Action plan needed

Wellyboots6

Probably a bit of a ramble, but I'm feeling quite muddled up so will try and explain as best I can.

Basically I have a few issues going on at the moment which all seem to be linked in some way, and I am getting quite down about it all. I was hoping you good people would help me come up with an action plan so that I can feel a bit more positive about dealing with my problems.

Issue 1: Today I went to see the GP about something minor, but ended up breaking down in tears when I left because I have had some 'womens problems' which I am really struggling with. I have had various tests and seen a specialist and they have decided they can't find anything wrong. The GP today said basically there is nothing really they can do as they can't find anything wrong and it isn't affecting my life too much (this is what made me cry as it really is affecting my life!). I didn't feel like I could question the GP though as they have the qualifications and I don't!

Issue 2: I referred myself for a mental health assessment a while back due to getting so down about my health stuff (Issue 1), I am also aware I have bereavement issues and other bits and bobs. I had the assessment a while back and they said they were referring me elsewhere as I needed a specialist service. I received a letter from the other service asking me to ring to confirm I wanted to work with them, which I did, and they said they would be in touch with an appointment. I haven't heard anything yet and have no idea what the wait time is, but feel I am really struggling and need someone to actually listen to what I am saying.

Issue 3: In a (newish) relationship at the moment, but not sure how long it will last due to a difficult physical relationship (see Issue 1, and probably Issue 2!). I don't see a lot of him as he travels a lot. It means I don't get to talk to him about Issue 1,2 and 3 very much either.

Issue 4: Work is a little shaky at the moment as we are waiting to hear about whether the company will get the contract renewed. They are aware of Issues 1 and 2, and this makes me nervous that if it comes to staff cuts, or deciding which staff to carry over it may affect my chances.

Issue 5: Money is very very tight, increasing my stress about Issue 4 and contributing to Issue 2, and also affecting Issue 3!


There are quite a few more I could add to the list, but these seem to be the main things muddling me up at the moment. Any advice on what I can be doing to try and help myself (In a relationship/money/advice type way and in no way medical)?

It has helped a lot just writing the list out actually!

mountainofdebt

what about doing some research into your symptoms etc re issue 1 and see what you come up with ? Whilst I know what you say about doctors having the qualifications, experience has shown me not to trust them as all knowing and god-like. They're human who just have abit of knowledge in a certain area.

re issue 2 - why not phone them and ask? Can't do any harm and you can ask them if there's anything you can be doing for yourself in the meantime

re issue 4/5- has issues 1 & 2 ever affected your work in anyway? If not then they aren't an issue. also would looking for a new job help with issue 4 & 5? I know we're coming up to a slow period for job hunting (who wants to be interviewing in the run up to christmas) but at least you can start to put the feelers out)

as for issue 3 - do you feel able to talk to him about issue 1 and or issue 2? I have to admit I've been with OH now for over 25 years and I still find talking to him about 'women's issues a little daunting. Would it be better to start off with issue 2 and see where that goes?

kittendothroar

I really feel for you, your life now seems like my 2011/12 and you know what - I am still here despite the odds! Here is my thoughts, bare in mind I am post long shift and tired so forgive any typos!

Issue 1 - some gp's I have seen are useless - google, speak to other people and go armed. I have some medical issues that don't have physical signs as such but very much affect my daily life, something GP's don't always comprehend. FYI I work with medical doctors and they don't always get it right either they are only human too. Get empowered by researching yourself, it helps at least to gain some control back. Trust me its the only way!

2 - I waited a month for over the phone assessment, then 8 months for 6 face to face sessions. You can't put your life on hold however waiting - the web is full of useless info but there is so much help and support out there - I don't know your issues so can't advise much more than this.

3 - IMHO if someone is into you, they will deal with whatever you are going through. I have flare up's of a very embarrassing condition and my new (ish!) OH is completely supportive vs Ex who just wouldn't support me how I needed.

4 - You are looking too far into the future, when you have so much else going on. Life happens regardless of our best laid plans and you cannot predict things, just make sure you continue to make yourself visible and show that you are still capable of being there, keep them in the loop. And remember they can't discriminate!

5 - Money is the root cause of so much woe. Just do what you can, spend only what you have. You are in the right place at least!

Good luck. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Wellyboots6

Thank you for your replies.

I have avoided researching as I don't want to scare myself and create illnesses I do not have. I think this afternoon I am going to make a start though and try and do it sensibly and with an open mind.

