Kate's Journey

Kate_fixing_it

Tuesday morning and I'm on the way up!

Yesterday was so all consuming, not really sure how I got through it! I was so nervous going back to work after my meltdown last week. Only my boss and "work hubby" even knew that it happened but I was in the (now familiar) hurricane of emotion.

Work hubby did the driving including the school runs, kept the vultures away throughout the work day and even came with me at lunchtime to the bank. I need to go back today for my 30 minute appointment and the lady I spoke to was fantastic.

By 6pm I really needed my bed and if I'd sat down I doubt I'd have moved again so I pushed on through with baths, BFG reading and lunch making and collapsed into the sofa around 9.

So here we are. Another day, another opportunity. I'm in pain but it's manageable. Still no car but work hubby is driving again today which means I can max out on painkillers, DH is off to London tomorrow for the rest of the week so the need to buy groceries has reduced, the co-op meeting is at 12.30 and there's nothing else immediately pressing to be done. I can focus on coasting through the day at work and getting back to being me.

Another surprise turn of events is the company paying for smoking cessation. I've cut back more than half but can't quite shift the final few. A lot of people in the office have signed up so there's an air of competition. As I'm stupidly competitive I'm going for it - this might be the crutch I need and the money saved will be most welcome. I'm not about to be beaten. I don't want to link this in to debt repayments but it can be one more step towards a new life. D-day is Monday.

So once again nothing major has happened but it feels like the world has turned upside down.

Onwards and upwards!

Kate x

Kate_fixing_it

Bank account is done! Co-op were fabulous, account manager is going to call me with confirmation that it's open on Thursday...DMP is go!

Car situation is also improving. The lovely garage did a car health check and £100s we expected to get it through the MOT is actually only £130. DH is picking it up today and will do the current repairs meaning the £270 bill is reduced to £72 and I will be independently mobile again next week.

The relief I'm experiencing right now is immense! I'm so looking forward to everything being up and running so I can start the new phase of my life.

Kate x

Puzzcat

Great news on the co-op and the car Kate, that dmp will soon be up and running and you will have one of these on your face...!

Kate_fixing_it

Puzzcat wrote: »

Great news on the co-op and the car Kate, that dmp will soon be up and running and you will have one of these on your face...!

I've got a little one starting already Puzzcat Step change information has arrived! In all the stress I'd forgotten how generous their budget was! Early night for me and then tomorrow a proper sit down and read through.

I'm actually starting to feel a bit excited about the future now. DH has obviously accepted the situation as he seemed pleased that the ball is rolling. He's off to London in the morning and will be back Friday evening. Due back again on Monday at 8am but planning to go Sunday night to avoid the traffic - starfish sleeping here I come!

Just one little stress today, DS2 fell at school and has big grazes on his face and knee. He got quite emotional at pick up time so I'm allowing a mid-week wii session to cheer him up and no one is going to be harmed if we have two BFG chapters and a big cuddle tonight. That's my favourite part of my day still to come

Kate x

beanielou

Sounds like it is all falling into place.
Hurrah.

Skinnylatte

That's a massive weight off your shoulders, I'm very happy for you, may you run of good fortune continue x

Kate_fixing_it

What a week! Total roller coaster of emotions and I can see now I've been absolutely vile to work with - apologies all round tomorrow morning

Home life has been a struggle. DH was away, I've had to rely on work hubby for transportation and I've been exhausted. I slipped into a habit of feeding the kids and running around (as best I can) while they eat and then collapsing on the sofa when the little ones are in bed with something simple. Thank god I was sticking to SW or I'd be in a worse mess. Speaking of which I lost 2.5lb and was awarded slimmer of the week and a huge bag of fruit - saved a trip to the shops Not bad for a target member and I'm half a pound under target and had a great evening with friends.

Car is still on axle stands on the drive. It took four grown men 5 HOURS to get the broken part out! Talk about German precision engineering! Hopefully it'll be back together today but it's like a 3D mensa jigsaw!

Co-op account is open! Debit card arrived yesterday and set off a whole new spiral of "am I doing the right thing" and self questioning and guilt. Ended up close to tears with all the "mechanics" in and out of the house. I decided the best way to disguise it was chopping onions (for whatever reason I just couldn't seem to stop) and I now have enough SW curry sauce and a vat of leek and potato soup for the week ahead. That should put a stop to the bad eating habits and cooking allowed me to bash out my emotions.

DH is off to London again tonight until tomorrow and likely to be off again on Wednesday or Thursday. He's doing really well at the new job, I just need to get used to the time dealing with the family alone. The time apart seems to be having a great effect on him, that paired with me making moves to deal with the debt has massively improved things at home.

So, my plan for the week ahead? Eat right, get the kids organised, send everything off to step change and get the letters to the creditors written. Then sit tight until the 25th when the first payment is due. On my lighter moments I've even been considering a trip to see the dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum. Both little ones are desperate to go since watching the David Attenborough programme at Christmas and in my good moments I can see that it's really possible just the small hurdle of getting this leg fixed (4 weeks 2 days ) and by the summer holidays it can be planned and become a reality.

The future is going to be fantastic, I just have to keep that focus front and centre.

Kate x

beanielou

Yes, hold onto the thought of a fantastic future

in_need_of_direction

Honestly Kate, the difference my improving mobility has made post op is amazing. You really don't realise just how far down you were dragged until things start to pick up. Come summer you won't know yourself. Just go easy on yourself for those 4 weeks, 2 days in the meantime

Kate_fixing_it

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Honestly Kate, the difference my improving mobility has made post op is amazing. You really don't realise just how far down you were dragged until things start to pick up. Come summer you won't know yourself. Just go easy on yourself for those 4 weeks, 2 days in the meantime

Thank you, I'm so worried it won't help and the pain will be worse I've followed doctor's orders to the letter and I've just been unlucky I guess. The CRPS has flared up again so I'm doing the desensitisation exercises but that takes time to take effect. It's very painful today but that's my own fault, I got so down about being a codeine-zombie and I needed to drive yesterday so didn't take the full dose. The combination of driving a manual car (painful no matter how short the trip), letting pain relief levels drop and trying to keep up to my usual pace really takes it's toll. There's only so much ice and rest can do to help and pain doesn't help my state of mind.

DH is elbow deep in car fixing now so I'm going to make a quick trip to Iceland and Lidl then it's painkillers and kiddie-cuddles. I think 101 Dalmatians might be in order and maybe a chocolatey treat. I've been off alcohol for 3 weeks now (it doesn't help my mood or my pocket) so I can afford a few extra calories

As you said, my life is going to be so different by the summer but for now a bit of cosseting (without spending ) won't hurt anyone.

Kate x