Buttergate.....An internal email.

Davesnave

When I worked in an office it was long before email. Indeed, the Cold War was still very much alive.

One afternoon, an autotyped message came through to the rather dense junior, telling her to deliver the following message to her manager, and no one else.

It read: " The Russians have reached Tooting. Prepare staff for immediate evacuation."

Needless to say, she flipped and shouted the message to the whole office. Some members of staff, who'd probably been tipped off, took the cue immediately and improvised with it, so for a few minutes there was total bedlam.

I was pretty young myself, so although I thought it was all a spoof, I was far too embarrassed to join in.

Tiddlywinks

:)We had people leaving food in the fridge and dirty cups in the sick until they grew fur and legs and started to look like they would get up and walk by themselves... so, someone wrote a note that they would be throwing away anything unwashed or out of date...

They then started making good on the threat and threw away everything dirty.... Next message?

'Does anyone have any spare mugs for the meeting this afternoon as we seem to have a shortage...'

Alikay

I once worked in an office that had a problem with two persistently scruffy staff who were also militant trade unionists and would argue vociferously for their right to self-expression through BO, offensive T Shirts and being generally filthy and unkempt.

The T shirt issue was easy to remedy as they couldn't argue with the company's policy on potentially inflammatory slogans, but the rest of the clothing was more difficult. So the result was a company memo on suitable work-wear, including 5 bullet points on what specific characteristics would make "trousers" (permissible) become "jeans" (banned). I believe the exercise wasted 3 days of HR time, and the scruffy pair simply rose to the challenge and still managed to look and smell like tramps whilst officially complying with the dress code!

Birdie85

Not so long ago an e-mail came around asking 'the person who is smearing filth all over the toilet cubicle walls in the ladies to please stop as it is unhygenic, if it continues we'll be locking the door and everyone will have to ask a manager's permission to use the facilities'! :eek: Thankfully it was on a different floor to where I work so I didn't have to experience that particular surprise!

It did make for some fun playing guess who the poo-smearer was! _pale_

tea_lover

I accidentally sent a funny email out at work. Someone sent me an email with a picture of brad pitt on a balcony, naked except for a fig-leaf. I forwarded it to my team with the heading "something to make you smile"..... only I got the wrong email group and actually sent it to the management team .

Oh the shame :rotfl::o

aileth

I got a very strong telling off from a senior manager as according to one of the receptionists I had left sugar and coffee all over the break room and she was very upset by it.

Funny thing is, I didn't drink coffee then and only used to fill my water bottle up from the tap. Manager didn't believe me, and ever since it happened the receptionist treated me with utter contempt, was the rudest of the rude, and used to give me the most demonic looks every time. It was absolutely bizarre.

I was called into the meeting with an email titled "COFFEE INCIDENT - PLEASE SEE ME"

Nicki

I feel a bit sorry for the butter owner in the original post. OP and maybe her colleagues obviously think she's being petty but on the other hand how antisocial do you have to be not only to steal some of a colleagues food from a work fridge but also to use a dirty knife to do so.

Abbafan1972

Years ago working in a big office, we had some staff from our France office and one of them used the kettle to heat up milk! It took ages to clean out.

I hate it when people have coffee, there's granules on the spoon and then they put it in the sugar. Gross!

hazyjo

My sis works in a bank. Someone used to smear their bogeys all over the mirror. Nice! Sis got the job of typing up the email to go to all...

'Would people please refrain from smearing their nose-pickings over the mirror in the ladies' toilets'.

Ewwwww.

I also left a stroppy note in the fridge when someone nicked one of my yoghurts.

And we've had a 'smeared toilet' email too. I've worked out exactly who it is (one of the lawyers). Skanky. Can't look at her in the same light.

Jx

Rockporkchop

This was sent round my cousin's office last month:

Dear colleagues

It is with regret and a fair slice of incredulity that I find I have to send this email this morning.

You will notice that from today all free standing bins will have been removed from the toilets in the building.

On two occasions towards the end of last week, the cleaning team were faced with the fact that someone had defecated in them.

I don't think I need to say anything else.

Regards.
.............


Nowt as queer as folk!!