Hubby has left-can he come and go as he pleases?

LandyAndy

FBaby wrote: »

legally, he can have a key and come in and out as he wishes. Legally, you can change the locks.... Legally, you can have who you want in the house...even if you were not separated....

And he can legally get a locksmith to gain entry and change the locks again. Indeed he could force entry if he'd a mind to, it's his house too. This isn't the way to go.

devildog

You can contact Student Finance and ask for a reassessment of your contribution based on a change of circumstances. It doesn't matter that she is already part way through degree at Uni

shortdog

I'd make sure the first "male friend" you had to visit was big, burly, and covered in tattoos.

Narla

Thank you for the replies - some of which gave me such a needed laugh! x

barbiedoll

shortdog wrote: »

I'd make sure the first "male friend" you had to visit was big, burly, and covered in tattoos.

And/or....gorgeous, toned and at least 15 years younger than hubby!

barbiedoll

All joking aside, you need to start putting your foot down now. This talk of keeping things "amicable" is all very well but it doesn't give him the green light to dictate how you now run your life.

He is entitled to come into his own house but I don't think that it is unreasonable of you to insist that he makes an appointment to come round. It is no longer his home, even though he owns it, however, it is yours and you are entitled to some privacy and to not have him coming round whenever he pleases. Obviously you can't do much if he comes round when you are out but you can plan for this. You could also tell him that as the house also belongs to you, you are perfectly entitled to entertain whomever you please. Be nice and calm, don't sound angry, just make sure that he realises that he has absolutely no control over your life now.

Start by calling him and telling him that you realise that he has a right to enter his own property but you are insisting on him giving you plenty of notice, at least 24 hours (or whatever suits you). You can't change the locks without possibly getting into hot water but you can put a chain on the door so that he can't just walk in when you are entertaining your toyboy (I know that you're not, but that's not the point!)

If he has left any possessions at your home, could you move them all into one room? Make sure that you include everything, every old mobile phone that is hanging around, every pair of old socks, every bit of old tat that he has left you with. It's quite cathartic to have a clear-out but also, if he wants to come round on the pretext of "picking up his stuff", you can direct him to the spare room or wherever you are stashing it, and you can put a lock on your bedroom door so that he can't go snooping around in there. You may not have anything to hide but he's not to know that!

As another poster said, make sure that you have all documents secured somewhere, don't forget passports and your marriage certificate. All bank statements, mortgage papers, credit card bills, etc, will all be proof of earnings and spendings, you may well need these to hand sooner or later.

I know it's not a funny situation but I had to laugh when you said that he had run off with a woman from the gym, that is SUCH a cliche. He may as well buy a Harley Davidson and start dying his hair too! What a mug! :rotfl::rotfl:

meritaten

fluffnutter wrote: »

This isn't true. You can be on the deeds of a property without being on the mortgage. Very common in marriages. You can own a home without being financially liable for a loan secured against that property. I'm not saying that that's the case here but it's worth clarifying.

^^^^^ exactly this.

swampduck

A solicitor once told me that joint mortgagees are liable for paying the mortgage even if they choose not to. But by the same token they could ask you to pay half their rent on an alternative property while they wait for the property to be sold!!

Swampy

mumto2loves

swampduck wrote: »

A solicitor once told me that joint mortgagees are liable for paying the mortgage even if they choose not to. But by the same token they could ask you to pay half their rent on an alternative property while they wait for the property to be sold!!

Swampy

I think this is the first reply to say this and this is right ,you can make him pay half of the mortgage. If it goes to court you will also be made to pay half of his rent.

absolutely goes without saying of course he cannot say who does or doesn't come into the house. I like the suggestion of putting all his stuff in one room but even better why not just clear it out and give it to him save him the excuse of asking for it?

scaredy_cat

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/categories/divorce-and-separation