Old friends, don't enjoy seeing them any more

bylromarha

Just move on - politely decline invites and keep your good memories of the years of friendship you had rather than get to the point where they grate on you.

There are friends I've chosen to leave behind, friends who've chosen to leave me behind. We enjoyed a good friendship for a season, but lives move on and change and the things which once bound you together are no longer as strong as they once were.

candygirl

BlondeHeadOn wrote: »

I find it most irritating when a group of women start a kind of 'grandchildren poker', each trying to outdo the others with stories of how brilliant/beautiful/clever/cute their respective grandchild(ren) is(are) .....



It can get very competitive at times, which I think is just daft! Or is this just me....

:o:oI might be a bit guilty of that:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

CC-Warrior

This is why you can never have too many friends, I'm always open to new friendships with people. Too many friends getting in to relationships, having children, going off the radar for whatever reason, or people you just don't want to sit in a pub drinking with any more, as you're done with all of that.

Richard53

I'm sure it's the group meeting thing. Whever two or three are gathered together, the conversation will gravitate to issues that are common to most of the group. (Teachers are especially bad at this. I know; I was one.) If there's someone there who doesn't share the focus of interest, that person will probably not get much from the conversation. In your position, I would avoid 'group' meetings like the plague, but it may be worthwhile to keep meeting individuals separately, if you still have enough in common with them to make it a pleasant experience.

But, as others have said, our lives are fluid, and our interests and personalities change over time. There is absolutely nothing wrong in feeling that you have no longer much in common with this particular group and have decided to move on.

I have one or two people that I have been friends with since Uni, and would consider them to be an essential part of my life, even though we don't live close and see each other only occasionally. Those friendships never get old, but below this there are groups of people that I used to be close to but am no longer. I don't see it as a problem.

You say you don't have many friends: perhaps if you stop relying on people you don't have much in common with any more, you will have more time to make friendships that are lively, interesting and in line with your current life.

Tl;dr - don't feel bad, it's natural.

BlondeHeadOn

I felt a bit daft when I was writing the original post (after all, there are bigger things to worry about, right?) - but I have been so cheered by all your replies. It's really given me a lot to think about.

The idea of not seeing friends as a group is an excellent way forward. It's true that I can have good conversations with the individual friends, it's only 'en masse' that the conversations tend to drift towards the grandchildren and houses. I can still enjoy meeting with friends individually, just avoid the group events.

This also makes me feel like I am making an effort, and not just dropping old friends because I am bored at the moment - after all things may change in a couple of years anyway.

I do need to widen my social group as well though, as I have new work and interests now.

Many thanks to all you lovely people who've replied - I very much appreciate your help and insights.

:T:T:T