Why is it.......

timberflake

That all the people that post on this board regarding relationship break-ups are the ones that have been sh*t on?? Do the guilty parties in these break-ups feel nothing!!?

I myself have just got out of a heavy one, moved in together after 6 years of dating and found out within 6 months (April '07) that she'd met some guy from Myspace and had arranged a dirty weekend together! I walked out, heard down the grapevine that they now a couple (he lives in Glasgow, she's lives here in Leicester) and have heard nothing from her with regards to the outstanding financial matters. After 6 weeks I made the first move yesterday and its obvious that she's sending my emails onto her mum for her to reply, then cutting and pasting into an email to give the appearance its from her. Easy to spot as she's not the brightest and doesn't have the volcabulary to write the things that are coming through........long story short, she's trying to leave me owing £100's of pounds, when in fact I owe barley £100!

What's wrong with these people! Do they feel nothing inside? Why is it the innocent party thats always left feel so hurt and emotionally wrecked??

superjaggybunnet

That is just the way it is mate!

Been there, done that!

I would not even get involved in chasing her for money or paying her back.

Put it behind you and move on!

timberflake

There are some things in joint names though and she's paid half leaving me owing a lot more than I actually should do, on the upside they do remain a joint debt until the full balance is settled but it does need sorting.

I'm just staggered that she can act like such a b*tch when she's the one that through our relationship, home, etc away.

snowmaid

unfortunately you get people like this. No concience, no self-respect. Fine, noone can predict that you won't meet someone else. It could have been you meeting someone. However, there is a way to handle things and that is the decent way, albeit not the easiest. Women are left with children and no home, men are left with debt and possibly no home while the other party walks away and leaves the other to deal with not only the mess they may have created, eg. explaining why daddy/mommy is no longer there, been humiliated in talking to the creditors and asking for a break, selling property, but also dealing with the emotional trauma of losing a partner, sometimes having never known there was a 'problem'.

Good luck, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

angie_baby

I was there too about 10 months ago, was left owing £100's, as he wasnt in for for the last year we were together. Me being an idiot believed him when he said oh, i will sort it, i will pay you back. Tried chasing him for it. Have given up now. I have learned from my mistake, and am pretty glad. Could have lost alot more.

timberflake

snowmaid wrote: »

unfortunately you get people like this. No concience, no self-respect. Fine, noone can predict that you won't meet someone else. It could have been you meeting someone. However, there is a way to handle things and that is the decent way, albeit not the easiest. Women are left with children and no home, men are left with debt and possibly no home while the other party walks away and leaves the other to deal with not only the mess they may have created, eg. explaining why daddy/mommy is no longer there, been humiliated in talking to the creditors and asking for a break, selling property, but also dealing with the emotional trauma of losing a partner, sometimes having never known there was a 'problem'.

Good luck, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was getting on fine, over the past 6 weeks, I'd been on 3 dates (fourth one is this evening!) and gone to stay with a girl for the weekend twice, but this thing over money has made my blood boil. If it were me and I'd done what she's done I'd be so apologetic and willing to pay everything myself, but no, she not only threw our relationship and home away, not only did she leave me feeling like an emotional wreck, but now wants to leave me owing !!! much a she legally can.....

timberflake

angie_baby wrote: »

I was there too about 10 months ago, was left owing £100's, as he wasnt in for for the last year we were together. Me being an idiot believed him when he said oh, i will sort it, i will pay you back. Tried chasing him for it. Have given up now. I have learned from my mistake, and am pretty glad. Could have lost alot more.

Its a bitter pill to swallow though eh! "Oh so you've met someone else and are throwing our lives away to be togehter, oh ok, so I'll just settle up the bills for you shall I so that you two can spend some quality time together." Rubbish!

newcook

I think its only the ones who have been doing the sh!tting on are too busy living it up with whoever/whatever they left people for than to be on here!!!

I can honestly say I have always tried to stay on friendly terms with ex's regardless of who has finished the relationship but I know it doesn't always work out that way.

timberflake - how has she left you owing more if she has paid half??

if she's forwarding them to her mom, BCC her mom in on the original so she can see how much editing is being done.

unfortunately when a relationship breaks up there will always be someone who gets hurt but you will get over it

big hugs to you :grouphug: :grouphug:

snowmaid

timberflake wrote: »

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I was getting on fine, over the past 6 weeks, I'd been on 3 dates (fourth one is this evening!) and gone to stay with a girl for the weekend twice, but this thing over money has made my blood boil. If it were me and I'd done what she's done I'd be so apologetic and willing to pay everything myself, but no, she not only threw our relationship and home away, not only did she leave me feeling like an emotional wreck, but now wants to leave me owing !!! much a she legally can.....

I think if you try step outside yourself and look in honestly, I don't think its so much the actual money, inasmuch as what it represents, that is how you have been treated and discarded. The money is still a 'link' to her and a way for you to vent your anger and resentment towards her. If you have approached her in a civil way and she is refusing, is it anything you have proof of? Is there a contract between you with her agreeing to pay you back? If not, let it go and learn from this. In future any lending of money, no matter who it is, get a contract in place.

timberflake

newcook wrote: »

I think its only the ones who have been doing the sh!tting on are too busy living it up with whoever/whatever they left people for!!!

I can honestly say I have always tried to stay on friendly terms with ex's regardless of who has finished the relationship but I know it doesn't always work out that way.

timberflake - how has she left you owing more if she has paid half??

if she's forwarding them to her mom, BCC her mom in on the original so she can see how much editing is being done.

unfortunately when a relationship breaks up there will always be someone who gets hurt but you will get over it

big hugs to you :grouphug: :grouphug:

We had £400 in a bill account set up in her name. This was to be used to pay all outstanding bills and would therefore have left me having to pay an extra £100 or so. When we moved in last Oct, SHE signed up to Sky (12 month contract) and BT (18 month contract), the contracts were in her name and she's used the £400 to pay them off. She's then settled half of the outstanding bill leaving me to pay the other half being £300.

She can't use that £400 to settle her sole contractual obligations, that money came from my account!

newcook

if you are planning onkeeping the house get her name off it as soon as - you dont want to be a couple of years down the line and her suddenly coming back into your life saying she wants half the house as her name is still on it