To become a sahm?

MissMoneypenny

zagfles wrote: »

It's quite common to take a career break for a few years until your children are in school,

Only if the parents have planned, saved up and can afford it, surely?

zagfles wrote: »

I'm right to point out things like attachment disorder, as it's something anyone putting pre-school children into childcare should be aware of so they can take steps to avoid.

What about the parent who goes to work all day? Why do you think their children form an attachment disorder with them? I was closest to my dad and yet he was at work all day and my mother was at home.

Has it ever occured to you that children form an attachment disorder for other reasons. i.e. having little respect for their parent because of that parent's lifestle choices; the way their parent choose to raise them; their parents attitude to them when they were a child etc?

If; as you seem to be trying to claim; Attachment Disorder is caused by putting pre school age children into childcare, then that would mean that there would be no attachment disorder between children and a parent who stayed at home with them before they started school: which of course, there is.

zagfles

Marisco wrote: »

I don't think anyone has said SAHP are bad, what they are saying is, if you want to be a SAHP, you shouldn't expect the state to fund your choices.

Being judgemental about someone claiming benefits they are legally entitled to is saying they are bad. And specifically not allowed on the benefits board.

Same would apply to anyone whinging about people getting childcare vouchers or the childcare element of WTC.

Mojisola

Marisco wrote: »

I don't think anyone has said SAHP are bad, what they are saying is, if you want to be a SAHP, you shouldn't expect the state to fund your choices.

So shouldn't the same apply to working parents - go back to work if you want but don't expect the state to fund your childcare.

zagfles

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

Only if the parents have planned, saved up and can afford it, surely?



What about the parent who goes to work all day? Why do you think their children form an attachment disorder with them? I was really close to my dad and he was at work all day.

Has it ever occured to you that children form an attachment disorder for other reasons. i,e, having little respect for their parent because of that parent's lifestle choices; the way their parent choose to raise them?

I'm no expert on attachment disorder, which is why I suggested people google it and find out for themselves.

Marisco

Mojisola wrote: »

So shouldn't the same apply to working parents - go back to work if you want but don't expect the state to fund your childcare.

Absolutely, but I was specifically addressing the point made about SAHP.

FluffyVal

Just browsed this thread. Lots of interesting points and discussions about a very key human issue.

I would like to add that I went back to work after the arrival of my son (29 years ago) and my husband looked after him. This had been agreed between us when we discussed having a child after being married for about 6 years.

This worked for us, and that is my point, despite hard times, changing tax laws and work separation through travel, its now that I see the choices we made suited our way of life. Trust your instinct and enjoy what you decide. Only you as a family unit know whats best for you.

Sure you can get advice and investigate current options. However, lacking a crystal ball the most we can do is an educated guess at the time.

So, (fwiw) my advice is don't sweat the small stuff and be happy - happy parents make happy kids, not catchment areas, work ethic or complicated tax provisions

zagfles

FBaby wrote: »

Pity, was planning on asking my hubby to employ me to clean the house and then claim maternity leave when I fall pregnant, and the sickness days before when I'm too sick to clean! I knew it was too good to be true

Though it would appear that the law only applies to a spouse, so an unmarried couple could still use it Maybe someone should tell David Cameron, he wants to reward marriage!

Prothet_of_Doom

My wife's friend was complaining, how she was always tired and how she would like to be a stay at home mum, like my wife, but did not like my wife's answer.
1) Sell your car
2) Sell all your handbags, and never buy anymore
3) Get rid of the latest Iphone, the sky, the takeaways, the holidays,

When she actually added up the cost of child care, the HP and insurance and fuel, plus the nice clothes, the holidays etc, there was only £200 in it a month. Add the tax credits etc. and it looked to be just about doable....but she wouldn't because the flash car and the laptop on a fancy desk is what defines her.

MissMoneypenny

zagfles wrote: »

I'm no expert on attachment disorder,

Obviously. I can't find anything that backs your claim that putting a pre school age child in childcare causes Attachment Disorder.

sfm82

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

Obviously. I can't find anything that backs you claim that putting a pre school age child in childcare causes Attachment Disorder.

Freud is coming, look busy......