giving up work to look after terminally ill husband

thick_tom

hope you can get some good advice.

seven-day-weekend

I don't think Dunroamin is any stranger to serious illness.

Dunroamin

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I don't think Dunroamin is any stranger to serious illness.

Thank you.

Unfortunately, some people seem to believe that the only way of dealing with these situations is to fall apart and have a good wallow, which is really no indication of someone's genuine feelings.:)

no-oneknowsme

Dunroamin wrote: »

Thank you.

Unfortunately, some people seem to believe that the only way of dealing with these situations is to fall apart and have a good wallow, which is really no indication of someone's genuine feelings.:)

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

How a person cannot "fall apart and wallow" whilst watching a loved one die of this horrible disease I will never know!

Dunroamin

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

Yep...I was right....You ARE a hard hearted cow!

How a person cannot "fall apart and wallow" whilst watching a loved one die of this horrible disease I will never know!

As you're obviously in a bad place, I won't report you or argue with you.

It used to be considered desirable to have some self control and dignity in bereavement, hopefully it will again in the future.

bloolagoon

What a horrific post! People grieve in many different ways. Some people like dunaromin have to deal with very long, progressive and socially isolating illnesses. You clearly have no idea of the mental and physical strength required to deal with such a traumatic event over a long period of time. Falling apart would not only cause her pain but those she cares for.

If there comes a time she loses her loved one, perhaps then she may crack, or not, but right now they cannot as have to deal with it, day in and day out, no matter how tired or exhausted.

Your comment was very very offensive. I'm assuming its because you are grieving because otherwise it makes you something I'm sure you'd never be.

dandelionclock30

Poppie68 wrote: »

I was thinking more of on the grounds of stress and anxiety, i know GP's do give them to patients under these conditions...worth a try.

It would be worth a try her trying to get her employers to give her some type of compassionate leave. Some places will give so many weeks paid then unpaid. You never know they might pay for her to go off and be sympathetic.

Poppie68

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

It would be worth a try her trying to get her employers to give her some type of compassionate leave. Some places will give so many weeks paid then unpaid. You never know they might pay for her to go off and be sympathetic.

Fingers crossed, i would like to think all employers can show some empathy at such a heartbreaking time.

dandelionclock30

Some have policies about such things, it would be a shame for her to give up her job as in packing it in. Obviously when he dies she would be stuck with jobhunting and JSA which would be difficult.

bossymoo

When my husband got a terminal diagnosis the very large bank I worked for offered me (wait for it!) one weeks, yes one weeks compassionate leave. Great. I wanted to ask them which week they thought he'd die and I'd take that week please. Then my boss said, off the record, just go to your GP and get signed off. I didn't see that as being undignified. I can't imagine what sense they would have gotten out of me had I gone into work at that time.

The "fit note" just ticked the right boxes for him.