Husband wants to end it 30 wks pregnant and 2 kids

spacey2012

What a lot have overlooked is if he moves out and stops paying the mortgage, you are all homeless in 3 months.
You can not take that risk.

lisyloo

If they're from joint accounts

Credit cards are only issued to one person.
Sometimes there is a second card but that person is not liable, they are simply issued a card. The accounts holder is still liable.
Credit cards are never joint accounts.

lisyloo

What a lot have overlooked is if he moves out and stops paying the mortgage, you are all homeless in 3 months.

A woman with children (pregnant or not) will be high priority and will not get put left out on the streets.
Emergency accomodation perhaps.

angelsmomma

liammc2606 wrote: »

thanks everyone, that's the problem, I don't know what to do. To me, if I stay I'm poor and he has access whenever he wants and he is quite a bully, he never let me have a say in how to decorate, one of these DIY men that won't pay anyone else to do it cos he can do it himself but doesn't do it. The house has no carpet on stairs, all rooms need work DIY stuff, kitchen needs fitting properly, he redesigned the back garden and now there is a 4 ft drop splitting it which is not good for a toddler...the list goes on and on, and then there's a house done lovely with a nice little garden. He has a 50k plus salary, I'm 200 a week cos of kids which is fine I probably need re training but have 15 years experience in the Commercial Insurance industry. I am strongly leaning towards clean break, protect credit rating and go back to work after baby and eventually look for a house for me and deal with divorce after baby too. Am I setting myself up for a loss?? I don't know. xx

I agree with you, if it was me I would just cut my losses too and move to the rental near family for support. It is so little money to be fighting over.

Mojisola

angelsmomma wrote: »

I agree with you, if it was me I would just cut my losses too and move to the rental near family for support. It is so little money to be fighting over.

With the house in the state liammc describes, I think I'd walk away from it as well.

liammc - You can put your financial situation into the benefit checker - https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check - and see what you're entitled to. There's a good chance that you'll have more coming in from your OH but don't rely on that because it could stop at any time.

marisco_2

liammc2606 wrote: »

I'm in turmoil at the moment.

I think your feelings are completely understandable. How horrible for you to be coping with and facing so much. Your husband appears to be trying to play on your vulnerability right now. My advice would be to not rush into any decision, don't be brow beaten and seek legal advice so you know exactly where you stand and what you are entitled to. As hard as it may be try to keep things as amicable as you can. The more stable things are for the children the easier it will be for you long term. I feel for you and hope that you have the love and support of your family and friends to help you through this time.

clearingout

spacey2012 wrote: »

What a lot have overlooked is if he moves out and stops paying the mortgage, you are all homeless in 3 months.
You can not take that risk.

it takes longer than 3 months....you can hold off the mortgage company for quite some time by making adhoc payments and promises. My ex stopped paying our mortgage and it took 18 months before it was sold - he made some payments in the interim but eventually did a deal where we were allowed to sell it rather than having it repossessed.

OP - had similar happen to me. Ex left for another woman leaving me pregnant with our third child. I am 5 years on. Life is good but took a lot to get there. You sound sensible and determined so don't let him get the better of you but similarly, don't fight an argument you can't win. I would second looking seriously at wikivorce.com before making any decisions, as well as seeking legal advice. Good luck with it all - I found the third one easy once I'd got rid of the 'man child'!

sanfrancisco

I am so sorry that you are going through this. This man is despicable and you deserve so so much more.

I don't know much about the legalities (like others), but you will get a lot of support on the mumsnet relationship board. You will get emotional and practical support.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships

Lots of Love x

girlsmum

Firstly, dont rush into anything, he is an A**E (but then i have been through, and still going through this so slightly bitter).
You can get free 30 min of legal advice from some solicitors, give a few local ones a call. you have a legal claim on the house; although its not worth much now if you eventually move out and if he keeps it an finishes it in the future it will be worth more therefore think ahead.
you are entitled to financial assistance. The CAB will help, but they are likely to put you in touch with a free 30 min solicitor. so you might as well go directly to one.
but please dont rush into anything, you are pregnant have 2 other children to think about, but get actual facts before you do anything..

take care
X

Kris_Niederberger

I think you should listen to yourself and second priority you should give to advices given by your friends and family. If they are telling you to leave then you should think about it. I hope your friends and family will help you a lot.