Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

Hopefuljoy

Hello Lilty and friends, my abject apologies for being away the last couple of days. I've been reading your posts and trying to think of sensible things to say but it's all escaped me until now.

Everyone has given such sound advice and as a former human resources person I agree with everything they've said. The process Levi and Billie described is exactly the one I did last year. It worked!!

I don't think I can usefully add any more, the whole thing is just so sad and complicated and it seems lots is happening to create a perfect storm of stress for you. I'm so relieved that Him is being kind and supportive to you and that you and Jelly are enjoying each other sooooooooooo much!!

Your family seems so important to you and I really am sad that things for your Mum are not going as you hoped. I hope and pray for good news for you and strength for her. Words fail me at how challenging life can be sometimes.

You and all my thread chums have created such special communities and I get very down when things don't go right for such wonderful people as you. I get so much support and strength from the MSE band of brothers and sisters and wish I could wave magic wands all over the place to make all your lives perfect. Until the time I can lots of love to you all. Xxx

HarrysMummy

Well I've not had chance to catch up with diaries for a few days so just had a read through. So sorry you're having a bad time, I can't really add anything useful other than what has already been said so just try and keep your chin up.

I really do genuinely hope it all improves for you and very very soon at that, Big hugs

October_Starter

Lilty..

Honestly.. Nothing shows this forum better than these diaries. The love and support from everyone for each other has me tearing up endlessly.

I know you have been have some hard times lately. I am so so glad things are being worked through and you have so much support. You are well loved here at MSE and I am sure every one of us would happily stand behind you to fight these people who cause you upset.

You have a lot of strength my dear dear friend and you must remember that you do not need to be strong alone as we are all here to support you.

I hope today is filled with joy and that everything goes smoothly.

October xx

Levi-

Where are you LILLLLLY?
missing you x

pennywisepoundstupid

Hi Lilty.

Sorry I havn't posted for a few, I'm sorry to hear about how much you have on your plate and all the carp that is going on, If you need a chat PM me and I will try to help anyway I can.

Sending hugs and your in my thoughts.x.

NoOneAround

Lilty. I am so sorry that you have so much awful stuff going on at the moment. I hope it has helped you having shared it. So much wonderful support on here, and not much more that I can add that hasn't already been said. It's not fair that you have so much to deal with and through it all your positivity and strength of spirit shines through. You are one of those people who buoys everyone else up and hides when you need support yourself. Sending out you little sunbeams of brightness from behind your own storm clouds.
My heart goes out to you -everything going on with your grandparents, and your mum. I am really sorry the chemo isn't going well, and hope with all my heart that things improve/stabilize very soon. How hard it must be for her, to deal with not only her own health issues but to see your grandparents suffering too. I know the emotional rollercoaster your feelings must be going through. The last thing you needed at the moment was all the awful stuff going on at work, and for your other personal issues to have resurfaced at this time.
Wish I could do something more to help, but can only offer support and send love and hugs and as many balloons or life buoys as you need. Haven't known you very long in MSE terms, but feels like have known you forever. Lovely to read the positive things you have been doing for yourself to help YOU. Your health and well being has to be given highest priority.
Sending you lots of positive and happy thoughts Lilty :A
You will always find that Jelly will be the antidote to all fears and sadness
lots and lots of love and hugs
xxxxxxxxxx
NOA

liltdiddylilt

NOA you got me... I do tend to hide when stuff is getting to me. I am not sure hiding is the word so much as SLEEPING. I never fail to amaze myself at my ability to sleep off every bad thing. As such, I have worked/been out of the house for work from 8-6 without a break Weds-Fri and once I have got in, seen Jelly for 10 minutes before bed and eaten my dinner.. I have promptly gone to sleep! And woken the next day to do it all over again.

Sorry to worry you all. Work colleague who is a bother gave me a cupcake for her dogs birthday on Weds... :huh: and was fairly innocuous on Thursday but I have learned that the angry scowl/leave me alone colleague is the one who sends vicious emails about me to my boss so I just kept my head down and left her to scowl. Friday she wasn't there :j:j

Work itself was the main bother. How to fit 5 days of work into 3 days is always the challenge. This week that coincided with a seemingly normal enquiry from a client who rather loves me these days after a VERY spiky start due to many !!!! ups from people who have managed the group before me... I have managed almost a year dealing with her and she sends me best wishes for weekends/Christmas etc, calls herself nicknames, and just generally has de-iced herself over the last 12 months.. enquiry was replied to, and another one came forth which was still in a lovely tone and yet.. setting me (or rather the company) up for a giant fall. It related to things which had happened way before me, but I fired a warning shot to my boss, who rang me to discuss at length and I proceeded to spend half a day building a fort from post it notes and past documents/meeting notes - eventually my fort became a bulletproof timeline disputing the issue that she had not yet raised but was going to. I sent a very professional email detailing the finer points of conversations, dates, emails... and she has gone silent. I think this is a very bad thing so have been worrying myself stupid. The stress of managing something that is so way above my pay cheque. It matters not that I can do it and have proved it to myself and everyone else over the last 12 months... it isn't fair to lump that pressure on me!

