what do i do about my daughters school?

daisy_doughnut_2

hi there all

i will start from the begining an try an make it all understandable

i chose my daughters school as it was the best for my area it used to be the worsed but has had a lot of money poured in to it in the last few years

a few weeks ago she had a silly disagreement in school with a fellow pupil but it was all sorted out and forgoten

but it seems that this other child has told a member or a horrid family that it wasnt an a child of 15 from this family has ben thratening my daughter since
she doesnt attend the same school she actually doesnt attend any school

i kept my daughter off for a few days as this girl was waiting at the schhol gates or bus stoop for her an she was scared

i had a meeting with the head who assured me that if i got her to school safetly they would have a teacher bring her home

see the school is on an estate where the horrid family live

last thursday the 15yr old appeared in court for an asbo to keep her away from the school and the bus stop

the school seem to now think that my dd will have no trouble but its still a 5 min walk to the bus stop and im sorry but this family do not abide by any law but there own even an asbo wouldnt stop them so my argument is that she is still not safe to leave the school grounds alone

i dont even think me picking her up would prevent this family from not harming her

the school now say that they do not have the provision to takr her home and i cant afford a taxi every day so i told them that she would not be coming to school as they assured me and my daughter last week that this would be the case

have i over reacted bearing in mind this family is notorious for fighting an severly harming people

my daughter can not leave the estate where they live with out a bus that she has to walk to

im in such a state i dont know what to do apart from sending her to a different school

DD x

outrageous_monkey

Hiya Daisy

First off, dont give yourself too much a hard time for protecting your child. (((((((hugs))))))) As parent we would move heaven and earth to protect our children. Your daughter must have been terrified to see this other girl waiting for her outside school.


I'm not sure what your school policy on this would be. If your insistant that your daughter isnt going back to school, then phone the LEA and see what they advice. CAB is another way of getting advice quickly.

I really wish you the best of luck in this.

Zara33

Daisy tbh i think in this day and age whoever promised you that a teacher would take your child home lied, i suspect that it would be very unethical.

Would it be totally impossible for you to go into school and collect her yourself?

By taking your daughter out of this school then the bully wins.

I agree that the school should not be providing a taxi for her.

poe.tuesday

I have just spent over a year fighting the bullies at my daiughters primary school, the school has done nothing and the family of the bullies are vile creatures, simular to the ones you are dealing with

after all thsi time nothing has changed so I am removing my children from the school, I am sick of fighting with them so it's now time for the easy option, which i think will be a relief for everyone, what I am saying is that sometimes it's just easier all round to move them as the fighting doesn;t actually get you anywhere

I would also suggest you get your daughter into self defence classes, this will do wonders for her

as regards to this girl, have you spoken to the family of the child that your daughter originally fell out with? perhaps they could have a word with this other girl adn tell her to leave your daughter alone or maybe you should just go to the family of the girl yourself and explain what is going on - you may be intimidated by this family that's why I suggest you speak to the girls family that your daughter initailly fell out with to help

do the police know as well, if not, tell them, get an incident number etc

personally, if it was me, I would scare the living daylights out of this girl, this is obviously the only way she knows how to communicate, but if I was going to take this route I would make sure she never knew who is was, you have to do whatever you have to do to protect your family and if the bullies are above the law then sometimes you have to take drastic action to stop them

good luck and get your daughter into a martial arts lesson as soon as

nats3006

yeh stop them whilst you can and good luck
(((hugs)))

daisy_doughnut_2

thanks all

apparently 1 teacher at the school who has been really helpfull got an added insurance on her car insurance to take my daughter home
but another teacher who is slightly above her has said that its ridiculas an it will not be happening

i dont expect the school to be a taxi service but me an my daughter were assured that they would see she got home safe

the school can not gaurentee this tho when she leaves the school grounds alone even tho the bully has an asbo it only protects herfrom school to the first bus stop

i phoned the education welfare people who have suggested trying to ask the school to give her authorised abenses and send work home im quiet happy for this but i have a feeling that the teacher that disallowed the lift home will not go for it i dont understand this teacher maybe she doesnt have children her self i dont know but surely she can see how this is upseting my daughter i mean she just wrote a referal letter for me to the childrens hospital as my dd is a self harmer which this situation isnt helping at all at 13 she is living quite a stress full life an it shouldnt be this was

thanks

DD x

daisy_doughnut_2

zara
i could pick her up my self but this family is awfull and i dont think my presence would stop them i dont drive an cant afford a taxi each day

poe.tuesday

I think you need to speak to the school about the teacher's offer of taking your daughter home, I feel that it is the teachers decission what she does out of school hours and no really anything to do with the school but you should check with the school/headteacher first, it certaily is not up to the other teacher to decide and as far as I know, the only heirachy in schools are the depty and head teacher but I may be wrong.

I think it's nice that this teacher has offered and I see no reason why it can not be accommodated

Penny-Pincher!!

What was the condition of her ASBO?

PP
xx

TheWaltons_3

I think this is absolutely disgraceful.

I know what it is like to be bullied and I remember being so terrified to leave school because the local thugs were 'gonna get me'.

Your Daughter will naturally be scared, and this will interfere with her school work.

I know it's not ideal, but I would want my child to be happy and if this meant home schooling for a short time then changing schools, so be it.

arlybarly

hiya daisy
wont bore all of you with the details but my 12 year old was bullied by a gang of girls at school a few weeks ago (she wouldnt hang out with them as they were always gettin into trouble) anyway im the sort to go round each individual parents house and offer them out (done this before and sometimes it works) but another girl had been bullied at the school by the same gang and one of the gangs brothers beat up the other victims brother with a gang of mates (HARD AINT THEY NOT) anyway my dd was terrified theyd do thta to her elder brother if i wacked their moms so to cut a long story short she now goes to kickboxing twice a week and we havent told a soull at school, it has made her more confident and that is what these kids need is confidence so if i was you i would get her into some form of kickboxing ect. good luck and dont worry, keep her off school until u know the school is taking steps to insure her safety. at our secondary school we have teachers and security guards outside morning and night so this nips any trouble in the bud, why dont all secondary schools do this i dont know.
chin up xx