How much board should I be paying?

poet123

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Some people here are COMPLETELY missing the point! Regardless of the fact that your young adult child 'may' or may not cost an extra £40 a week, the fact is that a LOT of people lose £200 to £300 a month in tax credits and child benefit, when their child comes out of full time education, and simply HAVE to and NEED to ask their adult child for a contribution. (Not necessarily that much, but at least a BIT of a contribution.) It's all right for people who can afford to take nothing to stand in judgement,

If we are talking about a perfectly healthy young adult who is NOT IN ANY KIND OF EDUCATION, and they are working, then there is no reason why they should not be asked to contribute. . If only a fifth of their income.

As I said, many many people lose a lot of income when their child leaves full time education, and have no CHOICE but to ask for help from their offspring.

If they leave to go to uni or just leave home, then they would not contribute of course, but in the case of many I know, the general outgoings would be less, as there would be less electric used, less gas, less water (many have water meters,) less food, less petrol for school run, less pocket money or allowance, no having to buy them clothes anymore. So if they DO leave, of course your outgoings will drop.

I find it absurd that some people are saying there is virtually no difference to the family outgoings when a young adult leaves. If they STAY, why on earth should they not be asked to contribute to the household?

Is there really any need to use Caps....?

On other threads mentioning that you will lose tax credits/Chb would result in you being roundly told that this was not a surprise event. You know it will happen, so factor it in.

I can say that I have certainly not noticed a difference to the tune of £40pw in outgoings since my eldest son left home.

poet123

thorsoak wrote: »

I'm just wondering what will happen in all these households, where everyone is so thrifty, so considerate, when one of the youngsters suddenly rebels ...and it does happen, even in the best homes! Or they invite back a friend, who questions the routine.... Or even worse - one of them falls in love and brings home a partner who will not conform.

Unless you put locks on all your cupboards, keep the controls for central heating/water in your possession at all time, it will happen that someone will stay up after 10.30 pm .........

Believe me - I speak from experience :eek:

Not conform.....please.. If once/twice a week someone chooses to stay up later, (not that we go to bed at 10.30pm anyway, more like midnight) or invites a friend back, that still won't equate to the figure mentioned.

Soleil_lune

poet123 wrote: »

Is there really any need to use Caps....?

On other threads mentioning that you will lose tax credits/Chb would result in you being roundly told that this was not a surprise event. You know it will happen, so factor it in.

I can say that I have certainly not noticed a difference to the tune of £40pw in outgoings since my eldest son left home.

I genuinely seriously give up. You are literally not listening to a WORD I am saying, and are just repeating the same things over and over, not taking a BLIND bit of notice of what other people are saying, or taking any of it on board! All you are interested in is YOUR points and the points of people who massage your ego and agree with you.

...It's like banging my head against a brick wall.

I am going to sign off for the night before I throw the laptop across the room. You are seriously hard work. I am off on holiday for a few days tomorrow. After conversing with you on here: I need it!

supersaver2

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I genuinely seriously give up. You are literally not listening to a WORD I am saying, and are just repeating the same things over and over, not taking a BLIND bit of notice of what other people are saying, or taking any of it on board! All you are interested in is YOUR points and the points of people who massage your ego and agree with you.

...It's like banging my head against a brick wall.

I am going to sign off for the night before I throw the laptop across the room. You are seriously hard work. I am off on holiday for a few days tomorrow. After conversing with you on here: I need it!

You really need to chill out! Throwing your laptop across the room over a thread on MSE!? Also using caps is quite rude, it infers you are shouting and doesn't do anything to get your point across.

Dunroamin

poet123 wrote: »

Not conform.....please.. If once/twice a week someone chooses to stay up later, (not that we go to bed at 10.30pm anyway, more like midnight) or invites a friend back, that still won't equate to the figure mentioned.

We went to bed at around 11.00pm and our teenager was routinely up until 2 in the morning. When we banned the use of the central heating to this time (we were far too hot to sleep) we found he snuck in a fan heater and frequently fell asleep and had it on all night.

As I said earler, not all kids are as well trained and as obliging as yours obviously were.

