for a few hours a week (there are CAB's everywhere but not everyone wants to volunteer there, there are usually others) so you can share your wisdom on budgeting etc.

Newme2014

Hi, I've just spent several days reading through your diary, wow, you've been through so much but seem so positive about it all.

The only thing I can add is if you haven't found one already, Mr T does a dairy free advent calendar and Mr A had a Santa Sack of chocolate, it had a few bars, a couple of packs of buttons and 3 yummy caramel cup type things that are lush!! They also had a dark chocolate Santa, that was hiding in with the 'normal' people chocolate though not the free from section.

liltdiddylilt

Hello NewMe! Welcome, and wow. I never cease to be amazed by the people that take the time to sit and read my utter gibletish (love you Gib!). Thanks for the heads up on the advent calendars. Mum had already ordered a Moo Free one unbeknownst to me so I am very happy. There have been some others appearing in the supermarkets near here, unfortunately Mr T is a fair way away on foot so I tend to go to the other supermarkets more. Tell me more about you. A new you for 2014? I have had a new me all year and it has worked wonders for me. I am a tough old bird. So I hope your new you will bring you positivity in spades!

EE thanks so much for your post. I have checked and triple checked the awards which I so painstakingly went through complete with my calendar and pen and paper. I was most definitely not told. According to the chap on the phone, it was calculated in August 2014. I have no idea why they would do that when he said it is according to the changes I told them about. I am not disputing it, just as I am not handing over the responsibility for half of it to Him. Half of it would wipe out a months earnings for him. I am sure they have calculated it correctly. It is just a bit of a downer to be hit with it just before Christmas when I am finally starting to get some kind of savings fund built. Never mind. I could still be in debt and for that i am grateful

It is a really great idea to volunteer, and next year I am going to slot some time in, once Him & I figure out what is happening with our living arrangements. There is a Trussel Trust food bank in the nearest village to my town, about 5 miles away which is both nice and sad at once.

Gib, Lucky, Apple & SS you are all so very sweet. I appreciate your words. I am feeling a bit less 'fragile' shall we say. Anyone who has read through my diary will see a recurrent theme. Every now and again I get a bit wobbly. Don't we all? Anyways, wobble put back in its box. I will have around £400 left in the emergency fund by the time the tax credits payment has been made. That is after my £100 Christmas food budget, Insurance for the year, £60 of my leftover Christmas budget and £60 for Jellys shoes has gone. So I am feeling a bit better about it. £400 in the clear is a good way to start 2015. If I can somehow scrape it to £500 and still have a cracking Christmas dinner I will be very happy indeed.

Speaking of Christmas dinner. I have already started planning the meal. Roast leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, honey glazed roast parsnips & carrots, peas, baby sweetcorn, broccoli, creamed leeks & finally a dish of savoy cabbage with brussel sprouts and bacon lardons. All cooked from scratch by my own fair hand. I have cooked a turkey once. It left me cold. I have had turkey every year of my life and never really enjoyed it. So I make Christmas about the one meat that I truly love, and rarely splash out on There will be a joint of roast pork, and a home cooked gammon ham for boxing day with the leftover lamb, but basically boxing day is cold cuts and bits and bobs and leftovers last for a week of curries, sandwiches and other treats I love planning Christmas!

What is new in my world? I dodged the thunderstorms and torrential showers to drop Jelly off, spend £77 in Lidl, and move my living room around including moving the desk and the tv on the chimney breast in my living room and drilling holes in the wall and putting the whole thing together in a corner as far away from my 'living' area, namely sofa, coffee table and the normal tv and tv unit as it could get. The living room is 25+ feet long and about 16 wide so basically the tv's are now on opposite walls in opposing corners and on the nights when Him is here I may be able to get enough peace to hear the tv. He will have a shock when he comes on Weds. I asked his dad, who came around with his drill and helped me to put it up, not to tell him. Now I am sitting in the sparkling clean room, enjoying the light bouncing in different ways and the huge space that has opened up where the desk and chair used to take up so much!

Back to Lidl. £77 included £6 of gingerbread, various household bits, and a restock of the huge volumes of yoghurt and nuts and fruit that apparently keep a bodybuilder going. Him will refund me for those. Bought shedloads of meat. 1kg of lean minced beef, chorizo sausage, 1.2kg diced lean braising steak, 2kg chicken breasts (at £5.89 a kilo would you believe?!?! ) - so that explains a big portion of the rest. I also restocked various low supplies, such as the all important biscuits and chocolate. AND bought nappies from there for the first time. Jelly still has zero interest in befriending the potty, but the £14 for a box of 84 pampers is killing me. So I bit the bullet and they are fab! £9.38 for a hundred. Much easier to swallow. (N.B I do not recommend swallowing nappies)

Right. Next on the list is... Clarks shoes *faints*. A frenemies daughter is now undergoing treatment for an extremely bad ingrowing toenail. Said child is a month younger than Jelly and has always had the latest skechers, converse, swarovski covered vans, Next boots in varying colours at £40 a pair. I resisted the pull of the pretties and sensibly stuck to what I knew to be best suited to small growing feet. However, tonight, I find that my £70 budget for a pair of toddlers trainers and a pair of winter boots is not even close to sufficient. In fact that only just covers the boots. Add another £30ish for the trainers. Thankfully, my mum has somewhat morbidly insisted that she will not be around forever so to let her and my dad buy the boots. Love my parents. So helpful especially with the squeeze on my finances this month. They are being delivered to the store nearest me in the next few days

Jelly has been a naughty little monster recently, and the *ahem* reflection area in the corner of the living room is getting some serious traffic. Apparently nursery struggled with her today too. She seems to have come out of her growth spurt now, and is no longer sleeping for 16 hours a day.