I am going to try and find the letter with a contact number for Issue 2 ready to ring them Monday.

I've been looking for jobs, there isn't much at the moment though but will have another quick squizz through this afternoon.

Talking to OH is not really an option at the moment as he is the other side of the world doing fun and amazing stuff! He knows a bit about Issue 1 (I had to explain why he doesn't get any!) minus the gory details. He knows nothing about Issue 2. He is so calm and laid back that I really don't know how he would take it.

Some pointers to get me started though, thank you

My first thing on my list to do today is contact old friends I have not contacted for a while. I have let things slide again due to having so much on my mind.

davenport151

Always a good idea to catch up with old friends. I find it 'centers' you if that makes sense?
You new OH sounds like he has the ideal attitude. My Brother is a lot like this. Considering he is still on board with you about not getting any, I don't think you have much to worry about there.

Wellyboots6

I think I worry more about OH getting bored because I can't afford to go on his adventures with him, than I do about him getting bored of lack of the other.

Hopefully meeting up with a few old friends this evening if I can motivate myself to go.

Now to get on with my research etc. Got my pot of tea and my notepad ready so I had better get stuck in!

Wellyboots6

Flippin eck

Started getting my paperwork together to try and get things in a bit of order and have managed to totally stress myself out with the state of my drawers and cupboards.

The house looks pretty tidy on face value, but open any drawer or cupboard and things are just thrown in there and the door slammed shut.

Also realised I can't go out tonight as my bank account is almost empty due to a bill only just coming out that I assumed had come out weeks ago.

One step forward, a half marathon in reverse at the moment. Feeling totally overwhelmed

Jobseeeker

Do you mind saying specifically what your women's problems are. There might be someone on here with the same thing

itsanne

katy721 wrote: »

The GP today said basically there is nothing really they can do as they can't find anything wrong and it isn't affecting my life too much (this is what made me cry as it really is affecting my life!).

GPs aren't mind readers. If you don't tell your GP that it is affecting your life a lot, s/he won't know. You may be embarrassed about it, but you need to go back to your GP and spell out the effect it is having on you.

Good luck.

Wellyboots6

Jobseeeker: I am almost constantly bleeding at the moment. Have been since January. It can be very heavy and painful. I have had scans to look for cysts, sometimes they find cysts and sometimes they don't. The last scan showed no cysts. I have had swabs and blood tests and nothing shows.

itsanne: I have told the GP how painful it is, how I am always bleeding. His response was 'but you are ok between periods'? I told him that there wasn't really a 'between periods' and if there was it was only a day or so. His reply, 'but you are ok then?'. I told him I worry about going out, have a change of clothes in the car just in case etc but he still said that as it isn't really affecting my life there is nothing more they can do. Not sure how much clearer I can be! I did see the female GP (a scary russian lady who makes you feel like you need to apologise for being ill!) and she said that some women have worse periods than others.

Maybe I am imagining it to be worse than it is, but I really don't think I am.

gwen80

katy721 wrote: »

Jobseeeker: I am almost constantly bleeding at the moment. Have been since January. It can be very heavy and painful. I have had scans to look for cysts, sometimes they find cysts and sometimes they don't. The last scan showed no cysts. I have had swabs and blood tests and nothing shows.

itsanne: I have told the GP how painful it is, how I am always bleeding. His response was 'but you are ok between periods'? I told him that there wasn't really a 'between periods' and if there was it was only a day or so. His reply, 'but you are ok then?'. I told him I worry about going out, have a change of clothes in the car just in case etc but he still said that as it isn't really affecting my life there is nothing more they can do. Not sure how much clearer I can be! I did see the female GP (a scary russian lady who makes you feel like you need to apologise for being ill!) and she said that some women have worse periods than others.

Maybe I am imagining it to be worse than it is, but I really don't think I am.

This is not normal and I really don't think you should be expected to put up with it. Ok, your doctor is medically qualified, but that doesn't make them God. I've had some awful experiences with GPs and consultants on occasions, but there are some good ones out there. Have you been referred to a gynae? I think you might have to insist that you are.

In my experience, some GPs tend to diminish the effects that health problems can have on your quality of life. They might do something if you walk in half dead, but if it's not going to kill you, you're expected to put up with it.

I find I often end up being fobbed off when I go to the GP, so recently I wrote them a letter. If you can write down what is happening and exactly the impact it is having on your life, it may help. What you've described isn't normal and is no quality of life, I think you need to insist that something is done.