However, I think that this has become too specific and personal. Some of us obviously believe, as a matter of principle, that adult children with their own income should contribute to the running of the family home whilst others think that it's a parents' job to keep them virtually for free until they reach retirement age!

paulineb_2

I dont think Im missing any point at all. I grew up in a family where my mum was a single parent and worked. She didnt get tax credits as there werent any in those days and she got barely any maintenance for me from my dad, the legal minimum, and none from my brothers dad, who !!!!!!ed off to Oz when he was very young.

We were not rich by any manner of means but she still didnt believe that as soon as a child turned a certain age they should automatically be charged rent. And thats a viewpoint she still holds.

Lots of peoples income drops when kids reach a certain age. It shouldnt necessarily be up to the child to make up the shortfall.

However, I agree, if someone is earning a decent wage, they could pay for their own food, give something towards utilities that they use. Id have been more than happy to pay for my own food if I could have afforded to and I'll say again, just because some parents dont think its necessary to charge someone rent every month, doesnt mean that those kids, when they do have some money, do nothing for the parent

I have always appreciated everything my mum has done for me and I have only been sorry that in times gone by that I wasnt earning double what I did so that I could treat her more.

There is no definite right or wrong here, a magical number that people should be or should not be charged, its up to each individual family to work out what suits them and hopefully that should be done by positive communication and not just saying, right, you are this age, this is what you pay. Theres a way of saying to people, look we need a bit of extra cash or we will give you discounted rent because its still cheaper than it would be if you had a flat etc etc etc

What other people do, is entirely up to them.

poet123

Dunroamin wrote: »

We went to bed at around 11.00pm and our teenager was routinely up until 2 in the morning. When we banned the use of the central heating to this time (we were far too hot to sleep) we found he snuck in a fan heater and frequently fell asleep and had it on all night.

As I said earler, not all kids are as well trained and as obliging as yours obviously were.

However, I think that this has become too specific and personal. Some of us obviously believe, as a matter of principle, that adult children with their own income should contribute to the running of the family home whilst others think that it's a parents' job to keep them virtually for free until they reach retirement age!

No, I don't think they should live rent free till they reach retirement age, but I think that if parents can they should try to help kids get on the property ladder by not charging market rent. To be clear, our kids paid rent when they began employment, but it was not taken to make them pay equal shares, but to give them the understanding that not all income was disposable.

My kids who live at home are out of the house just after 7.15am so staying up till 2am is not something they do. I don't know anyone with a job who does that, or not for long, they soon realise sleep is needed to function.

poet123

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I genuinely seriously give up. You are literally not listening to a WORD I am saying, and are just repeating the same things over and over, not taking a BLIND bit of notice of what other people are saying, or taking any of it on board! All you are interested in is YOUR points and the points of people who massage your ego and agree with you.

So, lets be clear, anyone who agrees with me is massaging my ego? And if they agree with you does the same apply? Do grow up, I don't think a forum is the place for someone who cannot do the cut and thrust of debate. PERHAPS KNITTING IS MORE YOUR STYLE?

Soleil_lune wrote: »

...It's like banging my head against a brick wall.

That happens when you don't make cogent points.

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I am going to sign off for the night before I throw the laptop across the room. You are seriously hard work. I am off on holiday for a few days tomorrow. After conversing with you on here: I need it!

I agree, I do think it is time you had a holiday....perhaps you will come back less chippy and more able to listen to others and not feel the need to SHOUT ALL THE TIME TO MAKE A POINT.

mumps

Dunroamin wrote: »

Two showers a day, having the heating on after we went to bed, running the washing machine and tumble dryer for a couple of things that happen to be needed urgently doesn't come free!

Mumps - a household of two adults and one teenager is going to notice the change more than a household of six.

When my youngest went to uni we were a household of two adults and one teenager.

mumps

Dunroamin wrote: »

When ours left home our utility bills (which admittedly included the phone) went down by about £40 a week, which, with the above extras, wouldn't be covered by the OP at the moment.

Dunroamin wrote: »

I think that your teenagers may have been better trained than many of them but, in our situation costs dropped dramatically. If you add in food, when we were paying for this, costs dropped another £30/40 pw.

Dunroamin wrote: »

Well, as the one that said it, I can say that it was an honest assessment. (Don't forget that I was including basic foodstaffs and toiletries as mentioned before.)

I am a bit confused, does the £40 a week just cover utilities as in the first post I quote above with another £30 to £40 for food in quote two or is it quote three when the £40 seems to cover both?