how would you cope (financially) alone?

daisiegg

lostinrates wrote: »

Daisiegg, IMO, as someone in a similar though not identical position, worrying every day about the death of your spouse is not that good for you. My DH has real reason to worry and I just asked him ( day off, whhohoo) and he says he doesn't , and was worried then so I've had to explain why I was asking!

Check your financial protection in event of this and perhaps think about some way to tackle something that is such a constant concern.

I know it is silly and when I say 'worry every day' I don't mean spend hours thinking about it to the detriment of living my daily life...but it does come into my mind each day. Just because I love him so much and am so happy and feel so lucky that some perverse part of me feels that the universe won't allow this to continue.

Is it terribly abnormal to worry about people you love dying? As I say, it doesn't affect my life in any way...

harrys_nan

Person_one wrote: »

You pay him and he pays for everything?

Your point is ??

If you want to argue please find someone else, i dont play games

cazziebo

Interesting thread...

I was totally dependent on my ex, then he left promising he'd pay everything. that lasted about 6 weeks. I had a two year old and a 5 month old baby and no family. As a previous poster said, you cope because you have to. I got a job and did get to be financially independent.

I was on my own for 18 years until the OH moved in 2 years ago. I earn more, but decided two years ago to become self employed. I don't think I would have done that if I was still single. I've managed to keep a steady income but for example - other than some retainer money, I have no work booked from November onwards. It's just like that in what I do.

I'll be mortgage free in about a year, but have hardly any pension to speak of so have to address that smartish! Although, I don't think I'll ever stop working.

If my business dried up and my beloved OH left (can't bear to think about that) then I'd just have to find a way to manage. With no kids*
and no mortgage it would surely be easier this time.

*I do still have kids, just refuse to support them any more! Payback time!

Person_one

harrys_nan wrote: »

Your point is ??

If you want to argue please find someone else, i dont play games

It just doesn't sound like an equal or respectful partnership to me, sorry.

Kayalana99

harrys_nan wrote: »

I live with my partner in his house and pay a sum towards everything into his bank each month, He is mortgage free. but if I was on my own I would have to rent. I would qualify for pension credit, ct and housing benefit help, money would be very tight but I would manage, I did before I met him so would again.
I would also move back to be nearer my family which he doesn't want to move from where we live.

I don't see any problem with this at all.

So all the bills go out of his bank account before she moved in why would you then go about changing it round when she can just pay her share in?


Seems like creating hassle out of nothing tbh.

Treevo

Person_one wrote: »

It just doesn't sound like an equal or respectful partnership to me, sorry.

I don't think this is on at all. You don't know nearly enough to say that that poster isn't in an 'equal or respectful partnership' especially as you've decreed that you'll never be in a relationship again despite you still being a student!

harrys_nan

Kayalana 99 and Treevo,
Thanks to you both xx :A

lostinrates

All the bills go out of my husband's accounts too.

There IS some practical issue with this. I try and do things all the time for which I need a house hold bill or other proof of residence for which none of my other ID is suitable.

Its silly little things sometimes.

Dunroamin

lostinrates wrote: »

I have not made all my pension contributions. We were considering making some two years ago then decided not to. We have instead decided to boost dh's pension contribution. Sometimes there is sound tax planning reason for this in some circumstances.

I was talking about the SRP, not a private/occupational pension.

Tropez

Financially I'd be fine.

I could lose my job tomorrow and wouldn't need to rush to find a new job.

Mentally and emotionally, I'd be a wreck.