how would you cope (financially) alone?

Tenyearstogo

I answered that I'd manage, because I have done it before.

If hubby died I'd be better off financially due to his pensions and life insurance policies. I could pay off the mortgage and have a lot of spare cash. I could probably even give up work. We could live off his wage now but I choose to work as it gives us extra money for holidays and larger expenses.

If he left me it would be different. He earns significantly more than me so I couldn't afford to live here. We have enough equity that I could put a deposit down on a smaller house and afford a mortgage alone. However I wouldn't want to live in our marital home if we split up, moving home after my first (and only) divorce was my saviour. Making a fresh start was a huge motivator.

I'm always amazed by divorcing women who stay in the marital home and expect everything the way it was financially.

beckysbobbles1

I myself was put in this position a few years ago when my husband died.

And thankfully through all the grief and heartache, financially I am fine. When we were together we were reliant on each other financially. But when he passed away, we have sufficent insurance in place to allow me to ontinue without any financial worries.

tinktinktinkerbell

I would cope

notakid

Ive been worried for years about being too dependent on my husband, as I've worked part time for the last 15 years, 10 years at a charity in a very poorly paid but rewarding job!

At the age of 49 I found myself redundant not wanting to do office work and I've been able to obtain a very well paid job on the railway and have just been offered a perm job.

With overtime its just shy of 30,000 grand a year so I could now be independent if I wish. Its a lovely feeling.

If you have children it is normally the women who looks after the children and the one who has jobs which are part time or school hours. I'm hoping my health holds up, there is no reason it shouldn't but I'm getting on.

Sometimes we can get into a rut and feel we won't be able to change or improve prospects after a certain age. I know I wouldn't have if not pushed!

GwylimT

As my wife is severely disabled and her physiotherapy alone costs us £800 a month I would be significantly better off financially if we weren't together.

Skintski

I've always been good with money so I know I would make the right decisions to carry on being good with money. The last boyfriend tried to screw me over and he came out of it worse off. I then ran the house and bills on my own for 18 months before meeting my now husband to be.

persa

All our essential bills can easily be covered by one salary. Many people would live in a bigger, nicer property in a nicer area if they were us and had our income, but it's always been important to me to make sure we could cope if one person unexpectedly became unemployed. Call me paranoid... But I think it's financially prudent.

I'm female, but I earn a good wage, more than my OH - and I have a profession, so work prospects will never be dire. Sure, if I was out of work, I might need to take a lower paying job, but I'd still be able to cover my current outgoings with a paycut. I'm very lucky to have that confidence - before I was qualified, I wasn't as secure.

My mother was and remains financially dependent on my dad - they have a happy marriage, but she was determined I'd always have my independence. Having your own money and the means of making your own money means you can choose to stay in a relationship rather than feel forced to.

There aren't many lessons she's taught me, but I think this was an important one.

RevolvingDoor

daisiegg wrote: »

I'd be up the creek without a paddle.... My monthly income wouldn't even cover half of the monthly mortgage payments let alone anything else! He has life insurance though and I think there are various other things I'd get if he died. I hope he doesn't though

ETA - I have never had to manage on my own, unless you count uni. I went from my parents' house to my husband's house (how old fashioned!) I worry every day about my husband dying but not because of money...now I can add money to my things to worry about!

I'm the same, I think I would get money if he died but I don't really want to think about it.:( I would have to sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.

Tropez wrote: »

Mentally and emotionally, I'd be a wreck.

Same here.:(

persa

RevolvingDoor wrote: »

I'm the same, I think I would get money if he died but I don't really want to think about it.:(

You can't plan for the emotional fallout of a bereavement or betrayal, but you can plan for the financial side. No one likes to think about the worst - particularly when it involves facing up to our own mortality - but the hardest things to do are often the right ones.

I have a life assurance policy to cover my nearest and dearest if I unexpectedly pop it. My OH will receive enough so if he needs to take a chunk of unpaid leave to mourn me, he can. If he betrays me, we split up and he's worse off moneywise, stuff him. (We're not married and don't own property, so legally I can take that POV.)

I do think it's important to give some thought to the worst case scenario. Life assurance costs pennies - but it's worth it for the peace of mind I get.

ms_london

I'm in my early 30's and single so financially independent, it was a great feeling buying my own flat a few years ago and my plan is to overpay my mortgage. Of course, it would be nice if I was in a relationship but I just haven't met the right person yet.