How often do you see members of your family?

sapphireeye

arbroath_lass wrote: »

Sounds like you are the one doing all the running about visiting! As well as commuting to Uni and working. Do none of them visit you? You could have several over at the same time kind of a family get together.

Could you, maybe, invite them for Sunday lunch every couple of months or so? Might be too much work on top of everything else, though.

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Oh no! How dare you have a life?

I think my response would be 'yeah, full time at uni plus part time at work and a 300 mile round trip means no time for me. Crazy isn't it? Why don't you pop over on xday/evening and we'll pop to the local for a drink/have a brew and cake/tea and chat?'

No, they don't really visit or ring me. I think the relationships in my family can be quite one-sided, and I'm not sure that it's anything I've done/am doing. The relatives that say that I don't see them enough wouldn't ring me to see how I am, I suppose because they get an update from other relatives (and that works both ways) but they expect me to ring/see them. These relatives didn't make an effort to see me when I was seriously ill in hospital last year despite being offered a lift by my parents, they said they 'weren't up to it' on the day that they'd agreed. I remained ill at home for 3 months after I was discharged and wasn't allowed to drive but they still didn't come. They don't seem to remember that though, because they're older relatives (I'm 26) they consider that to mean that I should make all the effort, despite them being very young and able for their age.

Some of my relatives don't get along, mainly as a result of my paternal grandmother who can be very 'funny' with a lot of people and is one of the relatives who makes snide remarks every time I see her about 'at least you know where I live now', or 'I expect you've forgotten who I am', even though I see her or speak to her relatively often. So I think most of my family dread family gatherings!

I don't have space for a dining table or anything, and I'm not sure that if I invited these relatives for a cup of tea or something they'd even come, because they've made excuses in the past (such as when I was in hospital) and they're the sort of people that rarely go and visit other relatives, everyone always comes to them. I suppose that's my answer, they're just those sort of people!

olgadapolga

My parents - 30 miles away - three times this year but talk on phone a few times a month.

His mother - 30 miles away - avoid like the plague (I haven't seen her in over a year because of her treatment of my DH when his Dad died but he is much more forgiving than me and has been over 7 or 8 times in the last year).

My brother - 30 miles away - haven't seen/spoken to him in over a year, he makes no effort to get in touch so I figure he isn't bothered about seeing me. He's a bit of a waste of time anyway, would rather see a pint than his sister.

My sisters - 30 miles away - haven't seen one for nine years, the other for six and hell will freeze over before I see them again.

His sister - 30 miles away - haven't seen her for ten years and hell will freeze over before I see her again as well (same goes for DH).

Other extended family - all over the world, only ever seen at funerals!

I see friends more often than family and I prefer it that way.

74jax

My Dad only about once a month, do wish it was more.
My Mam, hardly ever, and that's too much most of the time.
Brother and family 4 times a year roughly but talk about 3 times a week.
OH's family is only about once a year but talk lots on FB.
Extended family talk weekly on FB.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

sapphireeye wrote: »

No, they don't really visit or ring me. I think the relationships in my family can be quite one-sided, and I'm not sure that it's anything I've done/am doing. The relatives that say that I don't see them enough wouldn't ring me to see how I am, I suppose because they get an update from other relatives (and that works both ways) but they expect me to ring/see them. These relatives didn't make an effort to see me when I was seriously ill in hospital last year despite being offered a lift by my parents, they said they 'weren't up to it' on the day that they'd agreed. I remained ill at home for 3 months after I was discharged and wasn't allowed to drive but they still didn't come. They don't seem to remember that though, because they're older relatives (I'm 26) they consider that to mean that I should make all the effort, despite them being very young and able for their age.

Some of my relatives don't get along, mainly as a result of my paternal grandmother who can be very 'funny' with a lot of people and is one of the relatives who makes snide remarks every time I see her about 'at least you know where I live now', or 'I expect you've forgotten who I am', even though I see her or speak to her relatively often. So I think most of my family dread family gatherings!

