Action plan needed

WeBeBroke

If you've noticed the problems getting worse since you moved - do you think it may have something to do with the water as a previous poster suggested? If you have copper pipes, you could have high levels of copper in your water which has been linked to heavy periods in women and depression. So if you can switch to bottled water for a while you could test the theory.

Could also have a positive knock-on effect on your other problems :-).

And if you're boyfriend is bored with you not being able to afford to do anything nice why doesn't he pay for a night out? I could have the complete wrong end of the stick but if he can afford to go off on lovely trips surely he could afford a dinner or two! I'm not saying for him to pay all the time, just once or twice while you're going through a rough time.

Hope things get better for you.

WBB

Wellyboots6

Would higher levels of copper show up in a blood test, as the tests have all come back fine.

Managed to save a little this month so may as well try the bottled water idea, it can only help!

When_the_going_gets_tough

Could you possibly scrape the money together for some private therapy/counselling? Have a free first appointment to see if you gell with the therapist if you can possibly afford it it might be the best investment you can make for your well being.

Wellyboots6

Unlikely I could afford many private therapy sessions, and as I am due to either possibly lose my job or at least having my wages cut I can't really afford much at the moment.

It would take me a few sessions before I could open up properly.

This is where I have struggled with the mental health process so far. I referred myself in and a month later had my first assessment in October '13. The assessment was OK and the lady seemed nice. She then told me that because of the issues I had, counselling would not be appropriate yet and she was referring me on. I then had a second assessment in December with a man who seemed to listen mostly, but also seemed to jump to conclusions and be quite dismissive of things. He told me the reason I had been referred on was because I had mentioned suicidal thoughts, which the first service cannot deal with. He said that we would do some work on my moods, coping mechanisms etc and booked me an appointment for a month.

This was the appointment I had earlier in the week. As I said before, I heard the staff making a comment about me as I was waiting in the reception which I found quite upsetting. Then when I saw the man he asked how I was today and I told him I was having quite a good day. He then seemed to use that as a reason to discharge me. Everything I explained to him he dismissed, saying that everyone feels like that at times etc. Someone then walked in to the room saying that they had booked the room, and the man told them to wait outside as we wouldn't be long. From then I just shut down as I felt he wasn't listening and the whole situation was uncomfortable with someone stodd right outside the door.
He said he wasn't going to book me another appointment as I seemed fine, and I just agreed as I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.
I then broke down in tears once I got out the building. I have felt awful since, as it has taken so long to even get to see anyone and I started to feel like I was finally going to get some support. I feel like I said the wrong thing by being truthful about how I felt that day. I did explain that I had been feeling worse recently and things were escalating, but he dismissed it.
Hoping to get in to see the GP tomorrow, but still no clearer on what I want.

Cotta

katy721 wrote: »

Probably a bit of a ramble, but I'm feeling quite muddled up so will try and explain as best I can.

Basically I have a few issues going on at the moment which all seem to be linked in some way, and I am getting quite down about it all. I was hoping you good people would help me come up with an action plan so that I can feel a bit more positive about dealing with my problems.

Issue 1: Today I went to see the GP about something minor, but ended up breaking down in tears when I left because I have had some 'womens problems' which I am really struggling with. I have had various tests and seen a specialist and they have decided they can't find anything wrong. The GP today said basically there is nothing really they can do as they can't find anything wrong and it isn't affecting my life too much (this is what made me cry as it really is affecting my life!). I didn't feel like I could question the GP though as they have the qualifications and I don't!

Issue 2: I referred myself for a mental health assessment a while back due to getting so down about my health stuff (Issue 1), I am also aware I have bereavement issues and other bits and bobs. I had the assessment a while back and they said they were referring me elsewhere as I needed a specialist service. I received a letter from the other service asking me to ring to confirm I wanted to work with them, which I did, and they said they would be in touch with an appointment. I haven't heard anything yet and have no idea what the wait time is, but feel I am really struggling and need someone to actually listen to what I am saying.

Issue 3: In a (newish) relationship at the moment, but not sure how long it will last due to a difficult physical relationship (see Issue 1, and probably Issue 2!). I don't see a lot of him as he travels a lot. It means I don't get to talk to him about Issue 1,2 and 3 very much either.

Issue 4: Work is a little shaky at the moment as we are waiting to hear about whether the company will get the contract renewed. They are aware of Issues 1 and 2, and this makes me nervous that if it comes to staff cuts, or deciding which staff to carry over it may affect my chances.

Issue 5: Money is very very tight, increasing my stress about Issue 4 and contributing to Issue 2, and also affecting Issue 3!


There are quite a few more I could add to the list, but these seem to be the main things muddling me up at the moment. Any advice on what I can be doing to try and help myself (In a relationship/money/advice type way and in no way medical)?

It has helped a lot just writing the list out actually!

First of all you will get much better responses than mine but hopefully there is something here you can use too.

1. Take a look at your signature, that shows me you're someone who is succeeding despite difficult circumstances.

2. Regarding your first point you have taken positive action and have seen a GP regarding your "issues," these people are the experts so have faith that they can help and heal you.

3. Regarding your mental health issues, you've nothing to worry about there - you have been through a lot and you're seeking help. Just keep working on this and try to feed your mind with positive thoughts and have some "me" time which can also help. If you can do some physical exercise as this is known to aid mental health issues.

