Where does my friend stand with his 7 month old baby?

will369

Hi guys,

Basically my friend, 22 years old was told 5 months ago that he has a 2 month old little girl.

It was abit of a shock to him. It was sort of a typical 1 night stand.

My friend has yet to meet his daughter. As the mother wants him to go through the courts as they can't seem to come to some sort of agreement.

Where should my friend start? Who should he speak to about advice?

Will court fees be expensive for him? He is in full te
Work btw

Thanks guys

fluffnutter

'The mother wants him to go through the courts'. What does this mean? What sort of agreement can't they come to? Are you talking about money? Does he deny paternity? Does he accept paternity but refuse to pay maintenance? Does he accept paternity, refuse to pay but want access and she's refusing? Does he accept paternity, happy to pay and wants access but she's refusing? What's her financial situation? Does she claim benefits? Work?

The threat of court is a weird thing to bandy about. If this is an issue about money, then it's the CSA that would be involved, not a court. If this is about access, then, yeah, maybe it would be a matter for courts. But she won't be able to get legal aid, he won't be able to either, so God knows they'd be stupid not to try to agree on something first.

Need to know much more detail before quality advice can be given.

*max*

I'm guessing she didn't tell him she was pregnant.

Two words: DNA test.

fluffnutter

You need to tell us whether he believes/knows the child is his or whether there's doubt in his mind. Until we (and he) knows this any advice would be like !!!!ing in the wind.

You don't go to court for a DNA test either. You go on Jeremy Kyle.

will369

Thanks for the replys guy.

I quote this from my friend

"Basically, say I found out she was pregnant about month still being with her and then I broke up with her cus me and her what not right for eachother at the time, she did cheat but said she only kissed one or two people but is 100% sure I was the only person she slept with when together, she won't let me see the baby cus she feels I wasn't the nicest to her being very selfish but will still send me photos, she will not meet me and she only lives in Torquay where as I live in Exeter she has told me her mum is full carer and that she has bi poler before when she was drunk.. I've tried to meet her text her ring but get no where, I don't think I can afford solicitors at this moment but would pay stuff for the baby as equal if I got to see her I was never violent or abusive to her so there is no reason for the solicitors"

fluffnutter

There isn't any need for solicitors, he's right there. But they do need to start talking. And he's probably wise to ask for a DNA test. Just being realistic. Is there anyone mutual that they both could talk to who might help them establish a better relationship? How long were they together? Does he know her mum at all?

*max*

So why did you say that he "was told 5 months ago he has a 2 months old little girl"?? It makes no sense!

He left her a month into her pregnancy, so he was aware she was pregnant, it's not like the pregnancy resulting in an actual baby would have come as a shock. I don't understand.

paulineb_2

*max* wrote: »

So why did you say that he "was told 5 months ago he has a 2 months old little girl"?? It makes no sense!

He left her a month into her pregnancy, so he was aware she was pregnant, it's not like the pregnancy resulting in an actual baby would have come as a shock. I don't understand.

He said she cheated, he may have thought the child wasnt his.

But I agree, doesnt really make sense. Also, she could have lost the child or chosen to end the pregnancy.

will369

I was wrong

will369

Another reply from my friend

"Basically say this, yes I do know her mum they are very twisted people they told me before she had the baby the words of her mum and dad they are all for me being there for it but said they don't need me as they have a big family. We do have mutual friends kinda but none I want to be involved, she blocks me on Facebook my number and everything whilst she was pregnant she was with another guy that she made her bf they later broke up after she had the baby, she is now with different guys and is only just turned 18yrs old"

will369

"Tell them I left her cus she got with a few of my friends and my mate showed me a picture of her boobs she sent to him, and I had them aswell so I broke up with her not because she was pregnant cus I didn't want her to be! And the baby looks like my little sister when she was a baby, her child is now 9months old"