Anyways...

I spent the day from 6:30am until 7:30pmish cleaning. I mean bottoming out cupboards and getting rid of 3 bin liners of stuff, scrubbing doors, frames, fridges and windows. Vacuuming and vacuuming again, moving all of the furniture in Jellys room, putting up some decorations and picture frames I have been meaning to for ages.. and so on! I got my bedding stripped, washed, dried, ironed and back on the bed. Same for Jelly. 3 loads of washing done in total. I scrubbed the microwave until it gleams.. And I discovered that my OCD means that when I walk into the kitchen.. I can see the WASHING MACHINE shining. I didn't polish it... but I did scrub it big time, then clean it off with a de-ionising cream. :rotfl:

Jelly has been... a nightmare. She is pushing it to the point of breaking and then pushing it a bit more. I mean that where she used to immediately do as asked as soon as I mentioned a countdown.. she now does said thing in slow-mo, pausing for the next number in the count to three, with a cheeky knowing smile. We have had many tantrums. She has been refusing to go to bed, and getting out countless times. And getting up at 4am and turning her bedroom light on and playing. So I have moved bedtime, moved her bedroom around so she can no longer get to the light switch... and disciplined like a pro with naughty step action to the maximum. She went to bed without even being asked tonight. And just piped up from bed 'Can I have a bottle please mummy?' :rotfl: touch wood we will get back to good Jelly again soon.

In terms of spending... there has been none since my last post really. Him put a hefty lump towards my mums fund raiser from himself & Jellytot, as she had her head shaved today. She has got a lovely shaped head actually and really rocks the look, but she has taken a bit of a battering recently, with her head being so sore, pulling her hair out in clumps.. He wanted to cheer her up. Very sweet.

Tomorrow I need to get up and get out in the morning with Jelly (:() to the supermarkets and get a huge shopping list of stuff. Friends coming for a few days tomorrow with their new baby and I need to actually have some food in!!

Hope you are all doing ok. Please know I have read and am touched by each of your posts. I am very very lucky to have you all here xxx

Levi-

:T So happy to see an update from you - as you well know, we miss ya bucketloads when you aren't here even for a few days but I get that you're one of those people that needs to "hide" sometimes and that is totally understandable! I do that a lot "IRL" ~going off the radar~ but on here not so much haha.

Work sounds like an absolute mare - both with the pest of a colleague and the situation you found yourself in which you quite rightly point out, is way way above what you are being paid for. It sounds like you have navigated through it professionally and competently (as if you'd be anything else ) but it would have taken its toll on you emotionally and burned you out with worry if nothing else. It's exactly the kind of thing I'd worry myself sick about even when not being paid too.. I had a similar thing once that kicked off one day that I found myself in the centre of, spent the next few days and nights convincing myself it would lead to me being dismissed (:o) and in the end it was a storm in a teacup that I needn't have worried that much at all about - so I hope yours resolves in a similar fashion - but if it does escalate, I am sure you will not be left to carry the can on any fall out and neither should you.

If you ever fancy popping round my flat please do feel free, my kitchen is crying out for an OCD-wizard all over it! I did a bit today but I seem to make slow progress, clean the floors, hoover and polish, do some laundry, iron and fold - by the time I have finished, its time to do the whole lot again. :rotfl:


Sorry to hear Jellytot is having her terrible2's at full throttle. :eek:
It's so exhausting and frustrating, still have those days where LL can push me to the brink even now he is 4.. the bedtime thing is such a drain--LL still has the in and out of bed sessions, well in to the early hours sometimes. They are unstoppable, these little monkeys. You seem to have made the right moves by physically preventing some of the behaviour such as the light switch & sounds like good work with the consistent discipline with the naughty step.. I use it too, four minutes, and have become a lot better at making him stay for the whole time and if he leaves it re-sets the clock back to zero.. I used to be a lot softer but it doesn't pay off, especially when you make a rod for your own back as main caregiver.
I am sure she will get back to her sweet loveliness soon - maybe she has been detecting your stress and tiredness so is acting up a little more. I'm sure it will pass.
:kisses3:.. Levi... xxxxxx
Wishing you well in all ways.

apple_muncher

Thank you for letting us know what's been going on. Sounds grim at work. Hope the sparkly kitchen stays that way - and after you finish Levi's, feel free to pop over here. Will make some dairy-free goodies...

You were up very late last night. Hope you slept well when you finally went to bed. xx

BILLIE

Lilty misunderstood about the cupcake to start with thought you had been given a 'dog's' cupcake knowing that you can buy these extradionary extras for pets!!!! And was beginning to think now that is really one to call ACAS about!!!����. Take special care of you both and here if you need me. My carpets were shampoo'd in lounge and hallway yesterday by a darling friend and now I just look at them in wonder. BTW I wasn't being lazy, she has a new machine and kept telling me that is what friends are for and I did offer to pay her but again she repeated her mantra! Xxxx