Kate's Journey

in_need_of_direction

Kate. I'm not sure how things stand now but it used to be that if you notified a change that impacted on benefits, but that wasn't actioned, an element could be considered as official error for which repayment cannot be sought. Do you have a record of when and how the notification was made? If so, pm me and hopefully I can help draft the letter

beanielou

Great news the dreaded V card Kate.
Not so good on tax credits but don't beat yourself up & remember that you are a much better position than before.

Kate_fixing_it

Thank you both.

Things have deteriorated - or rather I have. I arrived at work and my car decided to have some sort of incontinence problem. Pink liquid came out the bottom of the engine and a cloud of steam came out the top.

it was the proverbial straw that broke the donkey's back. It's a bloody car but I couldn't stop crying and shaking. I called the garage we always use (we used to live next door to them) and they suspect it's the radiator or a broken pipe. They were fantastic, I cancelled my breakdown cover to save money so they arranged recovery and took me home. In the meantime my boss came down and sat with me. He said the fatal words "Are you okay?" The floodgates opened and I completely fell apart. I ended up telling him all about my breakdown two years ago, the debts, my marriage and all the work issues before he took over. He told me to go home, rest and if I felt up to it do a little work later. I'm not sure the poor bloke knew what hit him!

I got home and tried to log on and we have no internet! Cue meltdown number two by 10.30am

So I turned to the one person that always makes me calmer and always helps, my "baby" brother. He is amazing, after a 45 minute chat about nuclear war (lol) I was calm again. He's coming over for dinner and he's going to pick the kids up too. Stress seems to escalate my pain and I'm more easily stressed when I'm in pain - a very vicious cycle.

And then to top it off I hadn't noticed the answer machine blinking, the hospital called and I have a date. 15th April. In many ways that day is perfect, second day of Easter holidays so no school runs to navigate, mid-month and after the financial year ends so the most convenient time with regards to work but very unexpected and although it's news I wanted to hear I'm a bit shell shocked. It all seems very real now.

By 11.30 I was about ready to crawl under the bed and give up but that's going to get me nowhere. So one problem at a time, I can deal with the shivering and pain so I've spent the last hour in a hot bath with the posh bubble bath I was saving for a special occasion. Admittedly today isn't special but I needed a bit of coddling and it helped so there's a small win straight away.

I don't think I have enough fight in me to deal with anything else right now. I can't do anything about the car until the garage calls with a diagnosis. I can't do anything about the tax credits until they tell me what they're going to do and I can't do anything about the internet being off. So I'm going to focus on what I can do, I can be nice to myself and give myself a break. Nobody is going to be hurt if I take a few hours for myself to regroup and recharge.

And when I've got answers about the things that are out of my control I can figure out what to do next. It's not just debt problems that can always be solved, there has to be an answer to all this too, I just need to find it.

inneedofdirection: thank you for your kind offer of help, as soon as I know where I stand I will be taking you up on it.

I appreciate everyone's support so much, thank you all a million times.

Kate x

beanielou

Big huggles kate

Fortune_Smiles

Take care Kate. Dodgy hugs at the ready :grouphug:

Fortune x

in_need_of_direction

Today is a special day. It's the day when turning your health around seems possible. You've got a date. The other things can be dealt with. I won't go so far to tell you to be happy but do try and be grateful for the date!

Kate_fixing_it

Thank you all. I've been mollycoddled and looked after. A friend of a friend has been asked for advice about the tax credits as he works for HMRC and he's given me some really good advice on what to do (off the record ) Car is still poorly and no word yet.

I'm still feeling very down but little brother stayed over, he's taking the kids to school and I'm going to work from home. I just don't feel up to putting on the "work face" and dealing with people. Telling someone everything in one go was so draining but it's done me good - better out than in! I don't want my problems to be an excuse for bad behaviour but having someone else to talk to and understand that sometimes I need a bit more support is a massive relief. The fact that he had absolutely no idea there was anything going on means a lot to me in a way, I'm always worried about not doing my job but that's not the case and now I have a new support network in place.

So despite everything the world didn't end because I opened up. I'm not feeling great but I have people who I can lean on and I can only get stronger from here.

Kate x

Skinnylatte

Aaaw Kate, I'm sorry you've had such a rough time of late. We keep going and are so strong, dealing with everything that comes out way, and I don't think we see how much is on our shoulders sometimes. Then it takes some-one to say 'Are you OK' and we realise we're not, because normally we don't think about if we're ok, it takes some-one else's innocent comment to make us consider that.
You're doing exactly the right thing, there's no point stressing about what you can't control right now, so focus your energy on being kind to your self, you deserve it and it will do you the world of good.
I had a wobble last week, exactly the same, my boss said 'are you ok?' and I just burst into tears and told him about DD, my cyst and my car broke down too!! Why is it the car that's the final straw lol.
At times I think we need to stop looking at the big picture, sometimes it's too big, the future hasn't happened yet, so focus on the present.
Oopps better get off.
Hugs and take care
S x

tattycath

(((Hugs))) Kate.

Kate_fixing_it

Thank you all. I'm slowly picking myself up. I went to SW last night as it's always a social night with lots of support (and I'd stuck to plan) and I stayed the same however, I was awarded the Greatest Loser 2014 - the irony isn't lost on me

Garage called and it's a broken pipe! Great news (I think!) and here comes the "but" my car is an audi. We bought it over a year ago from a friend very cheaply (about 30% of market value) and spent the same on getting it right, it's a fantastic car and no trouble until now however, parts prices are extortionate! The garage are ringing around to get the pipe cheaper but we're looking at £200 for the entire bill I winced a little at that - debt 2 wouldn't be going this month but it'd be okay - after all tax credits ALWAYS take 2-3 weeks to make any adjustments.

WRONG!!! I checked the bank and in pending transactions I can see child benefit and no weekly payment. When they owe me it takes weeks, now I owe them and they manage to sort it in 2 days and stop payment! I haven't even got the letter yet! So if I was being melodramatic (and I was for a few minutes) I have £279 to last until 25th March from which I need to pay a £200+ garage bill and feed a family of 6 for three weeks. Then I stopped myself, the car is essential. I have children to get to school and I have to work but I can't walk more than 100 yards. The food is kind of important too! After stocking up last weekend I can pull the grocery spend right back but I can't create miracles.

I'm currently sat here waiting for the post and hoping the tax credit letter is there so I can call them and discuss options. Thankfully the advice I received explained that the repayment option is system generated, a computer sees I'm due abc for the year, I've been paid xyz which is greater and (quite logically really) stops any further payments. What I need to do is speak to a human being, explain the situation and ask for an alternative solution.

This could be the painkillers talking (or perhaps I'm delusional ) but I'm feeling hopeful that I can sort this out. All HMRC want is the overpayment back and I'm more than happy to give it back (there are plenty of people who are in far greater need than me) but I can't give them it right now and I'm certain that there is far more being repaid in a similar way I just need to deal with a person than a computer system.

so here I am, currently no worse off than yesterday in terms of facts and figures - nothing has changed yet - but I'm forewarned and therefore, forearmed. As clich!d as it sounds where there's life there's hope and I'm still alive!

Kate x