Paid to Breastfeed: would it have encouraged you to do it?

Air_Cooled_75

SmlSave wrote: »

Nope Lactose (from diary products) is one thing of the few things that goes through your system to your breastmilk. It also takes over 10 weeks of a diary free diet for your milk to become lactose free and then you have to keep the diary free diet up!

But breast milk is dairy free, we are the only species that drinks milk from another species (I do drink cow's milk btw). You don't need to drink milk to make breast milk

Lactose intolerance is very rare, we live in an age where people perceive these things as commonplace.

Do you have a link to the 10 week thing?

DaisyDavies

I do/have breastfed - yes it would have encouraged me to carry on longer

There is a lot of breastfeeding support out there at a local level, so I don't buy that women give up or don't bother for lack of it.

It is hard work.... Mum does have to ensure she eats properly and things and I had to give up once I returned to work when my baby was 5 months old for that reason.

I welcome any incentive for folk to try it and consider it an option instead of instantly ruling it out. It is what breasts were for..... and I say that as someone who had to have their milk tested medically for safety before I knew whether I could or not. It's a shame this incentive cash will divide.

kboss2010

I don't/haven't breastfed - no I wouldn't have done it

I find this suggestion insulting. I fully respect a woman's choice to bf but it should be exactly that: a choice.

I don't plan to breast-feed any children I have purely due to this being impractical. I don't plan on taking any more than 3 months' maternity leave due to loss of income therefore trying to bf would be impossible. I also want to equally share childcare responsibilities with my partner and midnight feeds are damn-near impossible for the man if you're breastfeeding unless you want to spend every waking minute expressing milk and leaking everywhere if you don't.

Admitting either of these opinions in the UK is pretty much heresy but my child will be my responsibility and every parent should be able to raise their child in the best way to suit them.

I also don't believe the current NHS doctrine that bottle-feeding your child is akin to child endangerment. Many women are unable to breast-feed and their kids aren't suddenly all critically ill. Yes, bf provides antibodies for a few months but that's about it, and, yes, I have read the relevant scientific literature straight from the scientific journals rather than the media "sound bites". Don't forget that the immunity a child gains from bf is only as good as the mother's.

The NHS is always changing its mind about what the current best practice is, I remember not that long ago they were telling people it was ok to wean at three months. Suddenly guidelines change and you're an irresponsible parent damaging your child's digestive system for life if you even suggest weaning before 6 months. :mad: In general, those I've met who are involved in working with expectant and new mothers are horrendously judgemental and bossy as though their opinion is the only one that counts.

At the end of the day, risk is all about percentages and statistics can be manipulated to say whatever you want (ask any scientist!) I know just as many bf babies who have gone on to develop asthma, allergies and other illnesses as non-bf babies who have developed none of these things.

No amount of money would make me change my mind on this.

Air_Cooled_75

Kboss, the guidelines about weaning have not recommended 3 months for a long time (at least 3 years when I had my baby). Early weaning (when the gut is immature) can lead to IBS in later life (think 20 and 30 year olds) both DH and me were born in the 70s when it wasn't uncommon to start babies on solids at 8 weeks! (to get baby to sleep through the night and reduce formula costs?) both of us have dodgy bowels! Not the only ones of our age either.

Good luck on the going back to work after 12 weeks, you might just start to get a bit of sleep by then. I'm sorry, but why would you consider having a baby when you can only afford to spend 12 weeks with it then head back to work?

The bottle feeding novelty wears off with men after a while.

I have to say although the support where I live for bf is excellent nobody made any kind of issue about it other than saying it would be hard work! At no point was I forced/pushed/whatever and have yet to meet anyone who was. Maybe it's because we're older??

kboss2010

I don't/haven't breastfed - no I wouldn't have done it

That's *exactly* the thing I find so frustrating, in the nicest possible way. Why should I take the lion's share of the responsibility for raising our kids just because I'm the woman and my OH might get bored? What if I get bored? Am I allowed to not feed my baby because I don't want to get up every two hours? I'd have social services breathing down my neck!

It's these kinds of prevailing attitudes to raising children that allow men to get away with being lazy and result in discrimination from both sides (men who choose to share the childcare are often belittled in society as are working women who choose not to stay at home.)

Kids are maybe a gift but babies are not exciting or interesting most of the time. Like I said, my opinions are not openly accepted by society, but you would be surprised when you admit the unthinkable how many parents actually agree. I had a friend confess to me the other day how boring she found her baby up to 6 months old - they eat, poop, cry and, if you're lucky, sleep. That's about it. It made her feel like a bad parent and she felt really isolated amongst other new mums because she thought they would judge her harshly if they knew how she felt. She's not the only one, believe me.

It doesn't mean she loves her kids less or looks after them in a worse way, far from it, but sometimes it's ok to not want to sacrifice your whole life for a child. Sure, your life will change hugely, but no parent should be forced to change their personality completely just because they have a child. If you're the kind of person who loves to spend every waking minute with your kids from birth to age 5 that's fantastic - so go for it and I commend you for your patience. I would lose my mind with only babies and toddlers for company all day every day. Work would be a break by comparison and a much needed connection to the outside world (I don't have close family).