I don't have space for a dining table or anything, and I'm not sure that if I invited these relatives for a cup of tea or something they'd even come, because they've made excuses in the past (such as when I was in hospital) and they're the sort of people that rarely go and visit other relatives, everyone always comes to them. I suppose that's my answer, they're just those sort of people!

Yeah, I guessed that...which is why you have to call their bluff and leave it in their hands. If challenged just say 'You are more than welcome to visit', or the like; don't ever apologise for having a life of your own. Not sure you should listen when people tell you that's what other people have said about you - you could always say 'Surely they can't miss me that much, they know where I live if they do' and change the subject.

MadDogWoman_2

Mum and Dad a couple of times a week, live a mile up the road. Speak on the phone a bit more.

Oldest brother 2 miles the other way a couple of times a month, we're both busy people with families so don't get chance.

Nephew 1: not much as he's either at work or with his gf.
Niece: Every couple of weeks as at Uni, her and my DD are more like sisters so we see her then.
Nephew 2: A couple of times a month, he's a teenager with a life

Brother 2 & SIL, lives about 30 miles away, a few times a year again due to busy lives.
Niece at uni in Bath, not seen since last year, keep up through FB.
Nephew, when they come here or we go there.

DH's family live about 40 miles away and we tend to see them for parties and Christmas. We've been making more of an effort to see his brother since he was widowed earlier this year. His brother does come to see us.

Most of DH's family refuse to come here so I won't go there anymore than necessary. If they come it means someone can't drink; they see it as easier for us to go there as I don't drink.

emz118

I live next door to my Dad, so I see him more or less daily.

My Mum lives about 20 mins drive away, and I see her most weekends.

MIL I see about every 2 weeks, but often text in between, especially now I'm pregnant! Hubby works just down the road from her so sees her a couple of times a week.

My grandparents are all still here, thank goodness, all living about 75 miles away. I have always been closer to maternal grandparents, and they are more mobile in terms of visiting our area, so I see them about once a month, and talk on the phone once a week or so.

Paternal grandparents I see about every 2 months or so, in school holidays, when I am able to travel down to them.

My youngest sister lives with Mum (She's 12) so I see her regularly, my brother, in every school holidays. SIL#1 it's been 18 months, SIL#2 most school holidays.

I am 27, married, full time teacher, pregnant with baby number 1.

rjhammond91

I see my mum, sister and grandparents every few months as I live 120 miles away. See my OH's mum normally once a week and she lives just up the road from us.

Mrs_Ryan

However often I can get home - all my family are back in Newcastle and I live in the East Midlands. Mam and Dad came down and stayed with me for a week while I was in hospital after my hysterectomy last year though, and as soon I was well I went to them. I'm quite poorly at the minute though I'm spending quite a lot of time going back and forth (my illness is mental not physical) which I'm grateful for as Mum is retired mental health nurse so she watches me like a hawk.
Usually its every few months or so, my brother and SIL are usually about when I'm up but its really rare I see my sis, BIL and nephews though.
OH doesn't speak to his Mum and hasn't seen her or that side of the family for 2 years, but we visit his Dad and stepmum who live about half an hour from us, about every 6 weeks or so. We saw his brother, SIL and nephews last month for the first time in months - we previously just bumped into them by chance in Asda one day

grai

"His sister - 30 miles away - haven't seen her for ten years and hell will freeze over before I see her again as well (same goes for DH)."

what does DH stand for

busiscoming2

I see my dad weekly, sometimes more often as he only lives a five minute drive away.
My brothers, one lives about half hour drive away and I see him maybe once a year. The other one lives an hour and a half away and I haven't seen him for three years.

My DS1 and DD live (separately) about fifty miles away. I don't see them that often as they work various days over the week and just lead busy lives. I'd love to see them more

My in laws are very near but we don't actually see them that often, they like to keep themselves to themselves.