Husband wants to end it 30 wks pregnant and 2 kids

DigForVictory

You are fighting for your children's home, a stable place for them, and a scrap of self respect.

Oh and anyone whose ever tried moving house whilst pregnant will back me up when I say "don't".

Read up, and hang on. Focus on the good stuff - baggage on board, for example. Also on how stunned he'll look when you lay a little learning on him & suggest *he* packs.

You got the numpty covering the phones at lunhctime - call back after 2 and ask for family law advice. If you can't take it all in, ask them to post it to you. If you aren't sure you're getting all your post, collect it in branch.

Errata

liammc2606 wrote: »

thanks, I phoned Barclays premier life legal advice and spoke to some young kid, he was awful and didn't know anything I have found you all more helpful and useful than them..so much for so called benefits. I best get reading and making an appointment. Just checked mortage outstanding is 117000 and next door can't even sell theres for 140000 and ours needs more work. 23k left, is it worth fighting for? Our debt is more than 23k between more like (embarassed to admit) 40k?

Given those figures, your's may be worth only £130k. Profit split and selling fees paid may leave you with £5k. That wouldn't be worth all the angst and grief to me.

spacey2012

If another woman is involved, arguing over 10p in the house is going to take a lot of stress you do not need.
You will get housing benefit and a clean break is often best.
Let a divorce solicitor and the CSA clean him up.
You can move on and hopefully in time meet someone who appreciates you.

LannieDuck

I think you need to decide what you want to do about the house.

Do you want to take over the mortgage (if you can afford to) in the hope of building up an asset for the future? If so, any divorce will need to include him giving up rights over the property (shouldn't be too difficult if it's got very little equity in it).

Alternatively, would you prefer a clean break and moving out to rent somewhere?

liammc2606

thanks everyone, that's the problem, I don't know what to do. To me, if I stay I'm poor and he has access whenever he wants and he is quite a bully, he never let me have a say in how to decorate, one of these DIY men that won't pay anyone else to do it cos he can do it himself but doesn't do it. The house has no carpet on stairs, all rooms need work DIY stuff, kitchen needs fitting properly, he redesigned the back garden and now there is a 4 ft drop splitting it which is not good for a toddler...the list goes on and on, and then there's a house done lovely with a nice little garden. He has a 50k plus salary, I'm 200 a week cos of kids which is fine I probably need re training but have 15 years experience in the Commercial Insurance industry. I am strongly leaning towards clean break, protect credit rating and go back to work after baby and eventually look for a house for me and deal with divorce after baby too. Am I setting myself up for a loss?? I don't know. xx

LannieDuck

If you agree during the divorce that you will stay in the house and take over the mortgage, he'll have no say whatsoever in the decoration and no access etc.

If he continues to pay the mortgage as part of the divorce settlement, he shouldn't have any say, but might feel that he does. You should consider that when deciding what you want to do.

I think you need to take a few days, have a proper chat with a solicitor and do some homework to work out exactly what your incomings will be. Then you'll have a much better idea of your options.

Edit: You know, with him on £50k and married for 12 years, you might even be looking at spousal maintenance from him. JackRS has a thread on here where him and his wife are divorcing, and she's demanding 100% of the property, a share of his pension, child benefit (her children are 16 and 18 IIRC) and spousal maintenance. And he has to pay her legal fees.

I'm not suggesting you go to the extreme that she has (the feeling on the board is that she's not going to get half of what she's asking for), but somewhere in the middle is where a reasonable person might think that you could stake your claim.

19lottie82

If he's on 50k, I think he will be clearing about 3k a month.

You're entitled to 25% of his salary for 3 kids (-1/7 for each night a week he has them, if he does), which is £750 a month.

AND you'll get tax credits on top of your £200 a month wages, as maintenance isn't taken into consideration when they calculate your entitlement.

nodiscount

Please look after yourself. And whatever you do, don't beg that loser (alleged) for another chance. Don't lose your self respect. Begging never works and will make you feel even more worthless. He doesn't deserve you.

alwaysonthego_2

Though don't always rely on the maintenance as he could quit/ lose his job, as my ex did and I only get £5 per week for my two children x

Land_Registry

rpc wrote: »

LOL. Twerp. A minor cannot directly own a house in this country.

It is your house as much as it is his (thanks to your marriage). You need to get this formally noted - I would get a restriction placed on the title at the land registry.

If the property is registered in England & Wales and in his name only then the reference made by rpc probably relates to your rights of occupation as explained in our Public Guide 4

The guidance helps to explain the registration process of such rights but as others have already posted it is legal advice you require.

The protection of such rights is just one aspect to consider in such situations. But it is important to understand the impact of such proteciton and the circumstances when such rights may come to an end.