How much board should I be paying?

pink_princess

*max* wrote: »

I know I will going against the overwhelming grain here, but I have to say that not being charged rent/board (or whatever you want to call it) by your parents doth not a dosser make! It isn't a pre-requisite to being able to "survive in the real world" perfectly well. Each to their own. No need to jump on parents, laugh at them and predict a life of scrounge, poverty and financial ignorance for their offspring if they don't charge them board as soon as they get their first inkling of an income.

They very well might but would you let another adult live for free not paying their way?

I think it shows DD1 that I respect the fact she is now an adult and is capable of paying her own way.

Edit to add- I don't qualify for benefits but I fail to see the relevance of that. DD1 pays her way as she is now an adult and that is what adults have to do.

Soleil_lune

lady1964 wrote: »

I think what the OP is paying is very reasonable and I agree with those who say give up the Sky if she can't afford to pay her mum an extra £10 per week, or increase the job hours.

My dd's paid board quite happily, we didn't take much of their salaries, just 15% and my youngest dd has just paid her first amount of board at 15%. She actually asked when we were going to start charging her, I think she felt that doing that makes her a fully paid up adult

Both my older two dd's were able to budget their money and save, one is in Australia for a year, the other rents a home with her boyfriend and both say having to pay board really helped them learn about money management and taught them that very little in life is free and are very grateful to us, youngest one feels the same.

OP, talk to your mum as adults, explain your outgoings/income and listen to what she has to say and come to an agreement with which you're both happy.

Most decent adult children who had any respect for their parents WOULD pay them board and lodgings, even if they said they didn't want anything.

As for the OP's post. Well £150 a month is a good amount to offer actually, but if your mother does want more, then she must need it. It's only fair really: I mean, you are still getting your room and use of all the facilities and all bills for £50 a week! Try and do that on your own. I don't think your mother is being unreasonable. The cost of living is phenomenal these days...

lostinrates

mikeandrach wrote: »

I . IF he is taking advantage, ie doesn't work/genuinely seek work, isn't in education, and generally takes the p yes I will sit down with him and have a conversation which will hopefully be the rocket up the bum if one is needed. my parents said paying board would teach me about money, it didn't, it tought me that my parents wanted to cream some of my wages despite the fact they were very well off. I totally disagree with charging a child (of any age) to live in the family home, the caveat being if they are a slob/layabout/don't seek to fund their own life this view is flexible.

Perhaps OP's mother is trying to teach some reality. Op clearly has a pretty high expectation of disposable income for some one in their stage of life. We have no background but reading between the lines, it would be my concern entirely looking at op's post.

Clearly, from reading your posts, your parents approach missed the mark somewhere though. I wish you happiness and better luck wi your own child.

Soleil_lune

mumps wrote: »

Well I am 60 and mine are all grown up, well one still at uni, and I have never taken money off them. The ones who are working are self sufficient, they saved what they could and two own their own houses, number 3 graduated last year and is looking at buying their own place soon. Oh I did get child benefit and got tax credits for the youngest, of course I knew it would stop but really child benefit of about £20 and tax credit of £10 went on pocket money and bus fares for him so when he left school I was quids in anyway as he paid for his own clothes, travel and some of his food. Different families do things in different way, whatever works for your family is good for your family. We aren't all the same.

Well good for you and yours!!!

The fact that the mich-rach person seems to be attacking people who DO ask their youngsters for board money has got peoples backs up, AND the fact she sees fit to personally attack (calling me an inbred mutant!)

Some people charge their children because not everyone is on £40,000 or more a year (which SHE obviously is, as she doesn't get child benefit (supposedly.)

No we are NOT all the same, but people who are asking their children for board are quite entitled to. Nothing comes for free, and not everyone is in the position to let their adult children live rent and board free!

fabforty

My parents did not charge us board either, but we all paid it nevertheless. It would never have crossed my mind to live in the family home and not part with a penny. I had my first proper 'grown-up' full-time job aged 18, earning a pretty decent wage, and to me this was the normal, natural thin to do. Each to his own I suppose .

Soleil_lune

fabforty wrote: »

My parents did not charge us board either, but we all paid it nevertheless. It would never have crossed my mind to live in the family home and not part with a penny. I had my first proper 'grown-up' full-time job aged 18, earning a pretty decent wage, and to me this was the normal, natural thin to do. Each to his own I suppose .

Quite my point fabforty and well done to you and your sibling(s) To not pay anything to your parents is wrong IMO. Even if they 'could' afford to do without anything from you. (which many can't...) Money doesn't grow on trees, and everything is expensive. Even if it's only a fifth of your income, that is a good gesture, and shows respect for your parents, and a maturity from the young adult child.

That said, the OP 'does' seem to be paying a fair amount, but another £30 a month extra isn't too unreasonable IMO. Like I said, the cost of living is very high, so her mother must need the extra.

itch_for_a_glitch

jadeappleby wrote: »

I live at home with my Mum, her partner and my younger brother. My mum works part time and her partner full time. I work part time as well as studying at university. My take home pay a month is £600. I pay for all my car insurance, tax, mobile phone, sky tv and also buy my own food and toiletries etc totalling around an extra £200 on top. There's also travel to uni which costs a bit as I live about 15 miles away from it so I usually put around £30-£40 petrol in a week.

My Mum charges me £130 a month board which I think is reasonable, however she wants to charge me more in the region of £150/£170. Can someone please help me on this? As I don't really think I can afford to pay more. I'm in my final year at uni and would love to save some money to move out which I'm trying to do with my loan. However, my Mum can't accept this and when I try to explain I'm trying to save and the bills I pay out a month she doesn't want to know.

I think you do very well, and IMHO your mum is being unreasonable, but then I dont know her circumstances.
I dont have a spare room, if I did you would be welcome. Both mine are working full time and pay a similar amount to you, but get food/pack up.I do put their board up 10% in January(rounded up)

tom9980

Think its a good idea if everyone stopped talking about their specific ideas/expectations and concentrate on what the OP has told us. It is clear to me the family isn't well off financially and so asking a healthy, working adult child for less than a 1/3 of their income from a job is not unreasonable at all in my book. It needs to be remembered the OP is also getting a loan which means that their income is actually more than £600 a month.

Although re-reading the OP i am a little concerned that mum "doesn't want to know" to work out a way forward.

lostinrates

tom9980 wrote: »

Think its a good idea if everyone stopped talking about their specific ideas/expectations and concentrate on what the OP has told us. It is clear to me the family isn't well off financially and so asking a healthy, working adult child for less than a 1/3 of their income from a job is not unreasonable at all in my book. It needs to be remembered the OP is also getting a loan which means that their income is actually more than £600 a month.

Although re-reading the OP i am a little concerned that mum "doesn't want to know" to work out a way forward.

Do we know op gets a loan?

pink_princess

This is a subject we have always felt quite strongly about. Teaching financial independance.

At age 11 we opened child current accounts with a debit card. Each month we paid in £15 pocket money, as they have got older the amount and the responsibility increased. By age 15 they were transferred their pocket money, dinner money, travel allowance, clothes and toiletries budget to manage for themselves. (DD2 is now 16, hence the them) I just see board as a continuation of this independence.