A Singularly Lonely Christmas

paulineb_2

You could change the title of the thread I believe.

groatie_queen

Hi there, here's a link to some TED talks. The Jane McGonigal one is particularly interesting, thought provoking, humorous and moving, and she mentions the idea of post traumatic growth and how it can be nurtured.

I've joined her SuperBetter game online, it looks very interesting, provided it's not too time-consuming; I think once it's all set up and the reminders kick in, it could be a useful tool.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tedtalks/watch-6-insanely-popular-_b_4536413.html?utm_hp_ref=uk&ir=UK

I'm reading a book on my Kindle which was mentioned online - was it by someone here? "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor, which like Jane's talk is based on research and identifies 7 principles which contribute to enabling a happy life.

What LB has started here is definitely contributing in an increase in the sum total of happiness - connection with like-minded others being so vital for mental and social health.. so far I have scored low in physical health, not a surprise, looking forward to improvements and an increase in my drastically low energy supply!

paulineb_2

I had 3 mocktails, the strawberry daiquiri was very nice, mojito a bit sharp, I also had a can of 29p shandy bass from home bargains, 0.5 per cent alcohol so technically I did have some.

The only zero per cent beer I've ever tried has been Bavaria, its OK. Apparently the mocktails count as one of your five a day, thank god for that as I've been salad dodging the last few days.

I did make the gym today, walked there and back in the pouring rain, sploonging as we say up here, you could have wrung out my socks.

sophieschoice

Came across this in the Guardian earlier which may help someone

http://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/about-loneliness/

calicocat

LavenderBees wrote: »

The extra jar idea to track your alcohol free saving is a really good idea...it'll either motivate you big time or help you save up for a huge binge weekend :rotfl:

Re drummer boy :mad: - NTBT's nefarious skills may come in handy....am sure she'll give you a discount....

oh god it could do that couldn't it...........Hmmmm , may re-think that plan........or call the jar Mortgage or Car .

Have decided re: drummer boy , that unless he's under 20 i am going to have to hunt down his exact location. Flirt with him massively and ask to have a go on said drums. Somehow steal a set of keys to his garage (assuming drums are in garage , it sounds like it)...........and go in and play them when he is asleep.........:T :rotfl: .

or i could go in and remove drums altogether i suppose. This is only going to get worse too, as he progresses and gets louder with it....:(.


i am also saving money on the heating now , as last night the boiler sounded like it was trying to escape.....horrific banging and clanking sound...read boiler books for about an hour or so on and off....facinating stuff.....rang plumber in total manic female fashion:o , but by this time it wasnt doing it anymore. Up-shot is i'm paranoid about boiler for now, so will only have it on when i'm in in case it blows up (plumber did say it won't blow up....but what does he know....:D)

So house will be cold when i get in from work now.

If the paranioa remains i am going to have to get one of the telly-tubby onesies .

LB , i am off that date you mentioned in Feb , so sounds good , but will be checking finances that month as pay will be pants compared to normal.



as you can see i am on work computer , so can post the faces.....................:T , i miss that with new phone.

Well , back to the grind for me....night folks.

LavenderBees

groatie_queen wrote: »

Hi there, here's a link to some TED talks. The Jane McGonigal one is particularly interesting, thought provoking, humorous and moving, and she mentions the idea of post traumatic growth and how it can be nurtured.

I've joined her SuperBetter game online, it looks very interesting, provided it's not too time-consuming; I think once it's all set up and the reminders kick in, it could be a useful tool.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tedtalks/watch-6-insanely-popular-_b_4536413.html?utm_hp_ref=uk&ir=UK

I'm reading a book on my Kindle which was mentioned online - was it by someone here? "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor, which like Jane's talk is based on research and identifies 7 principles which contribute to enabling a happy life.

What LB has started here is definitely contributing in an increase in the sum total of happiness - connection with like-minded others being so vital for mental and social health.. so far I have scored low in physical health, not a surprise, looking forward to improvements and an increase in my drastically low energy supply!

Morning GQ!

Thanks very much for posting this. It looks really interesting and I've bookmarked it for later this afternoon, when I'm expecting the weather to be bad. I need to do outdoor things on lottie this morning to take advantage of a break in the rain.

My own energy levels fluctuate wildly depending not surprisingly on quality of sleep, diet, and what emotional cr*p is going on. Some of this is within my control to make better, I think.

