what do i do about my daughters school?

poe.tuesday

it's a shame that schools should have to have security guards, these sodding kids have no fear as there is never any comeback on their behavour

Mrs_A_4

Maybe if fewer parents were modelling violent behaviour as a way to sort out disagreements, then a generation of children would not think it was OK to beat each other up too...:rolleyes:

RibAd

Why should your child be the one missing from school or fearing school? Isn't giving her all this "Time off" giving the wrong message that it's ok to hide from someone that you're scared of? I can understand in the event of safety...but surely that's saying it's ok to run from your problems rather than confont them?

Giving your child kick boxing/judo lessons would be a good confidence builder as well as giving your child something practical, sporty, energetic, useful and competition and a social outlet. At least she'll develop some skills to help herself stand up to horrid bullies.

I just want to add something though, I remember one girl at school who was not a very nice person when within her social grop nicknamed "The Blonde B*****s" (so called as they all dyed their hair bleach blonde and absolute moos when together) but each indiviual were quite nice people. She tormented a few people at school, but never me and I remember one night in the summer after we finished school, while I was walking between pubs, I witnessed her boyfriend punching her in the face and shoving her to the ground. I helped her up and made sure she was ok. Just a reminder that maybe the bully's life isn't that great and may be an underlying reason for their behaviour.

daisy_doughnut_2

hi all thanks for the support

i feel the school has up to now apart from one teacher being arkward taken the right steps

the condition of the asbo is hard to explain

imagine an estate quiet big off a moterway roundabout with only one way off and on
the school is at the back of this estate
so the child has been told to stay off the school road and grounds an also the road on which all the children catch the bus from
now there are 2 more bus stops past the 1st one and many more roads on the estate where my dd could be targeted

teacher said that if she is caught breaking the asbo then she will be arrested but it only taks mere seconds to inflict physicle harm and mintes for the police to arrive

so my fear is my dd can not get off the estate with out being within reach of this girl

the one teacher who is the head off all years is the one gone out of her way to help and offer to bring dd home its the head above her that says no

im going to look in to self defence classes as it may help her with her self asteam an confidence an curb her self harming a little

my decision ive come to is im going to call the school tommoro and tell them not ask that im going to keep her of for the next week or so they can autherise them or not but request work sent home then reavaluate the situ then
i know ile be breaking the law but im doing it for the saftey of my dd even the school admits to being intimidated by this girl so if i get in trouble ile fight my corner with the authorities surely they will see im trying to find a compromise in this difficult situ for the short term

thanks every one

DD x

arlybarly

mrs a
maybe if we stopped being so politically correct all the time on these kids and gave them a good slap when needed and teachers didnt reward bad behaviour because they are scared of the idiots they have to teach and reward the good kids (my son has just took 2 gcses 2 years early at 14 boast boast) we wouldnt be in such a mess, yes i will always stick uop for my children, who else is going to, the teacher? I do not condone violence but if some kid is threatening my babies then usually a quiet word in the mom or dads ear i found has stopped my kids gettin picked on cause the kids know they have a mom who gives a s..t.

RibAd

I think you need to do what you feel necessary to assure your child is safe.

In thinking more on the situation, while you have a head teacher that is willing to help out and proctect your daughter, so to speak, the overall head is probably worried about the implications for this teacher and the school. If the rumour is true that the 15yr old is not particularly nice and quite violent, maybe there's a thought that they may strike out against the school? Or it may be the case that the don't want to give preferential treatment to one student regardless of the seriousness of the situation and instead to follow whatever guidelines that they can.

Regarding removing your child from the school altogether... Outside of the bully issue, you've mentioned that your daughter is self harming... if you're considerin removing her from the school, talk it out with your daughter and see if you can probe further into it. Maybe she'll meet some new friends at the self defence that may already be in her school that she might not know well or others from another school that could potentially be her new school?

Meatballs

This is harassment and it is a police matter?

Schools dont have any power over individuals that dont go there?

I would try approaching the parents of both the girl you had an argument with and the parent of the 15yr old - even if you just phone them up. Although they may now be angry over the ASBO (or proud of it).

Could you arrange to walk to and from school with a group of other parents?

Hapless_2

IF you are not sending your child to school under authorised absence, beware the truancy officer. Make sure you get a letter from the school saying that the absence is authorised.
If you do not want your daughter to go back to the school (i.e. home educate for a while) then there are steps which must be taken to ensure proper deregistration takes place.
Contact Education Otherwise if that is the step you want to take. Even if you deregister your child, it does not prejudice her being reregistered at a later time.
http://www.education-otherwise.org/

Lillibet_2

You need to do 2 things. Firstly threatening physical harm is an offence, report the situation to the police. They probably won't do anything at this stage but if the threat continues or the ASBO is breached then they have a record of the history.

Secondly, a school is responsible for the safety of it's pupils until they reach parental care : this means until they arrive home or a parent/nominated person collects them, remind the school of this responsibilty & get them to discuss matters further. Whilst I agree it is not suitable for a teacher to be taking your child home, apart from the insurance implications which are already covered there are many more issues here, but surely they could provide a member of staff at the bus stop until ALL the pupils are safely onto the bus or something in these circumstances.

Finally, I'd write a letter to your board of governers/LEA outlining your problem and that you may be forced to temporialy withdraw your daughter if her safety cannot be considered. Hinting that you may take the issue to your local press "to ensure that no other parents are in the same position" usually makes them pay attention!

Good luck;)

meluca

Hi Daisy
I've just been reading through this post and my heart goes out to you and your DD.I don't want to sound critical or judgemental but as a parent my first priority would be to get your dd help for (as you say) her low self esteem and most importantly her self harming, if the school are aware of the problem then ask them to refer her to Camhs, or this can be done through your gp.As for the situation of the girl that is bullying her - ask the school can she leave early to get an earlier bus. I would ask for a meeting with the Headteacher and the EWO and see what can be suggested between the three of you. In the meantime keeping her off school may be the only option (asking for work home) for health reasons.
I don't know what sort of help you are getting at the moment but http://www.youngminds.org.uk/camhs/ might be worth looking at.
Good Luck