How can I resolve this situation?

Notsosharp

My ex is friends with a lady who runs a charity shop, I still go for coffee with said ex on occasion and he told me that the lady who ran the charity shop had said my mum was a horrible person who had no friends because she stirred it all the time.

My mum goes into this charity shop quite often because she likes in in there, anyway the lady who runs the shop asked my mum if she would like to volunteer at the shop. Now at the time I found this cheeky and two faced but didn't say anything but tonight I told my mum what this lady had said about her. My mum is now understandably saying she's going to go and confront this lady and my ex. The woman who runs the charity shop I'm not so bothered about, I just won't go in there anymore BUT I'm quite friendly with the Ex AND I work with him at the same place!

Now I'm worried it's all going to kick off, when I broke up with my ex he was truly awful and said some vile things to me and to other people about me (I've still got the facebook messages).

We fell out for a while and didn't speak but recently he contacted me and asked me for my forgiveness (he has mental health issues and this was part of his therapy apparently) and we've been friends ever since. Now I'm worried if this all kicks off he'll start doing the same thing in work and making things difficult for me.

I am an utterly stupid, big mouthed cow, I know I am but this being nasty about my mum has gone on for months now and I was sick fed up of it.

sassyblue

No, OP you are sticking up for your mum against a two faced b*tch who was using and abusing your mum. I'd do the same and if it's been going on for months hardly a one off you could turn a blind eye to, BUT can you trust your ex that this woman really did say those things?

Notsosharp

sassyblue wrote: »

No, OP you are sticking up for your mum against a two faced b*tch who was using and abusing your mum. I'd do the same and if it's been going on for months hardly a one off you could turn a blind eye to, BUT can you trust your ex that this woman really did say those things?

In all probability she did, my ex takes great pleasure in telling me what an evil cow my mum is and what other people have been saying about her (truth be told she is a bit of a stirrer but she never tells anything but the truth).

Thinking about it my ex is just as bad as her for stirring if he's going around having these conversations with people and then telling me!!!!

*max*

Notsosharp wrote: »

In all probability she did, my ex takes great pleasure in telling me what an evil cow my mum is and what other people have been saying about her (truth be told she is a bit of a stirrer but she never tells anything but the truth).

Thinking about it my ex is just as bad as her for stirring if he's going around having these conversations with people and then telling me!!!!

And you're friends with your ex, why?

Anyone talking this way about my mum would get kicked out of my life pretty sharpish.

Notsosharp

*max* wrote: »

And you're friends with your ex, why?

Because you can be and I'm not one for holding grudges.

Person_one

Notsosharp wrote: »

Because you can be and I'm not one for holding grudges.

I don't think its 'holding grudges' to stay away from somebody who delights in being nasty about your family!

You can be friends with exes, but you don't have to be. They are usually exes for a good reason.

This whole thing sounds like a bunch of teenage girls, I'd just let them all get on with their !!!!!ing and gossiping and ignore it all, act like a grown up.

Notsosharp

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think its 'holding grudges' to stay away from somebody who delights in being nasty about your family!

You can be friends with exes, but you don't have to be. They are usually exes for a good reason.

This whole thing sounds like a bunch of teenage girls, I'd just let them all get on with their !!!!!ing and gossiping and ignore it all, act like a grown up.

I can, the problem is my Mum can't!

meritaten

has anyone else said anything about the charity shop lady? only you seem to be taking one persons word for all this.

I wouldn't have said anything to mum - be different if the charity shop lady had badmouthed your mum to YOU! but you are just passing along something your ex claims someone else said.

*max*

Notsosharp wrote: »

Because you can be and I'm not one for holding grudges.

I wasn't questioning you being friends with your ex because he's your ex - I was questioning it because he's a bit of a tw4t.

Notsosharp

meritaten wrote: »

has anyone else said anything about the charity shop lady? only you seem to be taking one persons word for all this.

I wouldn't have said anything to mum - be different if the charity shop lady had badmouthed your mum to YOU! but you are just passing along something your ex claims someone else said.

No I know in all likelihood it was said, it's a small town and I think it's common knowledge by everyone (apart from my mum) that mum isn't well liked.

Truth be told the charity shop lady would have said it because my ex used to volunteer there and when we initially broke up he was going round badmouthing both my mum and I to all and sundry and anyone else who would listen. They've only ever really known my ex's version of events and they haven't heard half of what both me and my mum had to put up with, for instance the injunction I had to have taken out against him because he was threatening to kill me and a friend.

I'm regretting not saying anything at the time it all kicked off now but I just wanted it all to go away.

Soleil_lune

*max* wrote: »

I wasn't questioning you being friends with your ex because he's your ex - I was questioning it because he's a bit of a tw4t.

^^^ This. I would challenge the charity shop lady and ask if she said it, and if so, why, when she wanted her to work at the shop. Doesn't add up somehow.