4. Do not worry about work. First of all you have a job and you can use this time to re-skill and start applying for other jobs. The worst that can happen here is you lose a shaky job, gain a more stable job and probably take home a good redundancy package too.

5. Don't worry about money, when issues arise come here and experts here will help.

6. You're in a relationship, well done - many of us are not. You're the master of how this goes, if you're happy continue and if you feel it's not right end it.

Basically the problems all boil down to health issues which are affecting other areas of your life. Just concentrate on your health and everything can wait.

To be honest we all have our challenges but you're doing very well so good luck and keep going.

Person_one

katy721 wrote: »

Unlikely I could afford many private therapy sessions, and as I am due to either possibly lose my job or at least having my wages cut I can't really afford much at the moment.

It would take me a few sessions before I could open up properly.

This is where I have struggled with the mental health process so far. I referred myself in and a month later had my first assessment in October '13. The assessment was OK and the lady seemed nice. She then told me that because of the issues I had, counselling would not be appropriate yet and she was referring me on. I then had a second assessment in December with a man who seemed to listen mostly, but also seemed to jump to conclusions and be quite dismissive of things. He told me the reason I had been referred on was because I had mentioned suicidal thoughts, which the first service cannot deal with. He said that we would do some work on my moods, coping mechanisms etc and booked me an appointment for a month.

This was the appointment I had earlier in the week. As I said before, I heard the staff making a comment about me as I was waiting in the reception which I found quite upsetting. Then when I saw the man he asked how I was today and I told him I was having quite a good day. He then seemed to use that as a reason to discharge me. Everything I explained to him he dismissed, saying that everyone feels like that at times etc. Someone then walked in to the room saying that they had booked the room, and the man told them to wait outside as we wouldn't be long. From then I just shut down as I felt he wasn't listening and the whole situation was uncomfortable with someone stodd right outside the door.
He said he wasn't going to book me another appointment as I seemed fine, and I just agreed as I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.
I then broke down in tears once I got out the building. I have felt awful since, as it has taken so long to even get to see anyone and I started to feel like I was finally going to get some support. I feel like I said the wrong thing by being truthful about how I felt that day. I did explain that I had been feeling worse recently and things were escalating, but he dismissed it.
Hoping to get in to see the GP tomorrow, but still no clearer on what I want.

I'd definitely complaining about that experience. Was this an NHS mental health trust?

Wellyboots6

It was an NHS mental health trust.
What specifically would I complain about though?
I understand that they are not an emergency service, but the waiting really got to me. I didn't mind too much whilst I thought I might be getting some support eventually, but to wait 4 months for nothing was frustrating.

Person_one

katy721 wrote: »

It was an NHS mental health trust.
What specifically would I complain about though?
I understand that they are not an emergency service, but the waiting really got to me. I didn't mind too much whilst I thought I might be getting some support eventually, but to wait 4 months for nothing was frustrating.

You complain for all the reasons you've just posted here!

• You overheard the staff making a comment about you
• Your session was interrupted which made it difficult for you to feel at ease and continue
• You felt that the therapist/counsellor/psychiatrist (whoever was treating you) was not listening to you properly and was dismissive of your feelings
• You felt under pressure to agree to being discharged even though that's not what you really want and you feel you need more help

All grounds for complaint, if you don't feel as though you are strong enough to go through the process on your own, you could look into contacting an advocate: http://nhscomplaintsadvocacy.org

I'm passionate about the NHS, I will defend their principles all day long, but when they get things wrong its really important to flag it up and get the problems addressed.

Mental health services are being cut to the bone to the point where they are letting people down right left and centre and sadly, one of the reasons the government and the trusts are getting away with it is that users of MH services don't tend to complain or make a fuss or loudly demand better treatment.

jackyann

Katy: I do hope you are getting the help you need, and that you found some of the advice here helpful.
I would advise you to take the advice that centres around being more confident, but be wary of self-diagnosis.

As a nurse all of my working life, I spent a lot of time interpreting patients to doctors & vice-versa. Here's my advice:
Be as specific as you can with your list of of signs & symptoms.
Eg: keep a diary of your bleeding - note days when it is heavy, days when lighter. If you can remember what a "normal" period was like for you, then compare each day to that, or note approximately how many towels / tampons you needed.
When dealing with pain, think about type of pain (stabbing, sore, shooting generalised etc.) scale it 1 (hardly noticeable)-10 (worst you can imagine). Use over-the-counter or prescribed pain relief (if prescribed, use exactly as advised) and note how well it works, or doesn't.
This may seem obvious, but the fact that a particular analgesic doesn't work is useful information as well as necessary for the patient. Also, the number of times I have been told "the pain relief doesn't work" only to find out it's still in its packet!
Being told to wait a period of time is frustrating, but some conditions do improve in certain time frames. If they haven't, that too, is useful information.

With regard to women's health, you should have local well women clinics that you can attend, staffed by specialist nurses, and that may be useful
Good luck

Wellyboots6

Complaining would be a bit awkward at the moment due to the nature of the job I do, and the fact I am currently job hunting. It shouldn't matter at all as it should be treated professionally, but unfortunately in reality things do not quite work like that.

I cannot rate the Samaritans highly enough though, they have been absolutely brilliant and are top of my list of charities to raise money for this year.