A Singularly Lonely Christmas

Byatt

LavenderBees wrote: »

You know, I've been mulling this all afternoon, and if you don't mind me saying...;), yeah, I know, I'm going to say it anyway...but you have a choice here...

1. To continue to let this rude woman in the PO make you feel cr*p

2. Avoid her by going elsewhere

3. Tackle her about it...sometimes I don't let myself think. I just hear a voice, realise it's mine :eek:, and there, it's said. Of course, I have nae friends now :rotfl: No, but seriously, one day, go in, when she finally looks at you, keep your chin up, look her in the eye, and simply say very quietly "you're very rude". I bet she'd be so taken aback, that she wouldn't be able to respond.

Oh, and then run, just in case, I'm wrong....:rotfl:

Seriously, though, this woman sounds incredibly rude to you, you're worth better than that. And you've dealt with far worse than her. If you don't, I will..its always easier sticking up for someone else, after all.

xx

P.S. and on the subject of the gardening club :T. Just remember, you are only saying you're going once. That makes it manageable psychologically...I find.

Sorry for not responding sooner, but had a sleepless night last night, and feel a bit worse for wear!

I do avoid the village shop, which is a shame, so may, when I feel more assertive, make a comment, or just stand there myself and stare at her. :eek: Love the comment idea though.

Yes, I'm not marrying the garden club, so what's the worse can happen? :cool:

Talking of tradesmen, I had one electrician offer me his personal phone number, in case I "needed" anything.

A lovely garage man used to do my car, but then he got taken over and it's not the same anymore.

moneyistooshorttomention

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:...or have I just taken that comment the wrong way?

Brings a new meaning to "service with a smile".....I'll get my coat...

[Deleted User]

BYATT I think it must be the type of person who works in village post offices. We have a small post office here in the village in the One Stop shop and the two 'ladies' who work there do just the same thing and will ignore the fact that you and probably several other people are queuing waiting for service. They calmly and unhurriedly carry on until the thing they're doing is finished and then give you a very baleful look and say 'Yes' in that tone of voice, it makes me feel like a naughty school child being addressed by a teacher!!! They neither one interact with customers, have no humour and no warmth of spirit and seem to be on automatic pilot, so you're not alone with yours love!!! I whitter at them, one day I'll get a reaction either that or they'll ban me!!! Lyn xxx.

spirit

It is daunting when something goes wrong, or if you're like me, you fear something might go wrong. I too have had many a sleepless night with the what if syndrome.

what I have found over the past few years is that with each new hurdle that you manage to get over, you build that bit more confidence.

For instance, when I was married, I had no confidence or self-esteem (towards the end anyway) and no way would I have been able to make the simplest of decisions.

However, my first hurdle was to part ex my car for a nearly new one. I'd read up on how to do it but even so, it's quite scary. I managed it, probably didn't get the best deal I could have had maybe. I'm much better at it now.

For diy questions, like when I had my boiler problem, that wasn't a problem in the end, I went on to the forum called diynot. you get a lot of professionals on there from all trades who are happy to advise you.

moneyistooshorttomention

Experience of each "hurdle surmounted" certainly does help in my experience. When it comes to something big like (in my case) a decision to move across country and take on a house that needs renovating then that's a biggie. When it comes to biggies then I often remind myself of that phrase about "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time" every time I wonder just how big a project I have taken on to do such a Biggie as this and whether I have bitten off more than I can chew.

Then you get some small thing like a neighbour inviting you in for Christmas drinks and canap!s or a workman reminding you that he only lives nearby and you must ring him up any time if you are worried about anything like any troublemakers gathering round nearby. I don't think its at all likely that troublemakers will gather round in the vicinity of my house somehow:rotfl:...but its good to know that, if anything like that happened, I'd have a burly workman or two on the case if need be:). Has strong suspicion I'm starting to get deemed as having gone into Little Old Lady Territory these days:cool:...but there are advantages to that....:). You know you're getting older when they stop chatting you up and start acting "protective" instead...:rotfl:

Need2bthrifty

Sorry I haven’t been around much for a few days been having a few issues with my b/band connection - the cynic in me thinks because I refuse, via their constant phone calls, to go with the providers “Super Duper - extra fast, but more expensive and less perks package”, that they have scuppered my line - Wanders off muttering expletives while the whirly icon does its thing……..AGAIN!! :mad:

LavenderBees wrote: »

Why? Did you get NTBT to get rid of him properly, finally? :eek:

Sorry....couldn't resist. Working from home and VERY VERY BORED :rotfl:

Byatt wrote: »

Damn, I let slip...hurriedly rushes around house clearing up evid...uhhhmm, the mess. :eek::D

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Byatt, thought we had gotten away with that one.

