Can I take my ex to the small claims court?

19lottie82

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Hey!

I don't agree with the amount of cash that lad gets but who are you to sit in judgement on what a parent gives her kids? There is nothing to say that lad is anything other than a little spoilt.

Hey! Yourself!

I'm not sitting in judgement of anyone. I was using that thread as an example. All I'm saying is, once a child / young adult enters the real world on their own two feet, they will find it a LOT easier if they have grown up not getting everything they wanted and, understanding the value of money.

I stand by my point.

peachyprice

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Sorry but I think this is a bit harsh.

We do not know the OP's situation at all. She may have not been able to find a job/lost her way on the career path because of caring for her daughter when she was younger and decided to go to university to improve her chances of a better job.

Harsh may be but needs must.

She has known from day one that her ex is unreliable when it comes to paying maintenance and shouldn't have been relying on that money when making choices.

Single parents who have an unreliable ex cannot afford to be choosy about career paths when their children are growing up, hell most married couples can't. You take any job you can to put food on your children's plate and a roof over their head.

sassyblue

19lottie82 wrote: »

I'm not sitting in judgement of anyone.

Yes you were the second you posted that link, and a bad example at that. The child in that thread may have had more money around him but he has grown up polite and well mannered as his mother said, just as the child has in this thread.

OP you don't have a chance in the small claims court sadly, chalk it up to experience. x

19lottie82

sassyblue wrote: »

Yes you were the second you posted that link, and a bad example at that. The child in that thread had more things but he has grown up polite and well mannered has his mother said, just as the child in this thread.

No, I wasn't. Where did I say the child wasn't well mannered and well behaved? I'm not talking about how they are as children NOW, I'm talking about their two different upbringings will affect their relationships with money and entitlement in the FUTURE.

I think you've just misunderstood what I'm try say.

Again, I stand by my point.

Kittykow

peachyprice wrote: »

To be fair, it was your decision to go back to uni rather than work full time, so whilst it isn't right that he hasn't kept up his maintenance arrangements, your current financial predicament is of your own making.

Yes, I chose to go back to uni, and this was because after 2/3 years struggling to find work in my profession, only lots of short term or part time supply teaching jobs. Doing a post grad cause would help me to further my career and I did think long and hard about it, but the alternative of one dead end job after another was demoralising me.

I wanted to build a better future for myself and my child.

Kittykow

rpc wrote: »

Of course you can take your ex to the small claims court. Whether it is worthwhile doing do is another matter!

If you have a dated and signed agreement to pay maintenance at a certain level (or documentary evidence that amounts to the same) then you might stand a chance.

Otherwise it is he-says she-says and he has the CSA assessment to back up his side. You'd be better off giving the court fee to charity - at least then it might do some good.

I have a hand written letter from him somewhere, i cant remember if it is dated but it does stem from when before his father died so woud give an indication of time?

Kittykow

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Sorry but I think this is a bit harsh.

We do not know the OP's situation at all. She may have not been able to find a job/lost her way on the career path because of caring for her daughter when she was younger and decided to go to university to improve her chances of a better job.

OP, have you checked that you are getting all the benefits that you are entitled to? Are you claiming all the grants/loans that you should be?

I know you are angry (and understandably so). Your daughter's father has relinquished his responsibility for his daughter and you have had to bear the financial cost yourself. Self employed non resident fathers can get around child support easily so using the CSA may have made no difference.

So what to do? I agree that court action is very unlikely to be productive.

However, I wouldn't give up entirely.

Could you write a letter updating your daughter's achievemeunts and perhaps enclosing a photograph? You could say that life has been a struggle financially and if there was a way in which he could send some money to support his daughter then this would be very welcome, even if it was on an ad hoc basis.

It will be a difficult letter to write without saying all the things that you really want to say but at least a letter can be non confrontational and, you never know, may bring back a positive response.

If there is no response then you know that he is a complete b**tard and move on with your own life.

Thank you. I think that is a helpful suggestion and one that I will try. To be honest I gave up a long time ago with getting angry and blaming him, I went through such a hard time when my daughter was young dealing with the after effects of the abuse, and received counselling and therapy.

Realistically I don't expect I will see this money but I was just looking for some non-judgemental advice; I expected it was a waste of time but as one of my daughter's friends has been through this and has recourse to court I felt i should check in case I was just being naive.

Voyager2002

If you are receiving means-tested benefits then you are probably exempt from court fees, so the legal process would cost you only time and energy, rather than money. Would it help: hard to say? Do you have any evidence of payments made in the past? OTOH, is your ex such a skilled and bare-faced liar that he could stand up in court and convince the judge that there never had been any such agreement?

paulinho121

Going through the small claims court process shouldn't cost the earth. It is supposed to give people access to the courts without needing to incur the cost of lawyers.

The thing is though, do you have the time to commit to the claim and are you prepared to face him at a trial if he fights it?

The court will suggest small claims mediation which might help you reach terms without needing to go to trial.

Dimey

Hi Kittykow
I've been away, so sorry for picking up on this point late.

You mentioned you have a letter from the Father from years ago. If the letter states words to the effect that he'll pay you X amount or X amount of maintenance then that might be the start of building a small claims case. Especially if the letter is dated and you have the stamped envelope.

Have you searched to see whether there is mention of the money owed in any more letters to you or your child? Do you have any witnesses to the promised money who would make a witness statement and attend court as witness?

If the content of the letter is useful you'll need to produce your bank statements to show the Father didn't pay you what he promised. Of course he could argue he gave it to you in cash but that would be his word against yours and the judge would make a decision based on a preponderance of the evidence. You could subpoena his bank statements to prove the amounts he claimed he paid you were not withdrawn.

If your "olive branch" approach doesn't work. You could write the Father a letter saying he still owes you X+ maintenance (more than he promised as was suggested by another poster)as he promised to pay on Y date and as he hasn't replied to recent letters you are thinking of applying to CSA or Court to obtain the money.

If the Father replies, the content of his letter may be useful. If he denies it then that will show he never paid you as promised in the earlier letter. If he disputes the amount owed, then that will show he accepts something is owed. You'll have to see and adapt your small claim petition accordingly.