How do you make decisions?

gwen80

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, but not sure where to post it. I wanted to ask people how they make decisions...not little ones, but the big ones in life. I'm currently pondering selling my house, emigrating, possibly changing career and I feel completely overwhelmed and confused. I can't seem to see the wood for the trees (is that even the right saying?)? How do you make the big decisions in life? How do you work out the best thing to do? Now I know some will say that they don't always know and make mistakes and that's what you have to do, but I know people who go through life making very sound decisions and things work out well, so there must be a knack to it or are they just lucky?

Gwen

double_mummy

i do what is known in our house as a rachel list

a rachel list has option A and option B you write all the pros for each option you write all the cons for each option whichever has the more pros than cons wins

you can also add a dealbreaker any list that contains a deal breaker automatically loses

so your list may look like this

A
Pros
secure
affordable
enjoyable

cons
boring
hate job
no cats allowed

B
pros
extra bedrrom
adventure
excitement

cons
unsafe
irregular
away from family

gwen80

double_mummy wrote: »

i do what is known in our house as a rachel list

a rachel list has option A and option B you write all the pros for each option you write all the cons for each option whichever has the more pros than cons wins

you can also add a dealbreaker any list that contains a deal breaker automatically loses

so your list may look like this

A
Pros
secure
affordable
enjoyable

cons
boring
hate job
no cats allowed

B
pros
extra bedrrom
adventure
excitement

cons
unsafe
irregular
away from family

Does that work well for you? Why's it called a Rachel list?

balletshoes

have you looked into emigrating to the country of your choice? Do you have all the official information you can get, and are you on expat forums etc for that country?

Do you have equity in your home to be able to sell it at some sort of profit? Do you need that to enable you to emigrate?

I'd list the practicalities as much as you can, and if you can tick those boxes positively, then that should clear some of the trees hopefully.

Callie22

I think that the trick to making good decisions is not necessarily making the 'right' decision, but making the best out of the decision that you do make. I think it's very easy to get yourself into the mindset that you've done the 'wrong' thing, and then you end up sabotaging yourself and reinforcing your belief that you made the wrong choice. You can't always predict how something will turn out, but you can react positively to the way a situation develops and in general you find that you end up in a better place - even if that's not where you thought you'd be.

nearlyrich

Once you have made a decision you have to make the best of what occurs, I am an optimist but my thoughts are that you don't actually know, and have no way of knowing, that the opposite decision would have been any better or worse.

double_mummy

gwen80 wrote: »

Does that work well for you? Why's it called a Rachel list?

works well for me whichever has the most pros is the best options without a deal breaker con

it is called a rachel list because on friends ross tries to decide who he wants to date rachel or julie by writing a list of the two womens pros and cons and uses that to make his decision until rachel finds the list and it all goes very wrong for him lol

gwen80

balletshoes wrote: »

have you looked into emigrating to the country of your choice? Do you have all the official information you can get, and are you on expat forums etc for that country?

Do you have equity in your home to be able to sell it at some sort of profit? Do you need that to enable you to emigrate?

I'd list the practicalities as much as you can, and if you can tick those boxes positively, then that should clear some of the trees hopefully.

I have done some research, but it's very difficult to guage things from a forum. Plus I know it's expensive over there, but it's also getting more expensive over here. I can well imagine my rent going up when my 6 month contract ends for example.

I have some equity in the house, but it needs work doing to it. Do I do the work or sell it as a project? Another decision and in the meantime I'm paying rent and mortgage which I can technically afford to do, but only by dipping into my savings every month and I'm not enjoying seeing those go down. I don't think I'd need to sell the house to emigrate. As things stand I have some savings. In an ideal world I'd keep a property here in case things didn't work out over there and because I don't want to burn any bridges.

I have citizenship, so I got that practicality out of the way last year - I hadn't realised I was eligible to apply prior to that. I need to get my passport next.

I've been deliberating seeing a counsellor or a life coach or something, but I'm not sure. I know if I see the wrong person they could have their own agenda and it could be a waste of money, so I thought I'd draw on the MSE forum knowledge and see how people do it. There must be a way as I know people who always make the right decisions and things work out well, I just need to learn it.

johannalf88

I am guessing it is a "Rachel list" as in FRIENDS?

Probably called the one with the list or something!!? (Ross is making a list choosing between Emily and Julie.)

double_mummy

HEY JO!!!!!!!!

hows being married going for you ????

Lunar_Eclipse

Good question. My strategy is ultimately based on a 'life's too short' one.

I always think about which option I'd regret more if I didn't do it. And also what the worst case scenarios are. I ask myself what I would do if I knew my life was going to end at some defined point in the future (say in one year from now.)

I think we are all naturally programmed to fear the worst and avoid change. To play it safe. Whilst the status quo is safe and secure, it can also lack adventure.

I don't however think the grass is always greener, but more that life is a journey and we can choose what we want to experience.