Hubby has left-can he come and go as he pleases?

tango

It may still be his house , but he has stopped paying his half of the mortgage. When people separate and one moves out ,coming and going as you please does not work. If he wants to come round he needs to organise it. I would say however hard it is try to keep things amicable , Being at each other's throats is exhausting

Yorkie1

fluffnutter wrote: »

This isn't true. You can be on the deeds of a property without being on the mortgage. Very common in marriages. You can own a home without being financially liable for a loan secured against that property. I'm not saying that that's the case here but it's worth clarifying.

This is contrary to what the mortgage brokers on the Mortgages Board always say.

But yes, worth clarifying.

melanzana

I wish you well OP. And I hope it all works out for you. Tough times.

I am so glad I am not married. OH and I own our own houses, and that situation will never change. It's like date night twice a week, and then weekends when we hook up in our respective homes as the mood takes.

Sorry not pushing anyone's nose in it either.

Despite all the advice that marriage has its benefits, legal etc. - in a break up, seems to me that it is not so clear either, and involves many battles.

Best of luck OP.

meritaten

joint mortgagees are different to joint owners. My deeds show me as joint owner - but my OH is the sole payee to mortgage company. This is because my OH was the only one who had a permanent job. my employment history was of temporary part time jobs - so the only way we could take out a mortgage was on OHs job and he was the sole payee. its complicated but I was still co- owner of the house.

Narla

Thanks everyone. I love the idea of putting all his belongings in the spare room and I can't wait now to do this. I may also consider putting a lock on my bedroom door but with the house being up for sale I need to think about that a bit more in case I need him to do the viewings.
I hadn't given any thought to paperwork but I certainly will now!
The mortgage is slightly cheaper than his rent so maybe I won't expect any contribution to this.
Barbiedoll- he can't dye his hair because he doesn't have any but 12 months ago he did insist on buying an open top sports car, which was when I knew it was a mid life crisis. This car is now for sale because we have no spare cash!
The gym b*tch is at least 12 years younger than him! I am debating whether to change my gym because I can't bear the thought of seeing them both there together! And I'm avoiding going at the moment. I don't want them to win but neither do I want to be tormented every time i go!
Thanks for all the advice xx

Savvy_Sue

Narla wrote: »

I may also consider putting a lock on my bedroom door but with the house being up for sale I need to think about that a bit more in case I need him to do the viewings.

I'd get the agent to do the viewings, not him.

Narla wrote: »

I am debating whether to change my gym because I can't bear the thought of seeing them both there together! And I'm avoiding going at the moment. I don't want them to win but neither do I want to be tormented every time i go!

I feel you're in a lose, lose situation there atm. You're not going, so you can't put your nose in the air and swan past them. And you're not going, but presumably still paying. I'd either work out when you WON'T see them, or definitely find another. Maybe one where you can use a punchbag???

Blackpool_Saver

I haven't read all the replies but my first thought was he doesn't want you to have a man in the house in case they could claim a share of it further down the line..... basically he wants to get his leg over the trollop, and protect half of his asset (the house) while not paying for it..........err nope, as in hell nope

yvonne13_2

OP sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult time.

Please reconsider your gym membership, why should you leave you have done nothing wrong. The best thing you can do is buy some new gym wear, keep going, keep your head up and feel good within yourself.

Just a little thought, but sometimes when people leave their long term partners they often feel the weight of their actions when the partner they've chosen decides they've made a mistake.

As for him telling you that he doesn't want any man in the house is out of line, and I don't think the new woman would be happy to hear that he's said that. It shows that he wants his cake but also you on the side if the woman leaves him.

Go and get pampered, new hair style ect ect

barbiedoll

Narla wrote: »

Barbiedoll- he can't dye his hair because he doesn't have any but 12 months ago he did insist on buying an open top sports car, which was when I knew it was a mid life crisis. This car is now for sale because we have no spare cash!

Oh dear....I feel a new tattoo and a sudden interest in hip-hop is not far behind! :rotfl::rotfl:

Narla, I hope you're ok, I know that all of this is a shock. I can quite understand your feelings about the gym, I'm sure that you don't want to see either of them there. Cancel your contract (if you have fulfilled your minimum terms etc etc) and join a different one.
Mind you, by the time that you have lugged all of his [STRIKE]old tat[/STRIKE] treasured belongings into the spare room, you'll be fit enough not to need the gym!

Narla

I decided to brave the gym tonight...I was drying my hair when the b*tch breezed past me and stared a little bit too long right into my eyes through the mirror with a smirk on her face!! I managed so well to ignore her but not sure I can keep it up x