Bluemeanie_2

I don't/haven't breastfed - no I wouldn't have done it

kboss2010 wrote: »

That's *exactly* the thing I find so frustrating, in the nicest possible way. Why should I take the lion's share of the responsibility for raising our kids just because I'm the woman and my OH might get bored? What if I get bored? Am I allowed to not feed my baby because I don't want to get up every two hours? I'd have social services breathing down my neck!

It's these kinds of prevailing attitudes to raising children that allow men to get away with being lazy and result in discrimination from both sides (men who choose to share the childcare are often belittled in society as are working women who choose not to stay at home.)

Kids are maybe a gift but babies are not exciting or interesting most of the time. Like I said, my opinions are not openly accepted by society, but you would be surprised when you admit the unthinkable how many parents actually agree. I had a friend confess to me the other day how boring she found her baby up to 6 months old - they eat, poop, cry and, if you're lucky, sleep. That's about it. It made her feel like a bad parent and she felt really isolated amongst other new mums because she thought they would judge her harshly if they knew how she felt. She's not the only one, believe me.

It doesn't mean she loves her kids less or looks after them in a worse way, far from it, but sometimes it's ok to not want to sacrifice your whole life for a child. Sure, your life will change hugely, but no parent should be forced to change their personality completely just because they have a child. If you're the kind of person who loves to spend every waking minute with your kids from birth to age 5 that's fantastic - so go for it and I commend you for your patience. I would lose my mind with only babies and toddlers for company all day every day. Work would be a break by comparison and a much needed connection to the outside world (I don't have close family).

I could have written this post!

The whole time I was pregnant I was questioned about if/when I was going back to work etc. Not one person asked my Husband! I'm going back after 20 weeks, I was fortunate my organisation pay another 12 weeks half pay plus SMP after the intital 6 weeks.

I love my daughter but I'm going crazy at home!

hawk30

I do/have breastfed - I would have carried on whether the money was offered or not

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

Good luck on the going back to work after 12 weeks, you might just start to get a bit of sleep by then. I'm sorry, but why would you consider having a baby when you can only afford to spend 12 weeks with it then head back to work?

The bottle feeding novelty wears off with men after a while.

Would you ask this question of a man? Because most spent a maximum of 2 weeks at home before they head back to work.

I love my daughter. I tried damn hard to get her. But I am not a homemaker and it will make me miserable to stay at home. So I won't be taking the entire year off either. In fact her dad will be taking over when I go back to work. The man who got up early this morning before work, when I was wide awake and happy to be in charge, just so he could change her nappy and enjoy the early morning smiles and laughter that she gifts us with.

Gillyx

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

But breast milk is dairy free, we are the only species that drinks milk from another species (I do drink cow's milk btw). You don't need to drink milk to make breast milk

Lactose intolerance is very rare, we live in an age where people perceive these things as commonplace.

Do you have a link to the 10 week thing?

Breast milk is not dairy free, I know of many women who have had to give up dairy while breastfeeding as there child had a cows milk protein intolerance. If I had continued to express for my Little one I was told I'd have to follow a dairy free diet

Air_Cooled_75

Men aren't pregnant and don't give birth, both of which can be very physically demanding which is why I suspect women can have 'extra' time off once a baby arrives.

We don't need to consume dairy products and therefore breast milk would be dairy free if we didn't. Isn't most formula cow milk based?

Why don't we just be honest and say that having babies interferes with modern life?

I have been 'off work' since 2010. It can be terribly boring and frustrating, I had worked since probably 1992 so it was also a bit of a culture shock! I'm not a career woman and working was always about earning money. LO will start school next year so I'll probably start working again.

I'm not a mumsy/natural mum but I love my little boy and we have a great bond so I know not all women go gaga over babies, I know I don't and I actually don't really like them that much and don't even visit when other people have them! However, they really don't stay babies for very long and the time goes extremely fast. I think most newborns want their mums and despite the best efforts of even the most involved father only mum will do.

Nicki

I do/have breastfed - I would have carried on whether the money was offered or not

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

We don't need to consume dairy products and therefore breast milk would be dairy free if we didn't. Isn't most formula cow milk based?

Babies who have a dairy intolerance aren't fed on standard formula from the supermarket. They are fed on prescription only formula which has no milk of any kind in it. I looked at the ingredients of DS's once and couldn't identify anything in it.

Again, and speaking from personal experience, even if the mother excludes dairy from her diet, depending on the reason for the intolerance, not all babies can tolerate breast milk if they have an intolerance. I don't actually know which bit of milk my baby couldn't digest but I do know he was extremely ill after 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding and that the situation resolved when he was put onto Neocate which is a hypoallergenic formula. And he was the third child, the other two were also breastfed, and I wept buckets when I was told to stop feeding him as I enjoyed breastfeeding and find it easier than FF.