Feeling bullied and my face doesn't fit

kelpie35

I think you should visit your doctor as this is affecting your state of mind.

Do you think that the extra responsibility ie new mortgage is clouding how you really feel?

I am in no way saying that you don't do a good job but there are thousands of people who are working and receive no thanks for the great job they do. I am afraid that is how life is for many people now a days.

Hope you feel better very soon.

gwynlas

As previously stated join your appropriate union. Keep a daily work diary to record all incidents (including the one already reported to HR)and ensure you keep notes of 1-1s if these are not routinely given. It might be that your manager feels inadequate, not many managers are taught to manage they get promoted to a level beyond their competence, and they might be buttering-up the director at your expense. Look to move on if that is what would suit you but in the meantime carry on doing your best so that they have no cause for complaint. Don't let this take over your life, if it progresses contact the union and ask for a meeting to take advice of how to proceed or come back to the forum.

Takeaway_Addict

AliceBanned wrote: »

Hi

I've worked for my employer for 5.5 years. The job is ok and secure.

A previous colleague performed poorly and was "managed out" of the organisation, if you see what I mean.

Recently I have noticed a few things, things said by my manager and director, which have made me feel paranoid. I have done lots of extra work over the past year and nearly went unacknowledged in an important report. My director is good friends with the project manager of the report, who simply didn't like me, no idea why and wouldn't work well with me, despite my efforts.

I have just taken on a mortgage and am worried as thought my job was secure. I'm feeling unhappy at work and I know that with bullying it is almost impossible to prove, particularly when it is so subtle. A lot of things have been said and done behind my back - I simply know it because of actions that followed.

I perform well at my job and in a weird way I have often felt undermined because of this. A piece of praise in an email that I was blind copied into, sent to my manager from an Oxford Professor, saying what an asset I am, was not relayed back to me. I confronted my manager on this. He made excuses but of course I feel paranoid in such an environment.

Is all work like this, I feel doomed to misery at the moment. I just feel paranoid, but not without reason. Thanks. ps we don't have a union, just an internal type of organisation intended to support staff; which in no way supported my colleague who effectively was sacked. Important to note that she deserved it - but then so do many other people at work but due to their popularity they get away with doing far less than she did. Shall I just go out all holds barred to get a new job, to prevent a dangerous situation? Thanks.

I just feel that for some reason no one here has really liked me. It is strange but there just seems to be something really wrong, can't believe I've stayed so long. But maybe everywhere is like this.

It sounds a lot of he said, she said and in your head I'm afraid. You've seen someone managed out and paranoia is hitting that you maybe next.

Do not be held to a job because of a mortgage, move on if you want and worry about issues as they rise. No job is 100% safe.

Takeaway_Addict

AliceBanned wrote: »

I don't feel I have a need and right to be praised. I was praised, and the point is, if I hadn't been blind copied, I would never have known. This is part of my appraisal - evidence etc which I need to build up otherwise I earn a pittance. In that sense it is my right, as it was given, and then, potentially withheld by my own line manager. I did wait, and I did give him opportunity, throughout a 1-1, and I was not confrontational - I simply asked why it hadn't been mentioned. I also reported it to HR, who were horrified and said no wonder I didn't trust my manager and it was not the right way for him to have behaved. The point is, I did a good job and someone wanted him to know, but he chose to ignore it when it only takes a minute to relay that or forward on the email. To not do so and even when given the opportunity not to do so, I would class as dishonest, if I did that to someone as their line manager. Maybe I am just too honest for all this crap that people play at work. I'm sick of it, and so sick of the insecurity over my livelihood that I have started to think of suicide.

So please don't come on here judging me about other people's behaviour, it's not my fault.

He's your manager, whilst it may have been a good thing for him to pass on the praise at the end of the day he isn't obliged to and its not dishonest.

And as mentioned if you are seriously thinking about suicide then again go get help whether it is the Dr or the Samaritans.

I do wonder how much is actually work affecting you and how much is your problems blowing up small issues at work.

dandelionclock30

Sounds to me like your quite low/ depressed.Like the others say please go to your Drs if your not well, they can help. No job issue is worth killing yourself over ever.No matter how bleak things look there is always a way forward.
It sounds like your in a strong position to get another job, what about contacting the agencies as well as applying for other things?

eamon

Is it possible that your line manager is the one that is insecure? If that is the case his/her manager and your business clients will already have noticed this. Of course they can't tell you this directly as that would undermine the manager.

I agree that it is nice to get praised and thanked at work. It costs nothing but means a lot.

spendaholiceejit

Watching someone get managed out of a job is unnerving for everyone who shares an office with them. I can understand why you're feeling uneasy. Best of luck, looking for a new job might be the best option if you're so unhappy.

AliceBanned

kelpie35 wrote: »

I think you should visit your doctor as this is affecting your state of mind.

Do you think that the extra responsibility ie new mortgage is clouding how you really feel?

I am in no way saying that you don't do a good job but there are thousands of people who are working and receive no thanks for the great job they do. I am afraid that is how life is for many people now a days.

Hope you feel better very soon.

Yes, that has crossed my mind. the mortgage hasn't started yet - due to in 2 or 3 weeks when we complete. But if I lose my job now I lose what I have worked towards for years; ie good enough credit rating, my own home, career progress. all because my director doesn't like me personally so doesn't want me to progress. i am not the only one who doesn't like him or thinks he has massive insecurities. it is a very cloak and dagger dept, makes me extremely uncomfortable as I like transparency and am more or less "what you see is what you get". I'm not good at manipulation and not good at dealing with being the victim of it either.

Thanks - yes I feel i have enough appreciation - apart from from the most important people; my line manager and director. Everyone else is fine.. i don't know what their problem is but they have done this tosomeone else before me so they seem to enjoy it.

AliceBanned

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

It sounds a lot of he said, she said and in your head I'm afraid. You've seen someone managed out and paranoia is hitting that you maybe next.

Do not be held to a job because of a mortgage, move on if you want and worry about issues as they rise. No job is 100% safe.

You're quite right. I feel very paranoid. I've also seen someone be sacked on the spot there, though of course i don't know the details. Also the previous person managed out was in my team, and people thought I was her friend, though i didn't like her and she was pretty much a nasty piece of work; she spread some malicious gossip about me and other people. But because I had to work with her she would follow me when I went to make tea, and start slagging off my manager and director and basically saying how unfair they were being, how insecure they were, how they were out to get her blah blah. So I bore the brunt of some of that too. It was a very negative environment and I was one of the people who did the work she couldn't or did too badly. Now for some reason the focus seems to be turning on me.

The problem re the mortgage is it hasn't started yet and is about to. My worst fear is I get a disciplinary now, or immediate sacking, and then my flat purchase falls through, then i can't get another job due to bad mark on my record. I have done nothing wrong but apparently that doesn't matter. I've gossiped but so has everyone else, and I'm not proud of it; it is a result from extreme insecurity there, probably for everyone else too. Something isn't quite right about the way things are being dealt with. I know that sounds vague but I think some people will know what I mean. A gut feeling is not paranoia; or if it is there is still a reason for it, and things that have happened

AliceBanned

Southend1 wrote: »

A union may not be recognised by your employer, however that does not stop you from joining one or from them supporting you. Your union rep will also be able to represent you at any grievance or disciplinary hearing. I would advise you to join ASAP because a union is unlikely to help with any problem that arose before you joined.

Thanks, good advice. I have now joined a union - yesterday. Just as a backup.