How to turn down a date?

There_Goes_Trouble

I need advice with wording.

I've known this guy about 3 years. This morning he sent me a message on Facebook asking me out, I think he is a bit shy to ask in person. Thing is, he's a lovely guy but I am not interested in him romantically at all.

What's the best way to word my reply? We belong to the same sports club so I don't want any awkwardness next time I see him. I don't want to say I'm not looking for a relationship because if the right person comes along I would be very happy, he's just not that person. I don't want to lie to him like that. He's asked me out to dinner tonight and I genuinely can't go, but don't want him to simply ask another night.

How do I gently say 'thanks but no thanks' without him (or me) being embarrassed next time we meet?

Voyager2002

You're busy this evening, so say so.

If he asks again... why not give him a chance?

FBaby

Be totally honest. It will hurt, but less than it will do to find out you lied to him. Just say what you wrote here, that you appreciate him as a person, but don't feel romantically attracted to him. It will be up to him whether he wants to continue to be friends and move on, or feel sorry for himself and not want to have anything more to do with you.

marisco_2

It is nice to hear of someone being so concerned about how their response and actions might be interpreted or affect another person. Keep in mind though that no-one who asks someone out, expects to be taken up on their offer every time. Just be honest and say that you have a prior engagement tonight. Then advise this guy that though you like him as a person you don't wish to date him. That isn't offensive in any way and shouldn't cause any tension or problems between you both when you next meet.

There_Goes_Trouble

Thanks for the replies.

Voyager it's not about giving him a chance, I've know him 3 years so I know there is no physical attraction on my part. He's lovely, a really nice guy and I almost wish I did 'like' him but I don't and it wouldn't be fair to him to pretend otherwise.

I have replied to say I'm busy tonight, and I haven't suggested anything else so I'm hoping he'll take that as a hint. However if he does suggest another night then I will be straight and will say I'm not interested. He's a sensitive chap though, I really don't want to embarrass him as I know it must have taken a lot for him to pluck up the courage to ask me.

ViolaLass

I would make it clear you're not interested - it would be more embarassing for him if he asks again and you then make it clear. Be clear up front, it's kinder.

thick_tom

all you have to say is 'thanks but no thanks' .

Bella73

I think you should be honest too. Perhaps thank you for your lovely invite, however I can't make it tonight as I have plans and although I enjoy your company/friendship I really think of you only as a friend and do not see our friendship as being any more than it is.

gt568

You could tell him you're gay...:rotfl:

bluenoseam

Always go with the truth, it'll hurt immediately but it'll be better long term.

Tropez

"I'm flattered but I'm sorry, I don't think of you in that way."

That's what they all said to me. All of them. Every single one.