Just found out my girlfriend owes £28k

kopite323

Hi all

Can any one help me with more support for my Girl.

Yesterday i went through her things and found out she owes £28829:eek: on various cards & loans. Obviously she is very upset and ashamed about the size of the debt having acrewed most of it before she met me. We have been together roughly 3 years and some how never picked up on this fact! It was only reciently when the bank or another finicial company started ringing the home phone and asking for her that i became suspicious and then the mobile started to be left in the car with all her files etc...

It breaks down sort of like this
Earnings
wages £180 p.w.
Child tax £9.74 p.w

Outgoings
Car running costs £20 p.w. i am guessing with ins,tax,&petrol
Child care £54 p.w.
Mobile phone £30p.m.
Amex £ 3500 miniumum payment £100
Capitalone £ 2600 £100
Mastercard £ 3329 £100
Barclayloan £15000 £321
GEMoneyloan £ 4400 £240

After a lengthy discussion i got her to call the National Debt line and talk to an advisor about the situation, but she and i feel pretty low at the moment.

Any help greatly appreciated

Skint_Catt

Try CCCS - they are a free (charity?) debt help. Be patient with her and supportive - she needs that right now, but its good that you knwo so that you can do the little things together!

Good Luck

C xx

southwester_2

Hi kopite

It took me two years to admit to my problem to my wife and believe me it was the hardest thing I had to do. You feel very ashamed and embarrased, she is probably really upset about it so give her all the support you can. The first step has been taken and you will now start the long road of getting out of debt but you have started it.

I hope you will both be ok

Southwester

climbgirl

I bet that came as a shock! A couple of things - is she willing to post on here and get advice? I know you want to help and that's great, but she's the one who is going to have to make the changes to get out this debt, she needs to have the motivation to do this otherwise nothing will change. You can lead a horse to water....

Secondly, can you please do (or get her to do!) a full statement of affairs - all outgoings (rent, food etc), and details of the cards including APR and how much credit is left on them (might be potential here for some balance transferring to get the interest down).

What's the living situation, she doesn't seem to have much in the way of living expenses? With such a low income, paying back such a massive debt will be tough, you might need to get in touch with CCCS to get some help with her options. Unless she has pretty much zero outgoings in terms of rent and food, there isn't going to much income to free up to clear this debt...

more info please!

newlywed

I owed about that much and tried to struggle on myself and sort it out - ended up at £10k more than that when I contacted CCCS about a DMP. Accepting that I needed help and couldn't sort it myself was the hardest thing. But CCCS have been brilliant and have helped so much that lots of the stress has now been lifted

Well done on getting it sorted and going to NDL. What did they suggest?

If you are thinking about a Debt Management Plan, check out CCCS' website. They do the DMP for free - no charges. You can work out all your budget on their website and there is useful information there too.

I know how she feels about it all, confessing the full amount to OH was terrible but he has been brilliant and supportive and took on more of the bills to help me pay my debt off. Having it all in the open is the best thing. We were snapping at each other as every time he wanted to go out and spend money, I'd grump at him without saying why and he'd snap back.

Hope all goes well for you, it will get better just as soon as you work out the best plan for you.

climbgirl

kopite323 wrote: »

After a lengthy discussion i got her to call the National Debt line and talk to an advisor about the situation, but she and i feel pretty low at the moment.

And don't feel too bad - the hardest bit is facing up to it and you've done that. This can be fixed and there are hundreds of people on here who will give you fantastic advice and charities like CCCS who will help. I'd recommend you both spend the weekend reading through this site and absorbing all the valuable info on here - you can turn around this situation and this site is exactly the right place to start!

Kaz2904

I'm so pleased you are supporting her and please do get her to fill out a full soa.

kopite323

The mortgage and bills and tax etc..... all living costs i Pay for and have done for the last 6 years really.
As for her using the computer to do a full SOA i dont think she will as she isnt really computer literate but i will make her have a go

climbgirl

Even if she does the SOA on paper and you do the typing on the computer! It's just that it's really important for her to understand the financial situation and how she's going to get out of it. It's great that you're helping her but she needs to learn how to do this herself so she can take the lessons from it and stop the situation happening again.

Please do keep helping her, but make sure she's not just passing it over to you to deal with!

I'd contact CCCS as soon as possible really, you need to find out about your options as her debt is so high relative to the low income (any chance of that increasing, second job, better job?). She's not even really earning enough at the moment to meet the minimum payments (without the mobile and car costs, the mobile really has to go and probably even the car if you can). And if her entire income won't cover the minimum payments, then cutting back on expenses isn't going to be enough to solve the problem. CCCS will be able to tell you the options.

Tashja

Is that all the benefits she gets ???

I would have thought she gets Working Tax Credit, Family Tax Credit and Child Benefit.

Try looking on https://www.entitledto.com (I think !!)

Hope you can get this sorted ((hugs))

T xx

kopite323

I will ask her to do and SOA.
The CCCS are going to call her on Monday, as she is at work all weekend and we are going out to drop our daughter off now.

Yeah that is really all we get due to my income but we will try the web site just to make sure

Thanks everyone