Real-life MMD: Party-pooping payment request - should I pay up?

badgerwatchers

I'd check the invite or ask the parents - is a gift expected? If my child wanted a party of that expense I'd tell my child that if parents had to pay for their child to attend then my child certainly wouldn't be getting a present from the paying guest!! I'd also ensure guests could car share to attend if I couldn't offer transport too. But there again, I'd have spoken to invitees parents first to ensure they knew that!!

badgerwatchers

To add, we have paid to attend a restaurant party for a friend ' s 40 TH and a fantastic night was enjoyed by all, we all paid for the set meal, hosts paid for drinks, and gifts were most definitely not expected!!

ashleyriot

matthewfelgate wrote: »

I would probably say yes - some of my best memories from school years was going to friends birthday parties :-).

I doubt you forked out £25 for a bit of trampoline fun though, did you?

No way a birthday party should cost that much for each person - plus a present as well?

It's that downward spiral as well - it costs £25 this year and then £30 for someone else etc. etc.

Now if you could club together 5 or 6 children's birthdays and pick an arbitrary day for the fun that might be better...

happyinflorida

MSE will you stop this - put more information in your question - what type of party is this? Is it an expensive one that costs £25 and is every child in the class being invited and that's why there's a cost?

I would pay - I'd want my child to enjoy the fun to be had - if it's something that actually costs £25 and my child was going to get value for money! If not, then ask the parent giving the party, why they're charging so much money.

If they appear to think they can make money out of this - who knows, maybe this is some horrible parents idea of money making, then I'd not pay and send my child anyway, tell the parent you couldn't get any money out of the ATM you went to and say you'll give it to them later - that way your child gains and the parent who's a con artist is losing!

If they later chase you up for the money, tell them that your not happy with their idea of money making and if you're happy with it, don't ever pay them, I'd do that to teach them a lesson!

I'd still give the birthday child a present as well - maybe not as expensive as normal but I do think it's important for a child to have a present, something they like, if possible. I know some children are spoilt rotten and therefore I'd give them something they wouldn't normally get, like a painting kit or something science orientated to open up their mind to something different. If they hated it, at least I've tried!

romeroe

Absolutely no way I pay for a child to attend a birthday party. I have organised dozens of parties for my own children and would never dream of asking for contribution.

The only thing worse than being asked to contribute is being hit with a hidden bill after attendance... the bloody cheek!

mr-mixalot

I wouldn't definately not pay for any of my kids to attend

Who do the parents think they are, cheeky so and so's

duchy

So it is pretty safe to assume you don't have children.
Most parents wouldn't use their kids in the way you have suggested to make a point -they'd simply decline the invitation.
The way you want to do it would likely cause the child problems at school socially . There's plenty of perfectly nice children who never get invited to any playdates or (non paying ) parties because the parents are regarded as awful or dishonest or whatever.

Declining the invitation is the way to make it clear ...... and you can be pretty sure you won't be the only one.

I used to work as a manager at a bowling centre -birthday parties were big business and as my son's primary school was very local I'd often see groups I knew-it was very rare the whole class was invited (and there was one parent who was very embarrassed to discover I was running her party ....and she hadn't invited my son who was in her son's class LOL I didn't have a problem with it-her son wasn't the nicest child )

happyinflorida wrote: »

If they appear to think they can make money out of this - who knows, maybe this is some horrible parents idea of money making, then I'd not pay and send my child anyway, tell the parent you couldn't get any money out of the ATM you went to and say you'll give it to them later - that way your child gains and the parent who's a con artist is losing!

If they later chase you up for the money, tell them that your not happy with their idea of money making and if you're happy with it, don't ever pay them, I'd do that to teach them a lesson!

I'd still give the birthday child a present as well - maybe not as expensive as normal but I do think it's important for a child to have a present, something they like, if possible. I know some children are spoilt rotten and therefore I'd give them something they wouldn't normally get, like a painting kit or something science orientated to open up their mind to something different. If they hated it, at least I've tried!

pollypenny

Surely we have had a thread on the same topic earlier in the year? Or was it something to do with school?

The consensus was that it was a cheek to ask for such a payment?

sarah_loobylou

badgerwatchers wrote: »

To add, we have paid to attend a restaurant party for a friend ' s 40 TH and a fantastic night was enjoyed by all, we all paid for the set meal, hosts paid for drinks, and gifts were most definitely not expected!!

You make a good point, but I do think that adult 'parties' are different. If a group of you are going out for a meal, it makes sense to all chip in for that, which sounds like the situation you're describing... but a more traditional party with disco and buffet etc. is in my experience always paid for by the hosts!

eab170888

pollypenny wrote: »

Surely we have had a thread on the same topic earlier in the year? Or was it something to do with school?

The consensus was that it was a cheek to ask for such a payment?

I think it was to do with paying for teachers' presents at school, and the whole class being asked to contribute?