How do you make decisions?

meritaten

I go with my 'instincts'! every time I have been persuaded 'instincts' were 'wrong' - it has been a mistake! so now - I am afraid I have turned into a stubborn old bu99er - if it doesn't feel 'right' I don't do it.

swampduck

Someone once told me that not making a decision is a decision in itself!
It happens to be very true - for example - we thought about selling up and moving house. So we decorated and renovated with that in mind - only to decide that we liked what we had done so much that we stayed put!! But it was something that started as a thought - not a decision - that influenced what we did next.
May I ask why are you paying a mortgage and rent? Do just one and take the step or decision from there - you may well find that things drop into place after that. If you live in the house while doing what repairs etc are needed it will make the next step an easier one - should you sell etc.
Take one or two steps at a time and when you look back you will see you have walked miles!!

Swampy

Rummer

When making big decisions I do as much research as I can and then look at the options available to me and work out what could go wrong and I them come up with contingency plans.

Lists are very useful too helping to weigh up pros and cons.

Then I spend some time just thinking and gauging what my gut is telling me. A long walk or working in the garden is usually a good way to think.

I supposeI have a balance between gut reaction and information

danandjens_worldtravels

Generally I don't ask for other people's opinions on what they think I should do, maybe ask about their experiences or how it affected them but I am a keep thoughts to myself until I've decided. I find other people's expectations of you are not helpful.

As a couple I find talking out all the options both helpful and irritating, after a while you've pretty much made all the pro's and con's to each other several times and keep repeating yourselves. I suppose that's an indication its time to make the decision.

Time, give yourself time to ensure you have considered all the possibilities, all the potential disasters and worst case scenarios. there is no need to make a decision quickly.

This is a weird one, I often 'make' the decision and then see how it feels for a few days can I live with the decision, do i start to make plans based on that decision or keep coming back to alternatives suggesting that I've not really 'made' the decision.

A life coach, a life coach will be able to help you consider your long term goals in life and how to achieve them. What is important to you - family, travel, experiences? How to you want others to think of you - kind, adventurous, hard working? What needs to be done to be the person you want to be?

Google life coach exercises and found this http://www.life-coach-tools.com/free_life_coaching_tools.html#bookmark1 This may give you some idea of whether its worth paying for a life coach. To be honest, I think you are getting pretty much the same kind of advice off this thread.

PS I think I'm pretty rubbish at actually making decisions, but as others have said its more about how you deal with the new situation rather than the decision itself, if you are positive towards yourself and your life and your decision then it will all be okay.

Supposedly Twain said "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

zaksmum

I'm terrible at making decisions. I can't decide about the simplest of things so I'd have no chance at all about something like emigrating!

dragonette

I think about the issue exhaustively for a day or two (or more lol), then don't think about it for a while. The option that then feels right is what I go with.

It has worked well for me so far it isn't always easy, but it seems to suit me

Hermia

meritaten wrote: »

I go with my 'instincts'! every time I have been persuaded 'instincts' were 'wrong' - it has been a mistake! so now - I am afraid I have turned into a stubborn old bu99er - if it doesn't feel 'right' I don't do it.

I also go by my instincts to some extent. I don't think it works for everyone though. I know people whose instincts always seem to lead to them making terrible decisions!

Tossing a coin can work for a simple A or B decision. You don't necessarily do what the coin says, but you see how you react to the result of the coin toss. If it comes down heads and you immediately start thinking about tossing the coin again you know that that really isn't the result you wanted.

FatVonD

I toss a coin. Not because I would decide something huge on wherever it landed but because for a split second when you see the result you will feel crushing disappointment (and think 'okay, best of three!') if it comes out 'wrong' and you will then know what you subconsciously really want to do.

FatVonD

Hermia wrote: »

Tossing a coin can work for a simple A or B decision. You don't necessarily do what the coin says, but you see how you react to the result of the coin toss. If it comes down heads and you immediately start thinking about tossing the coin again you know that that really isn't the result you wanted.

Great minds!

Hermia

FatVonD wrote: »

Great minds!

:rotfl:

Let's hope our decision-making ability is also great!