I'm going to enjoy watching these TED videos. Quality of life, getting the best we can squeeze from it, is so important.

xx

LavenderBees

sophieschoice wrote: »

Came across this in the Guardian earlier which may help someone

http://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/about-loneliness/

Thanks for this! Food for thought,especially the physical and emotional health risks. For myself, I could feel that loneliness was dragging down my mood (which was already low because of my bereavment).

I find it really sad that so many people can feel chronic loneliness and isolation. And this is despite the fact that we have access to better communication tools than ever.

This thread has been an incredible support for me (and hopefully others). I never expected so many like minded people would join up to help each other out. It's been tremendous :T

However, these are no substitute for face to face communication with like minded people. Definitely no substitute for a smile, a hug, a proper chat.

Personally, I think l need both - access to a wider caring community (like this thread) and access to local face to face caring support.

xx

LavenderBees

calicocat wrote: »

oh god it could do that couldn't it...........Hmmmm , may re-think that plan........or call the jar Mortgage or Car .

Have decided re: drummer boy , that unless he's under 20 i am going to have to hunt down his exact location. Flirt with him massively and ask to have a go on said drums. Somehow steal a set of keys to his garage (assuming drums are in garage , it sounds like it)...........and go in and play them when he is asleep.........:T :rotfl: .

or i could go in and remove drums altogether i suppose. This is only going to get worse too, as he progresses and gets louder with it....:(.


i am also saving money on the heating now , as last night the boiler sounded like it was trying to escape.....horrific banging and clanking sound...read boiler books for about an hour or so on and off....facinating stuff.....rang plumber in total manic female fashion:o , but by this time it wasnt doing it anymore. Up-shot is i'm paranoid about boiler for now, so will only have it on when i'm in in case it blows up (plumber did say it won't blow up....but what does he know....:D)

So house will be cold when i get in from work now.

If the paranioa remains i am going to have to get one of the telly-tubby onesies .

LB , i am off that date you mentioned in Feb , so sounds good , but will be checking finances that month as pay will be pants compared to normal.



as you can see i am on work computer , so can post the faces.....................:T , i miss that with new phone.

Well , back to the grind for me....night folks.

Arson needed, perhaps?

Eeeh, did I say that?

Re the boiler, could it have been air trapped? I bang and clank sometimes...:rotfl:

No probs re Feb. No need to decide now, just pop it on your calendar and decide when you can. No need to go to lunch either if that helps. We could just do the free exhibition and have had a nice morning out doing something a bit different.

I'd better get out to lottie before I get stuck to my laptop and end up doing nothing on my list.

Have a good day, everyone!

xx

calicocat

Hmmmmm.......


I think this thread has changed my actions slightly if last night was anything to go by. Hopefully this will continue.

I was working with bank staff. Normally i'm quite chatty and gregarious during a shift, then just give it the 'see you around' at the end. Due to hermit tenancies I have realised I don't really put myself out to make new friends....(plus i'm quite picky...lol). I just leave them as random meets, or acquaintances in general, or take quite a while letting things deepen further. This means i'm narrowing my possible circle to only the people I spend larger amount of time with.


Anyhow, I enjoyed the chat we had, had same sense of humour (warped due to job), we live in same area etc...bla bla bla.


So I did something very odd for me and asked for her number to exchange numbers for handymen, electricians,builders etc, and I can let her know when shifts come up on the ward.

I never do this normally, I wait for people to come to me.

I have no idea why I do this, i'm not what I call 'a collector of people' as some people are as I can find this quite false...but i'm a bit too much the other way, and was wondering if that's what some of us other singletons do...without realising it.


Anyhow, just thought i'd share my startling revelation this morning.




Off to sleep.....hopefully, enjoy your day people.






Oh....and i'm not entirely sure it's possible for me to go out and not do lunch...even if just a soup or sandwich....lol....never tried it before...kidding.

Hollyberry

What a lovely step, Calico. If it doesn't work out, no biggie, but if it does...

I met one of my bessies by doing something similar, started with a coffee, and now I can't imagine not knowing her. It reminds me to try that again, particularly as I work from home and my colleagues for Job 1 are essentially virtual for most of the year.

Continuing to read and to find this thread full of gentle yet powerful encouragement. Thank you all.