heartbroken to face it.

owen_money

Take it from one who has been through it, stick with the DMP and you will get through it. Good luck

happycamel_2

AlexLK wrote: »

Hi there,
I am aware there is a fine line between spending enough time with your children and earning a living but surely you realised in your situation you couldn't just be a stay-at-home-mum?

That's easy to say but I have two kids under three and even as a qualified accountant I would barely break even once I'd paid childcare costs and petrol. Sometimes it just isn't cost effective to work. Sometimes the budget covers the predictable expenditure but not the one off costs so it's hard to see how bad things are.

Good luck OP.

AbbylouE1

Op I am exactly where you are. I feel so much for you because I know how it feels. We are already on a DMP and seem to be getting nowhere fast. We have decided this weekend to make a concerted effort to try and pay a little extra off our debts. Money is so tight day to day, we need to sit down together and go through everything with a fine tooth comb. Dh is due a payrise this month so we need to decide the best place for that to go.
Keep your chin up, I know it feels like wading through treacle sometimes.
I have tried last night and this morning to set up a diary but when I press submit it says the page is unavailable.

[Deleted User]

happycamel wrote: »

even as a qualified accountant I would barely break even once I'd paid childcare costs and petrol.

No way to work from home?

TripsandSmiles

Didn't want to read and run. I think you've done so well already, and in a few months you'll realise how much of a positive step this has been. And remember - crying is good for the soul x

Flugelhorn

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

No way to work from home?

Even then you might have to drive the kids to child care! ... v hard to get much work done with the kids in the house.

I worked when kids were young but TBH there wasn't much money left after childcare etc - worked in a hospital so little scope for working at home then. Mainly I did it to keep career on track and also wasn't cut out to be FT mum

HOK3Y

My sister was surprised with twins and they were born when her daughter was just 16 months old. The cost of the 3 of them in full time daycare far outweighed her salary and she had no skills to use from home. She also knew she would likely hurt her mental health to remain home with 3 very small children. She was very lucky to have a hubby with a large salary who allowed her to work even though that cost them money. I do not know how families manage with child are costs. Hats off to all those who do.

Verysmall, you are standing at the beginning of a path to a new life. Try not to take any detours, no matter how interesting the signposts! Focus on the end of the path and keep going forward. It will get better and you couldn't be in a better place. Lots of love and luck to you on your journey

Keeping_Positive

AbbylouE1 wrote: »

Op I am exactly where you are. I feel so much for you because I know how it feels. We are already on a DMP and seem to be getting nowhere fast. We have decided this weekend to make a concerted effort to try and pay a little extra off our debts. Money is so tight day to day, we need to sit down together and go through everything with a fine tooth comb. Dh is due a payrise this month so we need to decide the best place for that to go.
Keep your chin up, I know it feels like wading through treacle sometimes.
I have tried last night and this morning to set up a diary but when I press submit it says the page is unavailable.

Abbeyloo how long is your first post the system times out after 20 mins. Also one way to do it is to type it up in word then copy and paste.

Good luck x

Keeping_Positive

Verysmall you and your husband are doing all the right things. It will get easier. Regarding earning more I think sometimes the time you can spend money saving in the home ie batch cooking could be just as cost effective as working them spending more through stress guilt and tiredness.

earning more did not help but actually hindered my Df journey

verysmall

Thanks again everyone for the continued support and suggestions.

A poster asked about me returning to work and yes, I think this is going to be something that we seriously consider and we have been trying to think of something that I can do part time or at the weekends.

Right now though, working full or even full/part time outside the home would cost me so much in terms of money (childcare fees for 2 children), time (not being able to be so frugal/cook from scratch/tend our garden - we have a microholding) - Living rurally, I would have to find work in a nearby town, all of which are between 10 and 12 miles away, and I am wary of falling into a dual-income trap.

I think for us, it is looking like it would make more sense to try to increase our income by me staying at home and finding some freelance work, and I have spoken to a couple of friends about a business idea that we have been mulling over for a couple of months and to see if we could meet to try and take it further. It would not be direct income now, but there are no expenses as it is skill-based and we already have those skills between us.

So yes, work for me is a very likely solution. We are aware that the Token Payments are just a short term solution that will give us some breathing space as, like many people in our situation I am sure - yes, we did see it coming, but we didnt 'really' and we sort of ignored it for hope that it wasnt really going to be that bad. So we need to plan for actually having some extra every month so we can work on a proper DMP with StepChange, as a move up from tiny Token Payments.

We spent all weekend in the garden, building a new chicken run for the autumn (we have ex batts) from old posts we have had lying about for ages and starting to clear down the vegetable beds. We cooked and baked from the cupboards and now have biscuits and cakes for the week for all the children's lunches and soups too.

And it is sunny for the nappies on the line today.