How much would you/have you spent to attend a Hen do?

Kildare

kittendothroar wrote: »

It was a lot tbh but as Bridesmaid I didn't feel I had much choice..

This is why I felt I had to go the weekend away earlier this year - for some reason if you're a bridesmaid (not Maid of Honor) you are pressured into being there for the whole weekend. Even if the bride knows its not your cup of tea. I was happy to help my friend with her wedding preparations and I was there for her all day on her wedding day (unlike the MOH who was too hung over morning of the wedding to be bothered), but felt really pressured about the hen do

I agree with the other posters in that we should all be able to say 'no, your my friend but it's not my cup of tea', but its really hard sometimes

Person_one

Kildare wrote: »

This is why I felt I had to go the weekend away earlier this year - for some reason if you're a bridesmaid (not Maid of Honor) you are pressured into being there for the whole weekend. Even if the bride knows its not your cup of tea. I was happy to help my friend with her wedding preparations and I was there for her all day on her wedding day (unlike the MOH who was too hung over morning of the wedding to be bothered), but felt really pressured about the hen do

I agree with the other posters in that we should all be able to say 'no, your my friend but it's not my cup of tea', but its really hard sometimes

I don't know, for a friend so close that you're a bridesmaid, if the only reason you don't want to go is that its not your 'cup of tea' then I think there's a lot to be said for just sucking it up and getting on with it. Its not much time out of your life for someone who's a good friend to you.

Its different if you can't afford it, if you have other commitments, if you would find it genuinely distressing etc etc. but if its just that its not your ideal way to spend your time...

Kildare

Person_one wrote: »

I don't know, for a friend so close that you're a bridesmaid, if the only reason you don't want to go is that its not your 'cup of tea' then I think there's a lot to be said for just sucking it up and getting on with it. Its not much time out of your life for someone who's a good friend to you.

Its different if you can't afford it, if you have other commitments, if you would find it genuinely distressing etc etc. but if its just that its not your ideal way to spend your time...

I do understand your point, but on the other hand what kind of close friend doesn't appreciate that someone doesn't want to spend an entire weekend with a group of people they don't know who's idea of a good time is getting drunk out of their minds and picking fights with bouncers.

In an ideal world we'd all be able to turnaround and say "I love you but I really can't stand going to clubs and watching people get drunk" and our friends would totally understand.

sulphate

scottishminnie wrote: »

and that, to me is the important thing. It's a choice for people whather they go. No bride has the right to demand or expect anyone to come to her hen night - cheap or otherwise.
I think it's unfair to begrudge them an expensive holiday because it "prevented "them from going to a hen night. As I see it their holiday and other nights out were prioritised over a hen night which is absolutely their perogative to do. Likely to be mine also.

Fair enough but I would always prioritise a friend's hen night over just another night out.

Any wrote: »

It was their nice way of saying that they are not that bothered about your activities and if it stops them going on nice holidays with your family they will not do it.
Or they just didn't want to go.

The point is, it is their money, their life and their time.

As you say, they could if they wanted to. They obviously weren't that bothered.

Not all people came to mine. But I didn't expect them all to come to be honest. It just wasn't their thing or they couldn't go.

Fair enough, but again, I would always "be bothered" to go to a friend's hen party as long as it wasn't extortionate.

Person_one wrote: »

How much did it cost?

It is a bit self centred to plan something so expensive people would have to budget for it, and then get upset with them when they aren't willing to.

Lots of people get married every single week, of course its a special and once in a lifetime event for the bride and groom, but it usually isn't for the guests.

You must not have read my entire post... As I said - I had 2 parts to my hen do - a spa day that cost £50, and a meal out that cost whatever people wanted to pay, probably between £10-£20 depending on what they chose.... Some people came to both, others to one or the other depending on what they were available for/what they could afford. As I said, I deliberately made my hen party budget friendly. A couple of other girls couldn't make it because they genuinely couldn't afford it which I understood, my point was that the "I can't afford it" is often used as an excuse when people don't want to make the effort or can't be bothered. And obviously I know that my wedding isn't super special to anyone except us! :rotfl:

Lunar_Eclipse

About £150 for hotel & activities, plus dinner and drinks, several years ago.

Not my idea of fun nor financial priority, but sometimes it's worth it for the friendship.