A Singularly Lonely Christmas

LavenderBees

Byatt wrote: »

http://www.upworthy.com/heres-the-science-you-cant-not-know-before-making-that-ambitious-new-years-resolution?c=ufb1

Something for the new resolutions in NY, to think about.

I love these Upworthy wee lecture sessions - certainly food for thought there. They always make me think of things from a different angle.

I've bookmarked it so I can keep going back and reminding myself about the value of small goals/baby steps etc.

Thanks, Chuck! very useful :T

LavenderBees

skipton wrote: »

If you have the time LB, this has lots of chats about chickens but it is a bit long.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4876

A bit long? :rotfl: The thread starts in 2004 and last page is 2013 :rotfl:

I may be gone some time....:T

ETA - I've bookmarked this so I can read it at leisure. Cheers!!

boddy

Hello everyone. Quite a nice day for a walk but not moved yet. There is some beautiful woodland with a lake near me. Lots of wildlife.

LB Glad to hear you had a good time last night.

Might just carry on reading. It's Patricia Cornwalls Dust.

Mrs_Grey

I found myself in a similar situation about this time last year. Not really alone but hubby busy with work, children having their own lives and lost touch with friends because of being so wrapped up with family for the last ten years. I decided to work on MY life in 2013 and work out what I would like to do for once.

I like knitting/crochet/crafting so I found a knit and natter group in the next town that's only the price of a cup of coffee and there were loads of nice people there who were just like me. Not very loud or madly sociable but quietly friendly. One of them went to a quilting group in another town so
I tried that and also some craft workshops. Result : lots more nice people. I also made an effort at work to filter out a few people I could get on with and we have afternoon tea once a month or so and test cakes at various places. Then we saw a poster for a baking group who meet up and bake cakes and share them and the recipies. So I'm going to try that this year.

I would think about what you would like to do or things you would like to learn and try to find cheap ways of doing them. That will lead to more friends. Between that and volunteering (which I'm going to do t his year) and working and chickens, you will be meeting yourself coming back and won't have time to be lonely.

moneyistooshorttomention

Certainly following this thread with interest.

I think that the most positive thought I have personally picked up from here is that the reason for "families" not thinking to invite "singlies" along at Christmas to share in the "fun" might well be because their particular families are more like that "cross between Emmerdale/Eastenders/Coronation Street" and they don't wish to inflict a family get-together of that type onto the rest of us.

That thought had never actually crossed my mind...but judging from the number of comments "family" people make about "warring at Christmas" then that is certainly one worth bearing in mind.

lostinrates

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Certainly following this thread with interest.

I think that the most positive thought I have personally picked up from here is that the reason for "families" not thinking to invite "singlies" along at Christmas to share in the "fun" might well be because their particular families are more like that "cross between Emmerdale/Eastenders/Coronation Street" and they don't wish to inflict a family get-together of that type onto the rest of us.

That thought had never actually crossed my mind...but judging from the number of comments "family" people make about "warring at Christmas" then that is certainly one worth bearing in mind.

We had lunch yesterday with some of my in laws. My in laws are reasonable decent people yet still there are still tensions. There is no way I would invite people when our families are here. All far too fraught.

I'll be honest, I loved the open door mixed table Christmases tremendously, but family ones make me squirm a bit. . I'm missing the gene that makes my blood thicker than wine poured sociably and in good cheer and spirit. .


Someone who was prepared to nip out and pop the chickens away for me would be especially welcome! Some times when we have peoe to supper we have said that one of us is just piping out for ten minutes to check animals/birds and the whole party troops out, we've never been quite sure if thy want to go or feel obliged to.

LavenderBees

Mrs_Grey wrote: »

I found myself in a similar situation about this time last year. Not really alone but hubby busy with work, children having their own lives and lost touch with friends because of being so wrapped up with family for the last ten years. I decided to work on MY life in 2013 and work out what I would like to do for once.

I like knitting/crochet/crafting so I found a knit and natter group in the next town that's only the price of a cup of coffee and there were loads of nice people there who were just like me. Not very loud or madly sociable but quietly friendly. One of them went to a quilting group in another town so
I tried that and also some craft workshops. Result : lots more nice people. I also made an effort at work to filter out a few people I could get on with and we have afternoon tea once a month or so and test cakes at various places. Then we saw a poster for a baking group who meet up and bake cakes and share them and the recipies. So I'm going to try that this year.

I would think about what you would like to do or things you would like to learn and try to find cheap ways of doing them. That will lead to more friends. Between that and volunteering (which I'm going to do t his year) and working and chickens, you will be meeting yourself coming back and won't have time to be lonely.

Thanks, Mrs Grey, that's really inspirational. You've also managed to make it all sound so easy, too. Which it is really, when you think about it. You've summed it all up really well :T

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

We had lunch yesterday with some of my in laws. My in laws are reasonable decent people yet still there are still tensions. There is no way I would invite people when our families are here. All far too fraught.

I'll be honest, I loved the open door mixed table Christmases tremendously, but family ones make me squirm a bit. . I'm missing the gene that makes my blood thicker than wine poured sociably and in good cheer and spirit. .


Someone who was prepared to nip out and pop the chickens away for me would be especially welcome! Some times when we have peoe to supper we have said that one of us is just piping out for ten minutes to check animals/birds and the whole party troops out, we've never been quite sure if thy want to go or feel obliged to.

It's an interesting perspective from another angle, certainly.

On the subject of everyone trooping out to help check on the chickens, I suspect they really want to. Lots of people are interested, even if they'd never have them themselves.

"My" chicken minder girlie didn't ring me this morning, but her mum did to tell me she has woken very poorly today, but if I still wanted to go around to see them, I was very welcome. I've declined as frankly a stinking cold isn't in my Xmas hols plans :rotfl:, and there's nothing spoiling chicken-wise. Lets face it , they're a figment of my imagination at the moment :rotfl:, so I've arranged to pop round to have a chat next Saturday. But the fact her mum rang is a good sign, I think. They sound like a lovely (responsible) family. It really will be so fab if I can have chickens, but still have a wee social life etc...

LavenderBees

boddy wrote: »

Hello everyone. Quite a nice day for a walk but not moved yet. There is some beautiful woodland with a lake near me. Lots of wildlife.

LB Glad to hear you had a good time last night.

Might just carry on reading. It's Patricia Cornwalls Dust.

Well, yes, it was a lovely day for a walk...guess what I didn't do! :rotfl:

A far flung friend rang me unexpectedly, which was really lovely, and we chatted/caught up - our joint new years resolution is to ring each other more often! And then I was inspired to have another wee foray into Morpeth.

Had a successful mooch and then hit M&S lucky for some mark downs - turkey mince (I'm assuming I can use them as "normal" mince??), and pork pie for tomorrow's tea.

But, omg, trying on clothes...nightmare. I MUST MUST MUST lose some weight in January.

:eek:

lostinrates

As you are going to keep them in all the time have you thought of any in particular?

I'd recommend some of the feathered leg bantams perhaps? Our millefleurs bantams don't roam too far except on very wonderful days and are darling, darling pet girls ( they live in our front garden in fact).

Also a wonderful gift was our non bearded silkie bantam. Another really lovely pet girl, slightly more wanderlust than the millefleurs but less than the silk propers or hybrids. I love her alien little black and blue face and her cat like feel, and she's rather 'snugly' . (All ours free range in the truest sense so we get a good idea of natural wants!).

My husband has a particular soft spot for the millefleur bantams. They are nice tame little birds. I might even get him another pair for his birthday. The cross of millefleur and silkie is almost feral, like wild creatures.........not what I expected at all.