Can I take my ex to the small claims court?

Kittykow

there is a long history to this...
But basically, i am in a very large mess financially, and my ex partner owes me about £8,000 in unpaid maintenance for our daughter.

He made a commitment about ten years ago to pay £200 a month as maintenance for our child, it was a mutual agreement. We were not married but had been in a relationship for some time (2 years) when I became pregnant, I discovered then that he had a wife and children elsewhere who he went back to.

there was other stuff going in, he was quite emotionally , and at times slitly physical, abusive and i went through quite major post natal depression after the birth of our child, there was no contact for some years (his choice) then he started seeing our daughter occasionally. At that point he offered to pay some maintenance (I had contact with the CSA prior to this but he was self employed and hid his income so I received nothing from them). after a couple of years of paying one amount, he offered to up it to £200 a month which i was happy to receive, as i was struggling with housing, child, work, etc!

but he has been over the last 8 years horrifically erratic about paying it. at first it was just the occasional month missed, then a few months, and in the last few years he's paid nothing. I have asked on several occasions about it but he just became stroppy and abusive, or he has made numerous promises saying that he will sort it out 'soon' (but soon never came...). I started to give up, felt battered down by him.

As my daughter has got older and became more aware of his bad past behaviour, and his erratic behaviour towards her (not turning up when he'd arranged to see her, lying, ignoring birthdays etc) she has become less keen to see him and consequently he has not seen her for a year now. She's now a teenager and at college, has her own life and is doing well.

currently I am really, really struggling financially. I lost my job a couple of years ago, and although i have had bits of temporary work since, its been difficult, so i went back to university and work/study part time.

I resent the fact that he owes me so much money, and doesn't even address it at all, just disappears, when we are really struggling. I hate that my daughter goes without .

Something has kinda snapped in me lately, perhaps related to conversations with other lone parents I've had about their financial situation, and realising effectively how hard done by I have been.
currently I am facing the very real possibility of being evicted from my rented flat and getting at least some of this money would help * no end *

I've been looking at small claims court options. Realistically - is there anything in this for me? I didn't have a formal agreement for the maintenance. Is there anything else i can do?

Thank you , if you can give me any advice

BitterAndTwisted

This kind of action wouldn't go through the Small Claims court. It sounds like rather a large claim to me and it could cost you over a grand just to get the paperwork issued. If he's self-employed and finds it easy to hide his income what makes you think you'd be able to get anything from him via very expensive proceedings in court?

HappyMJ

You have no formal agreement so you will not win in court. CSA have given him a NIL assessment so you came to an informal agreement. It's up to him whether he then pays it or not. He was the one to offer an increased amount of £200 whenever he can. It's quite obvious that in some months that he was unable to pay £200 so he didn't pay anything. He doesn't owe you anything. Sorry....

If you want to go back to CSA and open a new case you might get some payments restarted but you will not get any of what you consider arrears.

My advice...write the arrears off. There isn't anything you can do to get them.

Kittykow

HappyMJ wrote: »

You have no formal agreement so you will not win in court. CSA have given him a NIL assessment so you came to an informal agreement. It's up to him whether he then pays it or not. He was the one to offer an increased amount of £200 whenever he can. It's quite obvious that in some months that he was unable to pay £200 so he didn't pay anything. He doesn't owe you anything. Sorry....

If you want to go back to CSA and open a new case you might get some payments restarted but you will not get any of what you consider arrears.

My advice...write the arrears off. There isn't anything you can do to get them.

The CSA did give him a small assessment but this was 15 years ago. I have gone back to them recently, but apparently he's moved , doesn't replay to communications from them, and they are chasing him through the taxman

I realise now I should have gone back to the CSA 10 years ago and I shot myself in the foot by not getting it formalised. I guess i was just bullied into inactivity by his behaviour, all his promises to get it sorted prevented me from antagonising him and getting grief. Foolish now, but we live and learn.

Thanks for your advice. Just so unfair, i know he has money, a nice big house, etc but he has just !!!!!!ed off and left both his families in the !!!!. sigh

Kittykow

Kittykow wrote: »

The CSA did give him a small assessment but this was 15 years ago. I have gone back to them recently, but apparently he's moved , doesn't replay to communications from them, and they are chasing him through the taxman

Just to clarify, at the time of the first CSA assessment he was expected to pay a small amount a week, but I did not receive this as i was getting maternity related benefits at the time, and in those days maintenance was deducted from them so he paid them and then with lots of changes to the CSA i fell off their radar.

He has varied periods of work and self employment over the years, i don't think its very often been that he has been unable to afford the £200 a month , but that he has chosen not to pay it

peachyprice

To be fair, it was your decision to go back to uni rather than work full time, so whilst it isn't right that he hasn't kept up his maintenance arrangements, your current financial predicament is of your own making.

19lottie82

Realistically? No, sorry.

Things have been hard for you but from the sounds of it you have raised a sensible, independent and intelligent girl. Be proud that you did that on your own, rather than being angry - it won't get you anywhere now.

And imho, your daughter may have gone without a few things but I think that may be to her benefit in the long run, rather than being brought up like this

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4769725

Dimey

You have no written evidence that he agreed to pay the £200 per month so you wouldn't be able to put a small claims case together.

As you say, you should have been diligent years ago and pushed the CSA to obtain the money for your daughter. Now she's a teenager. Still worth fighting for her from here on, which you say you and the CSA are doing, so good luck with that.

The man's a rat but you've known that a while. You can only put his fake promises out of your mind and get on with your life.

rpc

Of course you can take your ex to the small claims court. Whether it is worthwhile doing do is another matter!

If you have a dated and signed agreement to pay maintenance at a certain level (or documentary evidence that amounts to the same) then you might stand a chance.

Otherwise it is he-says she-says and he has the CSA assessment to back up his side. You'd be better off giving the court fee to charity - at least then it might do some good.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

19lottie82 wrote: »

Realistically? No, sorry.

Things have been hard for you but from the sounds of it you have raised a sensible, independent and intelligent girl. Be proud that you did that on your own, rather than being angry - it won't get you anywhere now.

And imho, your daughter may have gone without a few things but I think that may be to her benefit in the long run, rather than being brought up like this

Hey!

I don't agree with the amount of cash that lad gets but who are you to sit in judgement on what a parent gives her kids? There is nothing to say that lad is anything other than a little spoilt.

pmlindyloo

peachyprice wrote: »

To be fair, it was your decision to go back to uni rather than work full time, so whilst it isn't right that he hasn't kept up his maintenance arrangements, your current financial predicament is of your own making.

Sorry but I think this is a bit harsh.

We do not know the OP's situation at all. She may have not been able to find a job/lost her way on the career path because of caring for her daughter when she was younger and decided to go to university to improve her chances of a better job.

OP, have you checked that you are getting all the benefits that you are entitled to? Are you claiming all the grants/loans that you should be?

I know you are angry (and understandably so). Your daughter's father has relinquished his responsibility for his daughter and you have had to bear the financial cost yourself. Self employed non resident fathers can get around child support easily so using the CSA may have made no difference.

So what to do? I agree that court action is very unlikely to be productive.

However, I wouldn't give up entirely.

Could you write a letter updating your daughter's achievements and perhaps enclosing a photograph? You could say that life has been a struggle financially and if there was a way in which he could send some money to support his daughter then this would be very welcome, even if it was on an ad hoc basis.

It will be a difficult letter to write without saying all the things that you really want to say but at least a letter can be non confrontational and, you never know, may bring back a positive response.

If there is no response then you know that he is a complete b**tard and move on with your own life.