How do you make decisions?

double_mummy

hermia and von d i hope no one throws loads of coins at you when you are flipping your coin you may fall into the sea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBRNLY8Snrk

heartbreak_star

I ponder both sides of a decision by thinking five years ahead.

If I would regret it in five years, I don't do it. If I would regret not doing it, I'll do it.

HBS x

Mojisola

I do the Rachel list as well and then go with my gut feeling!

If gut feeling isn't clear, I'll toss a coin like Hermia and FatVon. Your reaction when you see which answer comes up usually makes it clear.

The final thing is to then make the most of the choice you made - you've no way of knowing whether the other choice would have been better so, even if it isn't perfect, don't think of it as the "wrong" decision.

itsanne

The scary time is in the lead up to big decisions. There is plenty of good advice on here about that already. I would just add that I think one important aspect of making big decisions comes after making them. That is to accept the decision once it's made and not keep worrying over whether it was the right one. Often there is no "right" decision in that whatever you choose will work, just differently.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

stir_crazy

I do tend to go with my gut feeling, but if it's not strong enough to help me decide then I speak to DH or my mum. I usually find the process of talking it through to them helps me make up my mind.

I_try

Always go with the gut feeling. I can hear what my heart and my head say but have found more and more that the gut is always right.

If you are not sure what your gut feeling is write both options onto separate pieces of paper or assign option to side of a coin, what is your first feeling when presented with the winning option? If it is disappointment or questioning then it is not what your gut tells you is right. Accept no buts!! It must be the initial response that you listen to.

lostinrates

Emigrating can be tough.

I've lived ina lot of different places and seen people who've moved for all sorts of different reasons.

People who have moved looking aimlessly for something to fulfil them or make them happy rarely find it that I have seen. You cannot out run yourself or the problems that keep you awake at night.

However, if you have a plan, and a desire and emigrating is part of it go for it.

The other point is this, you might be eligible to live in two places by virtue of parents or whatever, but ....
If one of them is eu, there is a whole continent available to you that might not have any of your family's sorries attached to it. For example, DH and I have family almost every where in the world, but we lived in Milan and know it better than most in our family now, and one of my in laws is now working in Ireland, somewhere none of us have spent much time. Making your OWN space in the world in a family where geography becomes somehow a character can be very liberating. (But you still cannot outrun yourself!)

tiger_eyes

A major factor in decision-making for me is whether I have an exit strategy for if it all goes wrong.

KME91

When we were deciding whether or not to emigrate we sat down together and talked over what could go wrong, and what the really hard bits would be. and then we talked about the things that would be really good about it. And we talked and talked and talked some more. We went over it for weeks. Ultimately though, we took the attitude of 'life is short, and we might well never get this chance again' and we went for it. And once we jumped, we fully committed to it. I've seen people here who've given up and gone home after 6 months here, without really trying to integrate, make friends, or settle down. It's not easy to emigrate, but for us it was probably the best thing we've ever done.

tayforth

This is a fascinating thread, thank you everyone.