Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

please-let-me-be-lucky

What a lovely thing to say :A. My Grandma always says, if we all got together and threw our problems in the air, we'd be happy to catch our own! I think your plate sounds more full than mine at the moment! Xx

liltdiddylilt

I thought I should add... on the work front. There is sadly no 'higher' as the boss I work with so much, and have such a fab relationship with even if she is a bit of a pants manager sometimes, has the title 'Director'. As does my other boss. Joint company owners... So going higher would involve some kind of professional body I suppose.

stepup lovely to meet you too! Ellie is a fab name whatever it lengthens to I am going to note everything. It just feels so petty although I know it is protection. Then if she files, I will counter-file for harassment, with evidence. Harassment beats 'noise' any day apparently!

And Levi :eek: to the tongue!! Jelly has picked up a nasty habit of biting her hand/forearm in a tantrum. We are quirky, unique, one of a kind, special

Right. On that note, I was meant to be in bed 7 minutes ago, as my 15 minutes today was taking my tablets and getting myself in bed 15 minutes before 10pm. Otherwise I don't get to sleep till after 11:30. Go figure how that makes 15 minutes, but 10 is the time I should go to bed and don't manage

Night all. Sleep tight, and thanks again for reading my gibberish, supporting me, and being utterly excellent.

I do love you all. xx

maddiemay

Hello dear Lilt, great to see you back posting, but so sorry for all the stuff that you are having to deal with. Lots of wonderful positives you have saved up for us too, well done.

Loving all your names, Maddiemay is the pretty furry one pictured in my avatar, I am Ali, formally Alison.

I hope that you have a great night's sleep, take care.

sashybo

Ah Lilt, you're dealing with so much and yet are still staying positive. Sending you my love and just a wee bit of extra strength. :kisses3:

So sorry to hear about work, nothing worse than dreading going to work every day.

I had a job that I used to dread going to once, every night I would feel sick at the thought of going again. I used to cry in the toilets every day at work and force myself to go back to my desk. I used to tell myself that I only had to last until lunch/tea break/home time every day.

Until I couldn't do it anymore. I was terrified that my depression was coming back and I couldn't face it again. I went to the doctor and was signed off with stress for months. I ended up leaving & was unemployed for about 3/4 months rather than go back to that job. It was the kind of place where people just got up and walked out and you never saw them again because they'd just had enough of the place.

I know that won't be you though, you have a lot more guts than me and you enjoy your job apart from this nasty, jealous person who is trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. You're more than a match for her, please try not to let her upset you. I know it's easier said than done.

I'm so glad Him has bucked up his ideas recently and that you are having lots of fun with your pretty wee Jelly.:j

BILLIE

Hi Lilty, WOW two fantastic posts by you and loads of support and advice from others that I will not repeat. I have already explained to you a situation I was in and certainly will not allow previous experience to happen again. Most bosses do not like to deal with issues that are confrontational. BUT you MUST think of you and Jelly of course.

So, as has been said keep a daily diary if needs be and if you are able make a list of past comments/events etc.

Go back to your boss and ask to see the Bullying Policy or Staff Handbook - she may be really nice most of the time, but she needs to know that this HAS to stop and your length of service and past performance counts for something. Also ask for all copies of the emails that have been sent relating you - you are entitled and if this other person takes out a Grievance they would be part of the evidence pack.

Explain to boss that at this stage you do not intend to take out a Grievance but will seek advice as you are being victimised. Then put a call into ACAS. You only need to ask to speak with someone for advice.

If this person has only been there a matter of months have they completed their probationary period?

Keep a file with anything work related in including previous appraisals and if you are a small operation where appraisals are not part of the personnel system, suggest to boos that they be.

I am fuming on your behalf - and another thing if it does go further remember you are allowed to take a representative in to a Hearing and ACAS will advise in that and may even be able to send someone. I would offer, but may not be able to keep my cool.

Must go and get showered - have been on here instead of getting out for my power walk!!

Chin up, as has already been said we are all here for you with hugs and support both in your personal life and work!! Xxxxxxxxx

in_need_of_direction

Just agreeing with what's been said but would add that if things get worse, make a data protection request for all info held about you by the firm. This should include emails. I still think that the only way to defend yourself is to push the brat into a corner. Either she makes a formal complaint that you can defend or she shuts up.

apple_muncher

Cheers for Him; mega boos for work; sticky out tongue with a huge ya boo hiss to 'colleague'. And of course, oodles of love and hugs to you Lilty and Jelly, and all of your family.

If you want to get away for a few days, you are always welcome here. But be warned - I also talk a lot in my sleep and sleepwalk, so we may bump into each other on the landing!!! Might be time to re-instate the stairgate...

Love ya girl xx

MagicCat

Lilt,
I know you'll deny it, but you really are such an amazing woman - despite everything you're going through, you always take the time to be so supportive and helpful to everyone on MSE, and I'm sure in your day to day life too.
I'm so sorry to hear about the bad stuff - with the things you can't talk about, it sounds like they've been hanging in the background for a good while, so I hope however hard it is you do get them sorted and finished once and for all - get good legal support and stay safe. Work sounds such a nightmare, being targeted in that way is so unjust but can really start to undermine your confidence. Excellent advice from Levi, Billie and others - I would support keeping a daily record of what happens, hopefully you won't need it, but if you do it's there.
I'm so sorry to hear things are bad for your mum, and your pop and nan aren't well. Chemo is such an awful process, thoughts and prayers are with you all.
So please things are going well with Him - you deserve someone who supports you and spoils you and it sounds like he is being that person.
Lastly, thank you for sharing your names. It an be such a personal thing - we share all sorts of things on MSE people in RL don't know, but often don't know those little details. I love Jelly's name, so nice to have Ellie for short (or 'for pretty' as my Nanna used to say about those of my cousins who had names that could shorten) and her full name is both strong and beautiful, just perfect for a little girl to grow up with.
Take care of yourself,
Ruthxx

Bobarella

Hi Lilt
I too think you are amazing. You sound like you have a mountain of crap to climb. But if I could make a bet on anyone scaling it, I'd bet on you.
I don't have anything super useful to add. I am so sorry about your family. There are no words really to comfort someone going through as much there as you are.
I'm seething about your colleague. I had a neighbour who was toxic like that and took her to court in the end and won. But it meant 2 years of diary keeping. Police at my door. And feeling like a prisoner in my own home. But I paid her back. I can only hope you get your situation sorted too.
I also know the fear you mention re losing your job. For the last 3 years since starting my own business I have worried from the moment I manage to pay my bills each month, how I will do the same next. When you have dependants it it not a nice feeling.
But Lilt, you are a very good person who does not deserve the darkness in your life. We know it. And I hope you do too.
Keep going, keep writing, keep on keeping on.
Bob

debtfreewannabe321

Oh lilt, I've just resurfaced and thought I should pop by, I'm so sorry to hear you've been down. You already know about my neighbour who caused me grief (and constantly threatened me physically and tried to get me arrested/evicted) bit like bobs....it's awful when you feel like that and can't see a way forward. I resolved my situation too but only because she moved on...not sure how I could have dealt with the bullying for much longer to be perfectly honest.
You can only take one day at a time though.... You are such a lovely person, just keep on being you and you will find a way through it.
Have you tried meditation? It does help and helps clear your mind (therefore all the headaches from stress lol if you are like me?!).


Big hugs to you and I hope you keep on getting it out of your system on here (on paper, anywhere....) as that in itself will help you xxx