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Another vote here for the getting fed-up with having to make every decision/deal with every crisis on my own:(.

I sit down and work out a variety of strategies to get them to take me seriously despite being a lone woman.:cool: (usually revolving around "Have Internet...can find out...ie how you are supposed to be doing something").

/QUOTE]

I’m like you, doing a wee bit of research before getting tradesmen in and find using the relevant terms with an air of confidence, confuses them somewhat

But I’m a great believer in first impressions and I'm getting pretty good at spotting a “cowboy” before he even opens his mouth - which usually starts with the drawn in breath, whilst shaking his head and the first word being “well……….” That’s when my cynical eyebrow goes up………sorry but it’s an automatic reflex now and I can’t stop it for love nor money :rotfl:

moneyistooshorttomention

One of my takes on picking a workman for the long term is if they also have their eye on the long-term. If there is some evidence showing that they are hoping for future work from you, then that makes them more likely to do things properly on the current job (ie because they have an eye out hoping for some more work from you in the future). If you know they are thinking about the job you have said you think you will be doing in a year or two time on the one hand and the job you will do whenever you can (if you don't know when you will be able to afford it yourself) then chances are they will try and do the Present Job properly and hope to go onto your mental list of "workmen I will likely use again".

One of my other ways of looking at it is that I DO want them to check back with me that we both are expecting the job to be done the same way. Beyond that...I don't mind if they come up with suggestions as to how to/what to use/etc and I make it plain they are welcome to make suggestions and I may or may not take them up on their suggestions as to just how to do things. On the job I am currently having done, for instance, he made a few suggestions as to how he thought it could be done better and I accepted most of them. Me...I like a dialogue going on as to "how to" and I've worked out that the Terms of Engagement from my pov are I will turn a blind ear to an absolute stream of 4 letter words coming from elsewhere in my house and strong hints its time for a drink to be made on the one hand provided they discuss clearly with me how they propose to do things and do make any suggestions as to how they think things could be improved on.

LavenderBees

MSE_Andrea wrote: »

Hi everyone

Here's an idea. As it's been so motivating for you all how about we change the thread title to what was suggested and keep it on OS?

Pink, if other thread users agree feel free to edit the title on this one.

Andrea

Hi All

It's not quite what we were discussing on the thread a few days ago, but I don't have any particularly strong objections to this. My only real concerns are 1. if anyone searches for lonely/Christmas or similar, will this thread come up to help support them? and 2. we can't really set out the focus or intention of the thread at the beginning, but maybe my sad first post does, in some way.

TBH, I'm too tired tonight to think whether point 2 really matters :rotfl:. No chance of a Friday night drinky to refresh my brain either as am still being good :A....:(

Unless anyone has any strong objections, shall we go with this? I'm happy if you all are :T

LavenderBees

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:...or have I just taken that comment the wrong way?

Brings a new meaning to "service with a smile".....I'll get my coat...

Ooh...shudders at imagining the slimy voice that offer was made in... :eek:

LavenderBees

spirit wrote: »

It is daunting when something goes wrong, or if you're like me, you fear something might go wrong. I too have had many a sleepless night with the what if syndrome.

what I have found over the past few years is that with each new hurdle that you manage to get over, you build that bit more confidence.

For instance, when I was married, I had no confidence or self-esteem (towards the end anyway) and no way would I have been able to make the simplest of decisions.

However, my first hurdle was to part ex my car for a nearly new one. I'd read up on how to do it but even so, it's quite scary. I managed it, probably didn't get the best deal I could have had maybe. I'm much better at it now.

For diy questions, like when I had my boiler problem, that wasn't a problem in the end, I went on to the forum called diynot. you get a lot of professionals on there from all trades who are happy to advise you.

What I find is that every problem is a different one, unfortunately. And for some reason, on the confidence front, it starts from scratch for every problem.

But I can blag it with professionals, usually. Asking the right questions about options/recommendations etc usually works...not always

And I've not yet fallen for the "what's your budget, love?" question. Just how thick do I look...don't answer that!! :rotfl:

This diy forum you mention - is that the MSE one or a different one? I'm thinking even if I decide not to carry out DIY (painting tends to be my limit, though I have wallpapered years and years ago), it could give me more understanding of what each job needs. :T