Relationship breakdown whats a fair split?

Soundgirlrocks

After nearly 5 years together my partner has ended our relationship. We live together in a flat I own and he has paid me rent (much less than it would have been if we rented a place together which is what we would have done had I not bought). He had the option to buy with me but didn't want to. I have owned the flat for 18 months and put down 33% deposit. We have a few big bits of furniture that we jointly bought and around £500 left in the joint account. All the bill have been moved over to my account and they have always been in my name. He works away a lot and will be moving his stuff into the garage we jointly rent (this will move over to his name) until he finds some where else to live.

I have said once we know nothing else is going to come out of the joint account he can have the money that is in there. I don't know what to do about the joint furniture etc. He will most likely rent a room in a shared place (South London). What do you think I should offer him (if anything) for the furniture? Total value new was probably 1.5k I want to be as fair as possible my mother thinks I should tell him tough luck, but as much as I'm hurting right now I really hope we can be friends once this is done. I will need to buy a new TV etc at some point as he will take all the entertainment systems.

I know if he wanted to be difficult he could claim his half of the repayment portion of the mortgage back (which seems a little unfair as he was already getting housing at a subsidised rate) I don't think he will do that though so it's hypothetical. I don't have a huge pot of savings to dip into everything has gone into renovating the flat, and my costs of living have just doubled pretty much.

Any advise welcome, its a horrid situation I never thought we would end up here.

yvonne13_2

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

After nearly 5 years together my partner has ended our relationship. We live together in a flat I own and he has paid me rent (much less than it would have been if we rented a place together which is what we would have done had I not bought). He had the option to buy with me but didn't want to. I have owned the flat for 18 months and put down 33% deposit. We have a few big bits of furniture that we jointly bought and around £500 left in the joint account. All the bill have been moved over to my account and they have always been in my name. He works away a lot and will be moving his stuff into the garage we jointly rent (this will move over to his name) until he finds some where else to live.

I have said once we know nothing else is going to come out of the joint account he can have the money that is in there. I don't know what to do about the joint furniture etc. He will most likely rent a room in a shared place (South London). What do you think I should offer him (if anything) for the furniture? Total value new was probably 1.5k I want to be as fair as possible my mother thinks I should tell him tough luck, but as much as I'm hurting right now I really hope we can be friends once this is done. I will need to buy a new TV etc at some point as he will take all the entertainment systems.

I know if he wanted to be difficult he could claim his half of the repayment portion of the mortgage back (which seems a little unfair as he was already getting housing at a subsidised rate) I don't think he will do that though so it's hypothetical. I don't have a huge pot of savings to dip into everything has gone into renovating the flat, and my costs of living have just doubled pretty much.

Any advise welcome, its a horrid situation I never thought we would end up here.

And how would he manage that? I doubt any person can claim back rent/mortgage as he did live there.

I hope he hasn't put that idea in your head as that is utter rubbish....

yvonne13_2

If you want to be fair then let him take whatever furniture you bought together.

As for the rent TOUGH!!!! You cannot take back what you have already spent.

bagpussbear

Sometimes it's difficult to do an entirely 'fair' split.

If it was me I'd do one of two things, to keep things simple at a time you are feeling emotionally stressed.

Split the money 50/50, and the furniture more or less 50/50 too.
or
say to him, have the furniture and I'll keep the £500.

But that's just me.

Going4TheDream

As he is getting what's left in the joint account I would consider that nearly half the cost of the furniture........is the entertainment equipment his or was that also jointly bought?

yvonne13_2

Just a thought but why don't you just give him whatever money he put in the account? If he put in £100 and you put in the remaining £400 then give him back his £100.

Kynthia

Right I'm assuming you aren't married and don't have children together? I'm also assuming that you both hadn't made a conscious decision to share your lives together and had already reached the stage where you were ready for that level of commitment to each other, but had decided against marriage for various reasons? If that's the case then you jointly hadn't made life decisions, sacrifices and choices 'as a family' but you were just dating seriously. This changes what is 'fair' in a split as when you are a 'family' your contributions aren't just financial and joint decisions and sacrifices are made, which is why things are often split equally (taking into account the start position, length of relationship, children's needs, etc).

He had the choice to take the risk, reward and commitment of a mortgage and property ownership like you but he didn't. Now unless his rent and utilities to you was as much as you were paying in mortgage and utilities I don't think morally he's entitled to anything back. He's definitely not legally entitled as the property is in your name only, although people are always allowed to sue for what they think they might be entitled to. He decided not to buy, and he'd of had rent/living expenses wherever he lived. If the 'rent less utilities' element of his contribution was approaching half your mortgage then you might want to give him a small percentage back, but up to you. Now any assets you bought together and joint savings should be split, whether physically or by one of you paying the other for their share. As he is going to move you could let him choose what to take and then give him cash for the rest, as he'll need money for setting up somewhere else (deposits, credit checks, some furniture, etc).

Once that's resolved, ensure you close the joint account as you don't want your credit score still linked to his, which it is with anyone you have a joint account or mortgage with. Also don't try to be friends too quick as you need a period of adjustment. Good luck and allow yourself to grieve as it takes time when a long relationship ends.

fluffnutter

Ask him what he wants. Take it from there. He might want nothing. You won't know unless you talk to him.

itsanne

If you are leaving him the money in the joint account, make sure you have your name taken off it. You won't be able to if he goes overdrawn, and that would cause you big problems.

Soundgirlrocks

Thank you you have all been so kind. No kids but we had discussed marriage seriously (several tippsy proposals) and before my father passed away he asked him for his permission. We have been living together for 4 years I only bought the flat 18 months ago.

We each put in equally into the joint account for utility's food council tax and mortgage. When he works away a lot I don't spend his share for food which accumulates and then normally we use it for a holiday, so I see it as his money. I have paid for all the additional costs for the flat, new windows kitchen, boiler, decorating etc as I felt it wasn't fair to ask him to chip in on those costs. I really thought we were in this for the long hall. Our plan was to build the equity in the flat over 5 years then take as much out as we could as a deposit for a family home outside of london and rent the flat out as my pension plan. Buying the flat was what my dad wanted me to do to give me security but I always saw it as a spring board to build a future together. Sorry I'm waffling I just never thought we would end up here.

yvonne13_2

Keep your head up hun, you can get through this.