Kate's Journey

Muser1

Hugs Kate hope you are doing ok. X

Kate_fixing_it

Hi all,

I'm back with a bit more time to post now He's away working and in all honesty the atmosphere at home is much better. I'm doing exactly as instructed and looking after ME. we're having an easy dinner of beans or spaghetti on toast in front of a movie and after the little ones are in bed I'm breaking out the posh bubble bath, the secret chocolate stash and not coming out of the bathroom until I have the wrinkles of a 90 year old

As predicted I'm utterly exhausted. I had my year end figures in by lunchtime and spent the afternoon preparing for my year end career review which needs to be done before I go on sick leave (8 work days to go :eek:). I rarely get away from the office before 5 but left at 4 today and intend to do the same all week. The only pressing work issue is making sure that instructions on how to do my job are up to date for my cover and I'm making good progress with that.

I'm still very up and down about the situation between DH and I but a thread on the main board really made me see things from another perspective this morning. I was incredibly angry at the OH of the poster and her situation virtually mirrored my own. It's given me a new clarity on my own situation and the guilt has got to go - I know some of you have been telling me that for months but it's sunk in at long last! It's no longer about whether he accepts any responsibility, the simple fact is that he IS partially responsible, as am I. I am going to be debt free eventually, no matter how long it takes. If he doesn't want to be a part of it that's his choice but I will not accept any more of the recriminations or tantrums. We said "for richer, for poorer", "for better, for worse" and "in sickness and in health". I meant it, his choices have to be made by him.

Now I'm off, I have a date with the princess and the frog and my family.

Kate x

in_need_of_direction

lucky you to not already have the wrinkles of a 90 year old

enjoy your evening

Kate_fixing_it

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

lucky you to not already have the wrinkles of a 90 year old

enjoy your evening

Just an 85 year old the grey hairs however...

beanielou

Keep plodding

Kate_fixing_it

Today's question of the day... WHY ME?

You'd really think the universe would take turns in dumping on people but I'm pretty certain I must keep rolling sixes for another turn in the game of life!

Just when I thought a good day had arrived (easy-ish day at work, DH home later to share the load, DS1 award ceremony at school tonight) something happens. DD2 gets sick at school.

It doesn't sound like much but she rarely gets more than a sniffle (thankfully), however, she has a condition where she can't metabolise body fat stores. With a sick bug the body's normal reaction is to use up fat stores in the body as fuel, we lose a little weight but we get better. DD2 doesn't do that. She rapidly goes downhill (last time it was less than an hour from sick to unresponsive), her blood sugar drops and she has to be drip fed glucose solution. So a call from the school is a race to avert it and sheer panic. The call came as my painkillers kicked in and suddenly I was more alert than if I'd had 6 espressos!

I've spent the last hour force feeding her sugary drinks and trying to warm her up (she can't regulate her body temperature either when it happens). Poor thing could barely walk to the car (20 yards) but she now seems okay. I am just starting to breathe properly again. It's unbelievably hard to appear calm when it's happening. I just seem to go into auto-pilot. The panic is subsiding now and just leaving me with a shivery and sick aftermath.

Seriously, why me? I feel so stupid for getting so panicked about it! I didn't even tell work what was happening, just a garbled "tell boss I've gone, sick child" message as he was in a meeting. It's beginning to feel like I'm a character in Eastenders - just lurching from one disaster to the next! I really shouldn't have driven but my only concern was a tunnel vision "I have to get to my child".

I've got her into some PJs now (she couldn't do it herself) and she seems a bit more alert already but I am not leaving her side, even if I do have to sit here watching Care Bears movies all day. I feel so sorry for my boss, he's been nothing but supportive and I run out on him while he's in a 30 minute meeting! Definitely going to owe him a coffee when I go back into the office.

On the bright side, I'm not in the least concerned about any other problems, even my pain levels seem reduced and I was really suffering this morning.

I'm just going to breathe deeply, sit here providing cuddles and try to not fall asleep once the adrenaline wears off. Maybe tomorrow I'll get my good day.

Kate x

Skinnylatte

Kate, what a rubbish run of luck you're having just now, I guess it puts other stuff in perspective. I can't think of anything to say except enjoy the snuggling and carebears while you can, and rest, like you told me!!

Kate_fixing_it

Skinnylatte wrote: »

Kate, what a rubbish run of luck you're having just now, I guess it puts other stuff in perspective. I can't think of anything to say except enjoy the snuggling and carebears while you can, and rest, like you told me!!

Thanks Skinnylatte we're on our 3rd movie already and she's asked for food luckily she recovers from these episodes as quickly as she succumbs to them. I'm absolutely wrung out though! Really looking forward to when the tables turn and good things start happening.

On the subject of good news (if you can call it good) tax credits have written again about the overpayment. They calculate it as £2058 :eek: the good part is that they are taking it from the 2014/15 award. This means that from Monday they'll be paying again - £20 a week. Doesn't seem like much but it actually means my payments to step change will be £128 a month instead of £48 and if nothing else changes my DFD goes from 18 years 8 months to 7 years 11 months assuming all interest is frozen. Certainly not to be sneezed at! Of course this doesn't consider that over the next 7 years tax credits will drop as teens will not be eligible to claim for and child care won't be needed for little ones but both of those scenarios are at least two or three years away. There's also the potential to increase income and bring my DFD closer still

Kate x

summer33

Kate

I have just read your diary and feel I have to comment. I find your journey truely inspiring with the ups and downs you have experienced.

I myself am deciding whether to go on a DMP, and at the moment just dont know what to do??? I have started a diary too, but dont know if doing it my way will clear the debts

I wish you the best of luck for the future and will deffo be following your progress

Thanks for your diary it has been helpful in what I am currently going through.

xx

in_need_of_direction

I know it seems like it never rains but it pours but here's a thought. If you hadn't had a chill night last night, how much harder would it have been to deal with today's upset? Sometimes, the universe gets the timing right!