Right, off I go to explain my latest spending spree to YNAB. Thanks for putting up with me peeps. xx

supersaver1000

Christmas dinner sounds wonderful. I'll be there about 1 :rotfl:

Glad your fug has lifted. You have lifted me from mine many a time :j

I bought some of the iced ginger bread from Lidls. They are delish, I like the chocolate ones best.

Don't worry, shoes get cheaper and last longer. DD is in Kickers now and although they are about £60 they last a while longer.

Hee hee. The naughty monster jelly :rotfl: bet you're being kept busy. Poor Lilty - but before you know it she'll be a teenager, believe me, I'm making the most of the last months of childhood. Goes by. A flash. :T

Newme2014

Hi, thanks for the warm welcome. I had a profile on here a few years back but wanted to start fresh as I'm not the same person I was back then. And I'm trying to buy my first property so just figured it was a good time to be a new me.
I only found out I had a problem with dairy a few months ago and I'm still getting the hang of it, I'm good at sniffing out the chocolate though!
Your Xmas dinner sounds lush, apart from the Brussels, I try them every few years but just can't get the taste for them, even with bacon, and bacon makes everything better!

liltdiddylilt

SS you know you're always welcome! I would make Christmas dinner on any day for you just bring some tarka dhal for boxing day you were a huge lift for me, each time I have had a wee fug, so I can't thank you (and the others on here) enough.

Saw this: and it really brought it home to me that I should be so grateful for what I have, and stop comparing to people who matter nothing to me, or my sense of wellbeing.

NewMe echoing my own words there at the start of my diary. Sometimes we all need to start afresh. Circumstances and people change. Embrace the new you and huge congratulations on the 'trying to buy' - I can't wait for the 'have bought!'

Goodness, another one intolerant to dairy. Jelly and I were both allergic from birth so I knew precisely what I was dealing with when she started projectile vomiting formula. Luckily things have moved on a huge amount in the last 30 years and she had a lot more options than I did have you tested the Lacto-free stuff? Unfortunately mine is a household allergic to the PROTEIN in dairy, which means no matter how you remove the sugars (Lactose) then you still have plenty of problems. I ignore it for the most part for me, but follow it to the letter with Jelly, as she proves daily that the tiniest amount of dairy can have her rocking in a corner in pain in seconds. Very sad.

I am one of those weird types who actually has no problem whatsoever with Brussels. My only issue is if they are overcooked and water, and then I have a problem with any veg! The only veg I don't eat is purple sprouting broccoli. I can't get on with it.

Soooo... £86 'spent' on Clarks. Mum is giving me £60 of that back for the boots bless her, which leaves me with £40ish in my budget for the next pair necessary. Considering the only pair of vaguely winterproof trainers were £26 and bright white... :eek: I expect a new pair will be required in January.

Am just batch cooking a mega chicken korma from scratch. Had one of those Lidl 'Korma' spice pots, where you spoon in a bit with some greek yogurt and marinade the meat for a while, then add more to cook gently with some onion, and finally add in the marinaded meat, seal it, and add single cream (or in my house coconut cream) and water. Have also put some chopped almonds in. Better taste nice as it smells amazing!

Today have done nothing much but take jelly, come home and tidy a bit, and watch a UFC, then sat on my laptop doing some budgeting and reading diaries. Dinner, a shower, and then more of the same before bed I think. Jelly went to bed almost an hour ago. Tired little bean but she has been much less of a monster today.

Hope everyone is ok. I am currently looking at reworking my budgets to incorporate enough cash for all the things I need to pay next year. I've got to find £67 a month to save which includes all annual bills, birthdays and christmas. Technically the two bills that I have dropped or finished paying should cover it. £44.27 was my DFS sofa, finished in October. I never counted it as a debt as it would have cost me the same if I had paid upfront or used the 3 years to pay. Seemed like a more sensible idea to pay monthly and get the credit history boost from it. £19 dropped on the gas and electric. Leaves me £4 to find which is totally do-able, but you know when you can't quite find the money you're no longer paying?!? I don't seem to have any left over. Maybe that is just this months increased costs.

Working towards January in my head finance-wise, although I am desperately excited for Christmas so not wishing that away!! Want to have a fresh start as such in January when my regular saver kicks out the £3600 I've paid in plus interest. Hopefully I will have another £500 minimum to add to that. Wish me luck!

Who has a NY resolution lined up? Financial? Love? Personal? I've got so many. I just need to scrub myself clean of this year. xx