how would you cope (financially) alone?

harrys_nan

Person_one wrote: »

Partner or landlord?

Why do you say that??
I dont expect to live for free so I contribute towards food and bills, why shouldn't I?

paulwellerfan

i would be fine.
i have been on my own for the last 20 years.
i manage very well. ( i am a women by the way)

daisiegg

Brighton_belle wrote: »

How about making a plan with him to ensure you know you are financially safe if the worst does happen. Work out what life insurances you have and whether they need increasing. He should have insurance that pays off your mtg if he dies , or much more likely gets a 'dread disease'. Once your mtg is paid off, you may need to/choose to down size in order to manage day to day costs.
If you have children, these may need updating to ensure that if either of you dies, mum/dad has enough money to pay for childcare will they carry on working (and the mtg is paid off)

You may already have one, but IFA can be very good and working out these things and getting the best insurances/rates tailored to your specific needs.

Yes - I think I do need to sit down and talk about all this with him! I am certain he does have life insurance that would pay off the mortgage and I have a feeling it pays out another lump sum on top of that. If the worst happened and the mortgage was paid off, I'd be able to downsize, buy a small place outright and still have enough money from the house to live off for a number of years (we have a large house and even if we had two children in the future, we still don't NEED a house this big) I also only work part time at the moment but could obviously get a full time job if I had to. So in theory yes because of all this, if he died I would manage financially.

However I kind of took the question to mean, not including benefitting form your partner's death...as in, trying to see who relies on a partner for money.

Person_one

harrys_nan wrote: »

Why do you say that??
I dont expect to live for free so I contribute towards food and bills, why shouldn't I?

You pay him and he pays for everything?

Brighton_belle

daisiegg wrote: »

However I kind of took the question to mean, not including benefitting form your partner's death...as in, trying to see who relies on a partner for money.

Yes, I was responding purely to your worry with an action plan to minimise that.

Dunroamin

thorsoak wrote: »

Yes, I manage - but we'd paid off the mortgage when we downsized. But the one point that should be emphasised is that if a couple are in receipt of DWP pensions - with no other benefits - it can take up to SIX MONTHS before you are informed of the actual amount of pension that you will receive after the death of one partner.

When this happened to me, I thought it was a one off - obviously OH's pension stopped immediately - but mine dropped to a figure that I could not reconcile in any way shape or form. And then I'd receive dribs and drabs at varying times until I was actually informed of how much it would be (I received a revised pension, taking into account OH's contributions).

But it has been the experience or three other people that I know - one man and two women. When you phone up, you are told "sorry - but we are dealing with people who have real emergencies" - which doesn't help when someone is feeling raw with grief. But its hard to move on, when one doesn't know just how much one has to budget with - when the costs will remain the same despite only one income.

I would've thought (and hoped) that most women nowadays had a SRP in their own right, not one based on their husband's contributions.

Frith

I am female and have looked after myself financially since I was 18. (20 years ago!) I did have a non-working husband sponging off me for 6 years so things have been easier since he left!

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

Er ... thanks..... trouble is, with "real people" you don't get all that much time for them to discover it...... I get their back up within 3 sentences most of the time

It was a compliment, just a roughly hewn one...I've been busy to day and was reading and typing between meetings. What I was trying to say was that you underestimate your personal qualities and how others perceive your social skills, but others have told you that

In our 'group' you have not annoyed any one that I noticed

lostinrates

daisiegg wrote: »

I'd be up the creek without a paddle.... My monthly income wouldn't even cover half of the monthly mortgage payments let alone anything else! He has life insurance though and I think there are various other things I'd get if he died. I hope he doesn't though

ETA - I have never had to manage on my own, unless you count uni. I went from my parents' house to my husband's house (how old fashioned!) I worry every day about my husband dying but not because of money...now I can add money to my things to worry about!

Daisiegg, IMO, as someone in a similar though not identical position, worrying every day about the death of your spouse is not that good for you. My DH has real reason to worry and I just asked him ( day off, whhohoo) and he says he doesn't , and was worried then so I've had to explain why I was asking!

Check your financial protection in event of this and perhaps think about some way to tackle something that is such a constant concern.

lostinrates

Dunroamin wrote: »

I would've thought (and hoped) that most women nowadays had a SRP in their own right, not one based on their husband's contributions.

I have not made all my pension contributions. We were considering making some two years ago then decided not to. We have instead decided to boost dh's pension contribution. Sometimes there is sound tax planning reason for this in some circumstances.