How do you make decisions?

marisco_2

gwen80 wrote: »

There must be a way as I know people who always make the right decisions and things work out well, I just need to learn it.

That may be how they make it come across to others. No-one makes the right decisions and has life work out perfectly for them all the time though. What you don't see is the strategies and approaches these people adopt when their plans go awry. They fall back on their dogged determination and resilience to make the best of any given situation, and pull themselves through to where they want to be.

To feel comfortable about making big decisions in life you need to trust your intuition, look at a plan or idea from every perceivable angle, weigh up the pros and cons and face worse case scenarios. Most importantly you need to respect your ability to handle whatever life throws at you, feel the fear and do it anyway. Life gets boring and predictable if you always stay within the limits of what feels safe and familiar.

peachyprice

I tend to keep it simple.

If it feels right I do it, if I have reservations I don't, and I always tell myself nothing is set in stone.
It's worked so far and I have no regrets in my life.

balletshoes

On the face of it OP you seem to be okay, even if things go horribly wrong abroad and you need to return to the UK. So whats stopping you? Is it the practicalities, or is it the idea of going?

I tend not to plan for loads of things to be honest, just come up with an idea, consider if its viable, then do it (or not, depending on my circumstances). I have no regrets at all so far.

You have no dependants at this stage of your life do you? - so on paper, now is the time to do the daring things .

System

If it 'feels' right then i'll do it. Hubby has been nagging me for years to sell up and emigrate but it didn't feel right.

So I wont.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

I'm a chancer and worst case scenario planner. If it wasn't for the OH's DD we'd have upped sticks and moved back across the pond years ago. If I was single, I'd not be in the UK. I'd be in NYC. Or Toronto.

If you are single, and can come back at any time [friends and family here] and you really want to do it; then I'd just go for it. What's the worst that can happen???

justme111

I find it clearer if I can look at the situation in a different perspective.
After reading a good book for example or watching a movie or any other strong experience - a few days intensive boot camp training, surfing lessons in.english channel , working in a shelter ot hospice etc.

Brighton_belle

When I was trying to decide whether to sell up and move to a different part of the country to 'start again' I got my A3 pad and drew a line down the middle. On one side I wrote the pro's and of the other, the con's.
To my dismay, through doing this, I realised all the con's were fear based, which meant I had to go for it! Well I did face those fears and go for it and for me it was the best thing I could have done. No regrets. My life really took off when I moved where I now live (by which I do not mean I didn't have the usual life's ups and downs.)

As an aside - a life coach is very unlikely to have 'their own agenda' - their whole raison d'etre is to empower you to make your own decisions and listen to your own heart. They help you find out what you want and what is stopping you doing it.

To cope with the feeling of overwhelm you are experiencing I would recommend you write a list of all the practicalities around your idea and then break them down in to small doable tasks.

sukysue

As I get older I find I listen to my gut instinct more and more. It does seem to be the best way for me to deal with difficult decisions. Prapps I have just been lucky but it has never let me down yet!

Hermia

I make a pros and cons list (but will now call it a Rachel list!).

I also do as much research as possible, especially seeking out people who have faced the same decision (not that difficult these days with so many forums one very subject).

I also think about the worst case scenario of both options. I often find when I really think about the worst case scenario of making a decision it is often not that bad.

I also listen to my gut instinct.

I also try to think of ways to make that decision a little less final. Often with a bit of compromise you can take a risk whilst having a safety net. A couple I know emigrated and are now seriously regretting it (with good reason, but they didn't do as much research as they should). The thing is they could have made that leap but kept the door open to come back to the UK, but they were so convinced it would all be fine they burnt all their bridges. On the other hand I have a relative who has emigrated, but he has put the effort into maintaining his ties with the UK and keeping up with what is happening in his profession over here. If someone goes wrong he probably wouldn't have too much trouble coming back.

eilidh_s

If I am even contemplating a change like that then it would mean to me that that there is something in my current life that I am not happy with so I generally think, !!!! it, lets do it. 9 times out of 10 it has been the right decision and the one time it wasn't, I have been able to spin it to my advantage on my CV.